Posted on | April 26, 2010 | 17 Comments
Well, this week has already gotten off to a fantastic start.
Yes, that was sarcasm. (Sidebar: When will someone create sarcasm font?!?!)
First things first, I had a back ache all weekend. At one point it was so bad that I had to sit down while Husband and I were at the mall. LIKE AN OLD LADY. I felt like my grandmother. Is this what happens at 32? Because no thank you. I would like to be able to walk the length of the mall without stopping to adjust my support hose and prop my feet. Add to that back pain, I am about 12 days late on my period. Twelve. And I almost threw up yesterday morning on several occasions. But three pregnancy tests have told me I am not pregnant, the most recent this morning, so I don’t think that’s going to be added to the worry list just yet. (Who are we kidding?)
But back to this morning. I woke up around 6 with not only a massive back ache, but now with the added bonus of a massive ache in my stomach. Not like your normal upset stomach, but like an ache that says “Something inside of you has probably exploded and you’re in the process of internally bleeding to death.” It feels awesome. I could barely lift myself out of bed much less my 20 pound son.
J was in rare form this morning. And I mean that in a good way. He was so happy he was literally squealing with delight at everything. I love seeing him that happy, but it also means he’s massively wiggly. His favorite thing to do when he’s in a good mood is to roll around on the bed trying to elude me while I change his diaper. It’s a fun game when he only has a wet diaper; not so much when there’s poop.
But this morning he just calmly let me start to change his diaper, squealing happily at me. He even seemed genuinely happy when he hauled off and kicked my hand… INTO THE POOP. Seriously. Slammed it into the diaper with such force that it made a squishing sound. *shudder* Just the memory makes me want to vomit. I had squashy-looking poop all. over. my hand. And then, without thinking.. (give me a break, it’s early at this point) I shook. my. hand. You know, like you do when there is water on it?
WHAT WAS I DOING??? I threw poop. Like a damn zoo monkey. I splattered poop onto the bed, my pajama pants, J’s pajamas… everywhere. I hope to God it didn’t go on the wall because I didn’t have the heart to turn on the light and look. I started to try to clean it up but then gave up, stripped the bedsheets, and threw them in the wash along with my clothes and J’s clothes.
*sigh* And now I’m sitting around waiting for my OB’s office to open so I can make an appointment. I figure I have to start somewhere in figuring this out and it might as well be there. I like that doctor best!
Happy Monday y’all. Watch out for flying poop.