Posted on | January 23, 2010 | 1 Comment
I’ve decided babies are like crack. Once you have one, you want another one … and probably then another one. The whole time I was pregnant I complained. Okay, not the whole time, but a lot of the time. I hated gaining weight. I hated trying to find clothes for my massively expanding boobs. I hated forgetting I was pregnant and running into walls, doors, and furniture with my stomach. And mostly, I hated feeling like I couldn’t do anything without needing a nap. But now, five months out, I am harboring a horrible secret…
I miss being pregnant. Seriously! Who knew?? J is getting bigger by the minute and I almost miss him being so new and tiny. This does not bode well for the two year time line my husband and I created. We’re supposed to wait until J is almost two to start trying again… and at this rate? I wouldn’t cry if I were pregnant right. now. Okay. I’d cry. But not because I’d be sad I was pregnant. I’d cry because we can’t afford another baby. I’d cry because we’re working through all kinds of things in our marriage right now and another baby would not help that. But I would not be sad about being pregnant.
Speaking of marriage… nothing can prepare you for the toll a baby is on your marriage. Especially if you get married in 2007, buy a house in 2008, and have a baby in 2009. My poor husband doesn’t know what is coming next! He probably is expecting me to quit my job and request a move to Germany. We love each other very much and Lord knows we love J, but babies shed light on flaws in each other that you never realized you had. One of the main things a baby does is suck up all of your time. So if you don’t spend massive amounts of time together before the baby, be prepared to forget a lot about each other afterwards. My husband and I had fallen into a pattern… we worked, we came home, we did our own thing, we chatted a little at night and then we went to bed. When J came, that all changed.
My routine became come home with J, feed J, bathe J, play with J, snuggle J, put J to bed, eat dinner, go to bed. And husband would come home, play with J, do his own thing, say good night to me. That is not a pattern I would recommend. Five months into having J I had a nuclear meltdown over vomit in the bathroom and now we have a lot of fixing to do! My suggestion to new moms is to create a baby-friendly pattern while you are pregnant. Try to convince your husband that it’s important to spend time with you and your belly baby just to get in the habit because I wouldn’t want you to end up where we are. It’s like trying to re-introduce ourselves with a screaming 16 pound sitting in between us.
The good news is, we love each other. The bad news is, we have a lot of work to do to make a happy home for J. So that means no more babies for me for a while!