Posted on | February 25, 2010 | 6 Comments

I don’t normally post twice in one day, but I wrote my earlier post last night and I had to share my morning.

I am BEYOND frustrated with J right now. Last night I went to bed at 10pm and woke up at 6 this morning. In between that time, my son woke me to eat… FOUR TIMES. That is every two hours. What is his deal!??!?!?! That’s more often than he eats during the daytime!! I’d like to believe he’s going through a growth spurt, but the child is already the size of a healthy 8 month old. He’s 28 inches long and weighs over 18 pounds. AND HE’S BREASTFED. If the child were on formula, he’d be on Maury right now with Child Services calling in and asking me why I let my six month old get to 150 pounds.

As if it weren’t enough to get zero sleep, this morning I put J in the poop chair so I could finish getting ready. Normally I let him play for a while and then I pick him up and sniff his bottom to determine if the poop chair has worked its magic. Let this be a lesson to you all… Look before you sniff. I leaned in to take a big whiff…. and smushed my nose and mouth into poop juice. Seriously. POOP JUICE. It was all over my face. I don’t know when or why I started putting my nose directly on J’s behind to sniff but that will not happen again.

I could feel the stuff soaking into my skin like quick-dry lotion. I had haul it to the bathroom to scrub my face, reapply make up, rebrush the teeth, gargle with Scope… you name it. I thought about just taking a blade and removing my skin. Because lets face it, there is nothing grosser than poop juice. It’s worse than the actual poop. At least the poop can be easily cleaned… you know when you get it all. Not so with poop juice. You can think you have it all cleaned up only to catch a whiff of it several hours later. I still don’t feel clean. I wish I’d had time to take another shower or pour boiling water on my face.

So that was my morning. I’m tired. I have poop juice soaked into the pores of my face. And I’m at work. Happy Thursday.


6 Responses to “Frustration”

  1. Cyndi @ 6 Ring Circus
    February 25th, 2010 @ 1:52 pm

    Wow, that is seriously gross. I think in less than 7 months something happened to you that hasn't happened to me in almost 13 years as a mom! Although have you ever experienced a poop BUBBLE? OMG, totally a story for another time, but can I just say: ewwwww… You know when your doctor said you'd know when you'd be ready to let J cry it out? I think you might be ready! :o)

  2. Rebekah
    February 25th, 2010 @ 2:33 pm

    Oh. Gross. Gross. I can't say anything helpful. Except maybe you should schedule some "me time" for a facial.

    Love your blog!

  3. Rebekah
    February 25th, 2010 @ 2:56 pm

    THANK YOU for adding me to your list! I would buy you a bottle of wine and help you drink if you weren't hundreds of miles away!

  4. I Love Pretty Little Things
    February 25th, 2010 @ 3:04 pm

    Hi, I visiting from SITS. Your post is HILARIOUS!!! I know exactly the stuff that you are talking about, I just had never heard called it "Poop Juice" before but, that is the perfect name for it! At least it was your own child poop juice and not someone else's child. That would be extra Yuck!!!
    It has been a LONG time since I have dealt with anything like poop juice, but I do remember it well…

  5. Ms. Diva
    February 25th, 2010 @ 3:08 pm

    That is some tired when you don't notice the poop before you go to check it out!!!I'm thinking the time has come for some oatmeal for that boy to fill his belly and let you sleep!!!

  6. Sewn With Grace
    February 25th, 2010 @ 4:05 pm

    Hi, Okay, you are too much for me. I'm sorry for all the craziness, but I so enjoyed having a good laugh this morning. Forgive me. I have teenagers so I do know what you are going through. My oldest threw up on my head when he was two. I would tell you that this too shall pass, and it will, but it will go on to something else and you'll be writing hilarious posts then too! God bless!

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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