Practically Perfect in Every Way….

I am a perfectionist. I’ve tried REALLY hard not to be for most of my life, but the fact of the matter is, I want things to be perfect. I don’t want to lose a case, I don’t want to have a dirty house, I don’t want to miss my television shows, I want to […]

I am (apparently) SHE-Ra!

Friday nights are theoretically Husband’s nights to keep J so that I can have a night off. We made that bargain several weeks ago but he has only actually accomplished the feat twice. And I secretly don’t mind his failed attempts. It’s really easier to just continue to sleep in the nursery than to climb […]

Farting (there, I said it. Damn. I giggled.)

J is a professional farter. He makes noises that I have never heard made before and he makes them with great force. I don’t know where he gets it from (cough… Husband… cough) but he seriously has adult-sized farts. And they wake me up at night. Hell, they wake HIM up at night and that’s […]

Friday Faves

Good Morning and Happy Friday!!! I am running on pure adrenaline this morning and I kind of feel the need to be typing in all caps. But, I’m containing myself. This week’s Favorites are food. Mmmmmmmm. Food. One of my all time favorite things. But this is not just any food. This is fast, mommy-friendly, […]

Juggling Act

I do not know how to juggle. And I mean that literally. I find juggling pretty fascinating but the idea of actually trying to throw things in a semi-circle while keeping at least one item in the air at all times is absolutely terrifying for me. Maybe it stems from my fear of heights, who […]

MommyGate

I have a high-need son. And right now, his need is MOMMY. It’s borderline ridiculous and would be annoying if he weren’t so absolutely adorable. He is perfectly fine in daycare. He has fun, he plays, he enjoys his time with his fabulous teacher. But then, from the moment I pick him up until he […]

3 am

I’ve decided that you can judge just how old you are by how you view 3:00 in the morning. When you’re in college, 3 am means fraternity late night parties. You’re no where near sleep… you’re just beginning the party. When you’re out of college but not yet married, 3 am means middle of the […]

Drool

Husband has taken to calling J “Slimer.” I find it amusing primarily because it’s so appropriate. The child is a drool machine. I’ve never seen anything like it. I keep thinking he has to be dehydrated because no one could lose that much fluid and still keep going! Yesterday our only recourse to changing his […]

Post-Baby Body

Having a baby, no matter how you go about it, changes you. Sure, it changes your life, but I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about how it actually, physically changes you. I have never been tiny. I’m not obese, but I usually see about ten to fifteen pounds more than I’d like to when […]

Babies

I’ve decided babies are like crack. Once you have one, you want another one … and probably then another one. The whole time I was pregnant I complained. Okay, not the whole time, but a lot of the time. I hated gaining weight. I hated trying to find clothes for my massively expanding boobs. I […]

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  • Creative Commons License
    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at http://www.law-momma.com.



  • I'm a divorced, single mom to a pre-schooler, a full-time attorney, and a semi-reluctant vegetarian. I work hard and when given the chance, I play hard... but I'm almost never given the chance.

    I think fart jokes are funny, I'm pretty sure magic is real, and my life long dream is to buy a farm and write a novel while watching horses run around at a respectable distance. (Because horses are scary up close. Seriously.)

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