Crap, More Crap and… awwwwww

Posted on | April 13, 2010 | 17 Comments

This morning started out crappy. It got crappier and crappier and crappier until something wonderful happened. But lets start with the crap, shall we?

Literally? There was crap. Figuratively, crap. I was wallowing in it all morning. This is my last week before trial. And I’m a little nervous. I realize that I am on edge 150% of the time and on top of that stress, I’m PMSing. (Too much info? Too bad.) I have trial to worry about and most importantly, I have J to worry about. As in, what happens if he falls ill on the morning of my trial? What in the eff do I do then? I feel like my brain is about to find a cliff and flail off of it. And I’m sure that my attitude is making it difficult for Husband to be around me. But you know what? His attitude is making it difficult for me to be around HIM.


The first bit of crap came when I said to Husband: “why don’t you take J to daycare this morning?” What I didn’t add was “You know, since you’re out of work on FMLA and not really feeling bad because all you have is laryngitis and that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything around the house, right?” I left that part out, you know, to be nice. I asked, he seemed … annoyed… but he didn’t refuse which I found to be a step in the right direction.

The second bit of crap was literal. Crap. From J. Stinky solid food crap that spilled out of his diaper and onto the changing table. Husband was in the middle of changing the diaper and somehow when it made a mess, it became my job to finish. Whatever. I’m over that part of the story.

Then came the show down. I reminded Husband just before leaving for work that this weekend he would have to refrain from playing his game at night in order to assist with J since I’d be doing trial prep. He sighed a little but went on with his life. Then a bomb exploded in my kitchen. I thought I was making a reasonable request. I said “Oh, and since my trial might spill over onto Tuesday, don’t make plans to play on Monday, either, okay?” Reasonable, right?

WRONG. World War II in my kitchen. Husband pulled out the big guns. He delved into the past, the present and the future and showered me with shrapnel from every. argument. ever. He said I always made him plan everything around me. He said he never got to do anything he wants. He said a lot of things that might or might not be true but the point is YOU DON’T SAY THEM WHEN I’M PMSING AND PREPPING FOR TRIAL!

For the first time since we got married, I left the house without telling him I love him. It felt strange. It made me feel really sad and empty. I don’t like fighting with Husband because I love him. I love him so much that when we fight it feels like being kicked in the stomach. So why do we fight? I don’t know. All I know is that we’re not communicating right now. And that is C-R-A-P. Because I don’t need any extra stress in my life right now.

The thing is? He’s sorta right. I don’t go out of my way to change my schedule for him… but he does have to change things for me. I tell him when we’re going out of town and where we’re going… I don’t ever really ask where HE’D like to go. So it’s not all Husband. It’s a mutual FAIL.

So that was my crap. I let it fester all the way to work. I was pissy and cranky and part of me wanted to call Husband and just say YOU SUCK really loud even though I would only half mean it. The other part of me wanted to call and apologize just to be done with the whole thing. Neither part won. And then I got to work and had to deal with another awesome side effect of being a nursing mom. I had to write a letter to the judge at my trial and tell him that “for medical reasons” I was going to need a 20 minute break every three hours. Yeah. You know, so I CAN PUMP OUT MY BREASTS. Not that I could tell the judge that because this is Georgia and apparently 1940. Also, added bonus? I get to pump in the stall of the ladies room in the courthouse. Cause that’s not gonna be stressful. Who wants to place bets on how much milk I spill on my suit? Anyone?

Needless to say I was thinking that maybe I could just run my car into a tree on the way home and be done with all of this stress. (I kid, I kid… okay maybe I kid. But I wouldn’t want to die… just end up in the hospital and you know, unable to do anything but drink with a straw and watch TV for a few weeks.)

And then something AWESOME happened. Courtesy of the best Mom I know… mine. She’s coming. Here. To my house. When, you ask? Oh, on Saturday. Yep. THIS Saturday. Why? Because she’s awesome and she knows I’m stressed about trial and she’s going to stay until the whole thing is over and help with J.

Have I mentioned lately that I love her? Because honestly, it feels like Christmas. It’s like she just reached down from North Carolina and crossed one thing off my To Stress About list. And that means that this day ROCKS, even though I’m still upset about Husband.

Moms really are magic, aren’t they? I hope I’m half the mom she is.

Comments

17 Responses to “Crap, More Crap and… awwwwww”

  1. Mama Pea
    April 13th, 2010 @ 1:53 pm

    You are AWESOME for continuing with BF even though it requires stopping to pump in a bathroom stall during a court trial. You are my hero. (And J's.)

  2. Tiffany
    April 13th, 2010 @ 2:01 pm

    This made me miss my mom! (and she lives here. and I saw her last night.) It is totally something she would do. Moms are seriously the best. You are an amazing mother, just keep pushing through, it will be over soon and you can move on with your life.

  3. Katie
    April 13th, 2010 @ 2:14 pm

    I agree with Mama Pea, pumping in a suit? in a stall? Rockstar Momma! And Thank God for Moms, what would we do without them?

  4. Blair@HeirtoBlair
    April 13th, 2010 @ 2:30 pm

    Moms are awesome.

    Including yourself.

    Now get some pink pills.

  5. ~*Jess*~
    April 13th, 2010 @ 2:48 pm

    Awesine, Totally jealous. And as for the husband thing, it totally sucks. I hate fighting. 🙁

  6. ~*Jess*~
    April 13th, 2010 @ 2:48 pm

    And also, I meant awesome. Not awesine some cool word I just made up.

  7. Cindy
    April 13th, 2010 @ 3:12 pm

    agree with Mama Pea! You are a rockstar or a BF star!

  8. Ali
    April 13th, 2010 @ 3:16 pm

    Mom's are wonderful!
    Just a thought don't know if it would work, can you pump in the car. Whenever I have that issue with not having a place the car works well (at least it is comfy and I can listen to music or something)

  9. kris
    April 13th, 2010 @ 4:09 pm

    Hate fighting with the husband, especially when he's even a little bit right. Also hate apologizing when it turns out he's a little bit right. You guys have SO much going on in your lives right now . . . take some time out to talk.

    Does he read your blog?

  10. Rebekah @ Mom-In-A-Million
    April 13th, 2010 @ 4:12 pm

    Yay mom! I'm making mine come down when my husband has to travel for work in a month or so. I feel kind of wimpy for not wanting to be alone with my kid for a few days but, whatev. I like my mom.

    I have pumped in a bathroom stall. Important fact: bathroom stalls don't have electrical outlets. BRING MANY SPARE BATTERIES!

  11. Kristyn
    April 13th, 2010 @ 4:24 pm

    As I was reading your post I was feeling all stressed out with you and then you got to the part about your mom coming to save the day & I got a little teary!! Yeah mom!!
    As for Husband….this is my theory…Husbands don't realize we women are trying to run the world!! Why do they argue or question our requests!?! If it was all left up to them, the world would be in shambles and smell like pee! I feel your pain, but I have come to realize, from talking to all my girlfriends, that this is just how it is!!
    Have you received Babyproofing your Marriage yet? cuz it WILL give some insite!
    You Rock! Keep up the good fight!

  12. Anne
    April 13th, 2010 @ 6:21 pm

    Moms are the best. Just the best.

  13. KLZ
    April 13th, 2010 @ 8:42 pm

    As someone who has literally spent the day covered in breast milk due to a broken bottle – I feel ya.

    But hooray for mommies! They can fix anything and make everything better. And lucky for us, we're mommies too!b Start up your magical fixing powers!

  14. myronickmusings
    April 13th, 2010 @ 8:48 pm

    Hooray for your mom! And at least you figured out what to do about pumping during trial. It will be good blog fodder, no? I'm trying to find the silver lining in that for you.

    Seriously though, you are doing great! Eventually, we'll all get this mom thing figured out. Right about the time we get KU'd with baby 2.

  15. Janelle
    April 14th, 2010 @ 1:15 am

    Your are a rock star for pumping in a bathroom stall for J. Isn't it funny how when we become mama's, we lean on our own more than ever!

  16. Delia
    April 14th, 2010 @ 2:19 pm

    Isn't it amazing how mom's just know to do things like that? Good luck – I'm sure you'll rock at the trial.

  17. JillyB
    April 14th, 2010 @ 4:26 pm

    All hail the MOM! And you are the Queen of Breastfeeding!

  • Creative Commons License
    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at http://www.law-momma.com.
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