Reasons NOT to take your Six Month Old to work

Posted on | February 26, 2010 | 2 Comments

So I took J to work with me this morning. I think he’s getting too old for that to be a viable option any longer. Below are a few of the reasons why:

1. Because it makes me feel like a million bucks when toting him into the office along with all the necessary items, and one partner looks at me and says “You look like a street person” and another says ”That’s a very maternal looking brief case” then peers in carrier at J and says “Oh. A human puppy.”

2. Because it’s going to be hard to explain why I may need a new calculator to HR after J reached out and grabbed my calculator and proceeded to coat it with drool in the five seconds it took for me to wrench it out of his hands. Husband calls him Slimer for a reason.

3. After eating his mid-morning meal J proceeded to vomit every. ounce. back up. Some on his outfit, some on me, some on his blanket and the majority on the carpet in my office. I won’t even pretend that we have a cleaning crew that actually cleans the carpets. It’s going to smell like day old vomit in my office until we move.

4. You’d think it would be cute and endearing but it’s actually seriously annoying when a gaggle of secretaries parade in and try to either make J laugh or smile, or in some way interact with him. I came to work with him TO DO WORK I didn’t come to bring a fun distraction for you kind folks. Plus, I’m too sleep deprived to persuasively pretend I care about your stories re: grandkids, neighbors, random kids on street.

But mostly, it just sucked when he started crying. It made me feel like everyone was sitting at their desk shaking their heads and saying either “I can’t believe she brought him to WORK” or “I can’t believe she’s letting him cry like that.” I do enough judging myself at home, I don’t need thirty other sets of eyes on how I parent.

So we’re back at home now and waiting for a 3pm doctor’s appointment. I don’t know why I’m bothering taking him in. They’re just gonna say “Oh, it’s daycare crud. Hope he feels better soon.” And then on Sunday when he’s out of the medicine and shrieking, I’ll know he has yet another ear infection and I’ll throw myself in a river.

I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I just want my happy, healthy, SLEEPING baby back.

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