Good News and Terror

Posted on | February 2, 2010 | 1 Comment

So my physician script was fairly accurate it turns out. Well, except for the autograph part and the “perfect” comments. J is doing great. Like I thought, he’s been tentatively diagnosed with a B-12 deficiency. They tested both me and him (side note: it’s pretty pitiful when you cry more than your son when they draw blood) and we’ll get the results fairly soon in the mail. J will start B-12 injections and oral B-12 and we’ll re-check in one month. Here’s hoping everything comes out perfect in that test and if so, we’ll keep reducing his intake until we go back to Emory in three months and then if everything is still good, we’ll never have to go back. Phew. Cross that off my list of things to worry about! 🙂

Now on to smaller and less important things. Like the fact that all of a sudden I am PETRIFIED that I might be pregnant. Seriously. I haven’t taken a test yet because I’m too afraid of what I might do to Husband… and then to myself. I can. not. have another baby right now. Rationally I don’t think I am, but there is a small, crazy-haired red-head on my shoulder that is screaming “DEAR GOD WHAT IF YOU ARE PREGNANT?!?!?!” I am trying to shut her up because I can’t think about it, but she has a point. I’ve been on a regular cycle now for several months. I’m not late so that’s why I’m not panicked. But what got me a little scared is that I found out I was pregnant with J in late December. It was the only time in my life that I had mid-cycle spotting. Only time EVER that I recall that happening. In fact, that was the reason I tested myself on the first possible day I could know if I were pregnant. Yesterday I had spotting. Mid-cycle.

I’m so not joking when I say that if I am pregnant I will do something terrible. I don’t know what it will be, but Dear God. I can not go through all this again right now. And I blame Husband. Even though I know I share the responsibility, we both agreed that birth control and me are a bad mix. I am HATEFUL on the BC. Really hateful. Like super-bitchy, ultra-PMS for three weeks and then a cranky period week. Last time I was on it, Husband and I were dating and we almost broke up. So BC plus LawMomma equals horrible horrible things. Apparently “condom” is a dirty word to Husband. He hates them. Absolutely loathes them. And I refuse to use a diaphragm because, well, I don’t really understand what they are but they seem messy and gross to me. So we rely on the “skill” of Husband and his ability to remove himself from a dangerous situation.

Hence why I will be really peeved if I find out I’m knocked up. And by really peeved, I mean he may find me with a knife in the middle of the night after all. I have a pregnancy test in the hall bathroom. I stare at it in the mornings and I swear to you it is taunting me. I can hear it in my head and it totally has a VERY French accent and says things that are hateful about me moving in with the in-laws and selling my car. I do not like that pregnancy test. I can’t officially test for a few more days so I’m just biding my time and hoping to God that I get my period early so I can stop fretting. Because really, the odds are in my favor that this is just a fluke.

But… on the off chance that it’s not. Send money. And diapers. And the effing Super Nanny.


One Response to “Good News and Terror”

  1. This Mama Works It!
    February 3rd, 2010 @ 3:06 pm

    Hi there and thanks for stopping by my corner of the blogosphere!

    I totally understand where you are coming from. Back in the day hubby and I relied solely on the "pull out" method. And every month I would be freaking out about being pregnant. After our 2nd daughter we decided we did not want any more kids. So he got snipped. And it was the best thing we ever did. I to hated BC and it really affected me negatively. So not having to worry about it anymore was AWESOME. If you don't want any more kids then I would look into that. But if you do maybe try that new IUD (mirana?) I heard that is awesome.

    Keep us posted!

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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