Poops and Teething

Posted on | January 19, 2010 | 2 Comments

My son is one talented pooper. Seriously. I’ve never seen anything like the fiasco I witnessed this morning. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve had poop on the sheets, poop all over the changing table, and my personal favorite, poop on mommy. But this morning I was truly impressed.

I could smell him from a mile away. And he’s breastfed, so a smelly poop is never a good sign. My husband says his normal poops smell like yeast. (well, he says biscuits, but that just sounds gross to say about poop!) This one was like yeast times a million. I got him back to the nursery, hoping he hadn’t gotten poop on his cute jeans because we are sort of running low on clean laundry due to my lazy weekend. Jeans off and hooray! No poop on jeans. Double bonus, there is no poop running down his legs. And then I opened the diaper.

I’ve never seen anything like it. There was no poop on the front of his diaper. No poop on the middle of the diaper. And wonders never cease, there was no poop right at his bottom on the diaper. Where was the poop? I mean, I could smell it, but at first glance, the diaper was clean.

Now I don’t pretend to know much about babies, but I do know that normal babies come with one exit hole and it is located in their bottom. So you can understand my alarm when I realized that J apparently has an emergency exit chute somewhere on his mid back. Poop was all. over. his back. The onesie was covered. His back was covered. The outside of the diaper was covered. But again, there was almost NOTHING in the actual diaper. I don’t even want to know how he accomplished that feat. And writing this just made me remember that I forgot to rinse out the onesie. Crap. My house will smell like a viral infection when I get home. Awesome.

So I manage to get him cleaned up from the miracle poop and off to school. I’ve thought for a while that he was teething, although I really don’t have any proof. He gnaws on things, he drools a lot, and God knows he isn’t sleeping, but there are still no teeth coming through. This morning, I have decided to trust “the expert” (aka J’s daycare teacher) and announce with authority that J is, in fact, teething.

He developed a new “skill” at some point yesterday which consists of random high pitched shrieking. It can be a little terrifying but mostly it’s adorable because he gets such a kick out of hearing himself. When I shared that with his teacher she smiled knowingly and said “He’s teething.” Now, what that has to do with teething, I don’t know. Apparently they make a lot of sudden outbursts when teething? Who knows. All I know is I’m taking her word for it and saying it’s true.

So that was my morning. J is at daycare, happily teething away and Mom is unhappily sitting at work still trying to find a way to get the poop smell out of my nose. I have checked my clothes several times to see if there’s any on me but haven’t found any yet. The smell is still strong though… maybe it’s just burned into my nostrils. I’m lighting a candle at my desk in the hopes that Winter (by Bath and Body Works) will clear out the smell. Worst case scenario, my office will smell like someone shat on winter. Sounds like a good Tuesday, right?

UPDATE: I have found the poop. It is on the back of my sleeve. Awesome.

Comments

2 Responses to “Poops and Teething”

  1. Fave
    January 19th, 2010 @ 5:40 pm

    J SHARTED!
    I have decided that J release such gas that the force behind it flew it right up out of the diaper where there was room for explosion to occur.

    as for the sleeve…at least you can easily wash that in the bathroom. imagine if it was on the front of your shirt and you looked like you were lactating at work…well withoout proper blockage. or on the back of your pants…

  2. amy
    January 19th, 2010 @ 8:47 pm

    i am peeing in my pants laughing right now 🙂

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