Friday Faves … Another Guest Blogger Edition!

Posted on | March 26, 2010 | 5 Comments

I don’t know where to start with Rebekah. She might be the funniest lady I don’t really know.  Her blog and her tweets and, when I’m lucky, her emails make me laugh so hard that people think there must be something wrong with me. She’s just that funny. Husband gets really tired of me saying “Oh, it’s nothing. Just something Rebekah said.” This guest blog is … amazing. When I read it, I thought, “can I pretend I never got it and post it as my own?” When my conscience said no to that idea, I pacified myself by thinking how great it is that she and I are so much alike. I blog because I love to write. Plain and simple. But blog dominance? Now that would be pretty sweet, too.

Check her out at her home blog, Mom in a Million, in a second. First, read about her quest for Mommy Blog Dominance… and then you can go follow her blog and help her reach her goal. 🙂 If you don’t love her, I can assure you that something is wrong with you.
Blogging: The Birth of An Obsession

It all started last November.  NaNoWriMo, to those in the know, or National Novel Writing Month, to those of you who are not big dorks. The challenge is to write a 50,000 word work of original fiction in 30 days.  No prizes, no publishing contract at the end, just the satisfaction of having accomplished a mammoth undertaking. What could be bad?

My novel, as it turns out.  It was bad.  At least I think it’s bad.  I haven’t had the nerve to go back and read it but I’m fairly certain that the plot veers all over the map in inexplicable ways and I know that it’s autobiographical enough that anyone who knows me would recognizes certain elements.  And that would not be good for my job security.  So the novel stays in a virtual drawer, never to be seen again.

But writing every day unleashed in me a desire to write that I haven’t felt since my high school literary magazine days when I churned out emo poetry worthy of Bella Swan herself, only my crushes on brooding loners were always unrequited. Ahem.  Anyway…I wanted to write. I like writing, it’s fun.  And I wanted people to read it.  People who aren’t my mom.  Enter Blogging.

It seemed so simple, really.  Just look at Rants from Mommyland.  They write hilarious stuff about their families, thousands of people tune in and they’re heroes of the mom-o-verse. I can do that!  I have a family and I’m not afraid to exploit them!  Let’s get this party started! I started a blog on Blogger, wrote a long post about trying to find a Kermit the Frog doll for my son and waited for legions of fans to knock on my door. 

Nothing happened. 

OK, fine.  So, it’s not as easy as being hilarious on the interwebs.  That makes sense. I’m cool with that.  I’ll just do my research and find out how to be a successful mommy blogger. Surely there’s a website out there where mommy bloggers gather in the virtual world and I can slip in there and rise to the top of the heap like so much cream in a pitcher of milk.

Oooo, cream.  That reminds me.  I need coffee.

(20 minutes later)

OK, where was I?  Right.  Finding the secret hideout of mommy bloggers. Yeah, there are ZILLIONS of sites for mommy bloggers.  Zillions!  Zillions of places giving advice!  Zillions of contests and giveaways and fellowship building activities and conferences and protocols! There is an entire mommy blogger etiquette and unless you learn how to play nice with the other mommy bloggers, you could wind up a pariah!  And what about memes?  What are memes?  How do you even pronounce meme?

One thing was becoming abundantly clear: I am never going to be the next DooceI am strictly small time in the mommy blogger hierarchy.

Oh, I’m following all the advice.  My blog has a Facebook page and a Twitter account and I spend way more time attending to them than I spend, say, cooking dinner. I make the rounds of other blogs I like and leave comments and vote for everyone’s blog on TopMommyBlogs even though doing so means my poor little blog sinks deeper and deeper into the netherword of forgotten blogs. I network with other bloggers online and jump up and down like a crazy woman when they ask me to guest post (Thanks again Law Momma!). I stare, mystified, at blogs that host giveaways of really awesome sounding products and wonder how they got the bloggy muscle to get offered free stuff to give away.  No one gives me free stuff unless you count the bits of chewed food my son likes to extract from his mouth and place in my hand but that’s not really free since I paid for it in the first place. But I am determined to get the attention of PR flacks and product reps! Determined, I say!

I am engaged in a quest for Mommy Blog Dominance.  I cannot be stopped.

The grave danger all mommy bloggers face is forgetting to live our lives instead of blogging them.  I need to remind myself that when my son says something cute, the appropriate response is to hug him and laugh, not reach for my phone to tweet about it. My blog content should be a lasting record of a life well-lived, not a desperate race to snag the best swag or garner the most comments.

This is supposed to be fun. For me.

But while I’m having fun, please stop by my blog!

Comments

5 Responses to “Friday Faves … Another Guest Blogger Edition!”

  1. Lydia and Kate
    March 26th, 2010 @ 2:18 pm

    Mominamillion and Lawmomma,

    Let's get something straight. That might be the RADDEST blog shout-out EVER. Thank you thank you. I read you both all the time and I need to comment more because I am FLOORED by your awesomeness and how well you write and how I feel oddly like we're buds except we don't know each other. And I have to say, your comments and support have meant so much to me and Kate.

    I totally related to this post. Don't we all have Dooce pipe-dreams, even for five minutes? But I have completely given up. I don't even try to promote my blog anymore. I am bad at "selling" what we do. I am only good at telling stories about vomit. And I have read all the same websites and that friggin piece in the New York Times two weeks ago and it only stressed me out more. I can't afford to go to bloggy bootcamp.

    So Kate and I have adopted a motto. All we *have* to do is write the best stuff we can and post it about the same time every day. Everything else is *want* to do. I want to not suck at Twitter. I want to comment on your blogs and let you know how awesome and brilliant and hillarious you are every day. I want to create a relationship with Target so that every time we write the word "T-box", they send me one.

    But I can't, because if I did that, I would be blogging my life instead of living it (as you so aptly wrote). And though I would LOVE to blog my life away and maybe someday have a "successful" mommy blog, my kiddos need more of me than they're getting. So I do what I have to to and the rest waits.

    You're both really, really awesome. Sorry this comment is so long.
    xo, Lydia

  2. Samantha Marie
    March 26th, 2010 @ 4:31 pm

    First of all, congrats on writing a novel, even if it's bad. I've always wanted to write one, but the fear of it being the worst piece of fiction to ever exist gets in the way.

    Secondly, I totally related to this post. When I started blogging I really had no clue about "mommy blogs". But since discovering their world I yearn to join them. But I will never become the next you, let alone the next Dooce 🙂 I get excited if I get even a few hits/day, lol.

    Thanks for the great post.

  3. KLZ
    March 26th, 2010 @ 5:27 pm

    I think I'm in love with this post. In love, love not just in emo, tortured, like.

    Even if it's unrequited love, it's worth it. It speaks worlds to me as I too am seeking blog dominance. It is going, as the French say, badly.

    For now.

  4. Rebekah
    March 26th, 2010 @ 6:09 pm

    @Samantha Marie: You will fail at creating the worst piece of fiction ever to exist because it already resides on my hard drive. So write your novel and know that it could kick my sorry novel's ass.

    @KLZ: Awwww, I love you being in love with this post! I would even love if it was just a tortured emo crush because no one ever had one of those on me.

    @Lydia: I am swooning and don't know what to say! But I will probably say it in an email that will read like a late-night college-era drunken love email wherein I offer to bear your children if only you'll come to my dorm room and share a t-box with me and let me tell you all about me feeeelllliiiinnnggggsss about life, the universe, and everything because you're the only one who understands. And then you'll never read my blog again. Hmmm. Better not then.

  5. Eliza
    March 26th, 2010 @ 10:48 pm

    This is an great post! I love it! Sonmetimes, blogging can feel like a part time job (I can barely keep up with Twitter…forget about facebook). But I love blogging. Amazing!!!

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at http://www.law-momma.com.
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