It’s my milk and I’ll cry if I want to!

Posted on | January 13, 2010 | 1 Comment

Another new mom I know had some profound words to share yesterday via her facebook status and I feel the need to repeat it here… Whoever said don’t cry over spilled milk was obviously not a pumping mother. Truer words were never ever spoken. This morning, day four or five of no sleep (who’s counting?), I was trying to get J ready for daycare. For some reason, the concept of “sharing responsibilities” is lost on my husband so he was happily sleeping until ten after 8 while I ran around like a banshee trying to dress J, give him his medications, feed him, change his outfit because he spit up all over it, make myself breakfast, feed the dog, and take the dog out. During this process, I managed to spill half a bottle of breast milk all over the kitchen counter.

Nuclear. Meltdown.

Seriously. I thought for a moment that I was going to start spewing pea soup and have my head spin around. As a little background on this catastrophe, let me tell you a few things:

1. Breastfeeding is hard. The people who tell you that it never hurt them and was so precious and special are either lying, have selective memories, or are masochists.

2. Breastfeeding and returning to work is like milking a cat. If you are “lucky” like me, you have an office with a door that locks and you can hole up in your office three or four times a day and milk yourself like a cow with a machine that sounds like it’s saying “Whatta Boob, Whatta Boob, Whatta Boob.” If you are unlucky and have to travel (again, like me), you can pack that machine with it’s battery pack and a blanket and hope to God that wherever you are going has a secluded parking lot or a one-stall bathroom. Plus, you start to dry out by the third “milking” because really, who likes to sit alone in a room with your boob hanging out while a machine commends you on the size and/or capacity?

3. Daycare doesn’t understand breastfeeding. They seem to think all babies are formula fed. They wonder why you are only bringing in 5 oz. bottles and insinuate that you are not feeding your child enough. They say things like “Can you bring in three seven ounce bottles for J tomorrow?” and you want to slap the stupid off their face because if you could make 21 oz of milk for J while pumping at work, you would be enlisted by a dairy farm somewhere.

4. When you start to run low on milk, and daycare starts to say things about your child not eating enough, you start to stress out and that depletes your supply even more.

And what does all of this mean? It means that there will be one day in the future where you will find yourself staring at a puddle of milk on the counter and wondering if you can somehow scrape it back into the bottle and still send it to daycare with your son. When you realize that there is no way you are going to do that… not because it strikes you as wrong, but because you think you couldn’t possibly get it all in the bottle and it would be hard to try again with milk on the floor… you have no other option but to begin cussing your husband at the top of your lungs. This may not solve the problem, but man does it feel good.

My face was red, possibly purple. I was crying. There was milk everywhere. And I was using turns of phrase that didn’t even make sense. I think I called him a stupid f-ing son of a milk pumper. Meanwhile, J is in his carseat finding the whole scene ridiculously amusing. Finally I had to admit defeat and I took J to daycare where I had to promise to bring another half a bottle by at lunch. Of course, that means I’ll just be behind again tomorrow. It’s a vicious cycle.

Moral of this story? It is perfectly acceptable to cry over spilled milk if that milk is breastmilk and you are a pumping mother.

Comments

One Response to “It’s my milk and I’ll cry if I want to!”

  1. Jennifer
    April 2nd, 2010 @ 7:06 pm

    Amen!

    Found your blog linked from another blog and was intrigued by the title. I went back to work in January (I'm a CPA) after having my son in Sept. After work one day I was transferring my pumped milk from my cooler that I take to work with me to the fridge. Apparently the top on one of the bottles wasn't very tight and the bottle dropped onto the floor. 3 ounces of milk spilled all over the floor! I instantly just started bawling/cussing and having a general panic attack!! My poor husband was also in my crossfires. What makes matters worse is my dog came over and started licking the milk up off the floor. The whole experience was just traumatic!!

    I'm relieved to know that I'm not the only one that reacted this way over spilled milk!

Leave a Reply





  • Creative Commons License
    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at http://www.law-momma.com.
  • Twitter

  • Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

  •  


  • Grab my button for your blog!