Please send Sleep Fairy ASAP

Posted on | May 11, 2010 | 19 Comments

If I were to write the actual post that’s in my head today, it would consist of one word. That word would be in all caps, bold, and underlined. And in really large font. What is that word? I’ll give you a hint… it starts with F and ends with the last three letters of duck.

I need sleep, y’all. Like really bad.

This whole not sleeping thing is making it so hard to deal with everything else in my life. I was really proud of myself for how well I was handling the whole PPD/PPA thing. I even went so far as to take a half dose of medication on Sunday because I was feeling all superwoman-ish. Really bad idea. By mid-day yesterday I felt like the world was about to collapse on me.

And maybe it’s just the lack of sleep. Or maybe I’m not as superwoman-ish as I imagined. PPD/PPA is a cruel, cruel mistress. Don’t let anyone lead you to believe otherwise. It can’t be cured by a shopping spree or a new purse. You can’t nip it in the bud with a good cry or a good bottle of wine. You can’t even keep it at bay with quality time with the Husband or by yourself. It’s just not that easy.

So I’m trying to take a step back today. I’m trying to recognize that I don’t have to be superwoman. I don’t have to get everything done on my list. I don’t have to get J to sleep through the night TODAY. I don’t have to have that talk with Husband about finances. I don’t have to be my boss’s eyes, ears, and brain on every case he has. I don’t have to vacuum if I don’t feel like it. And you know what? I don’t even have to do the piles of laundry that are lining the walls of my hallway like little trash heap soldiers. The only thing I have to do every day is get out of bed. I have to get out of bed and I have to breathe. Eating is a bonus, although I don’t forget that very often. And if I can just remember those important things, the rest will fall into place.

But some days? Like today? It’s hard to remember to get out of bed. And even harder to remember to breathe.


19 Responses to “Please send Sleep Fairy ASAP”

  1. info
    May 11th, 2010 @ 12:59 pm

    Hang in there. We've all got your back.

  2. Rebekah @ Mom-In-A-Million
    May 11th, 2010 @ 1:01 pm

    Yeah, so that last comment (listed as from "info") was from me. I was logged into google on a work account and forgot to switch over. Oops!

  3. Caitie
    May 11th, 2010 @ 1:07 pm

    Amen, sista.

  4. KLZ
    May 11th, 2010 @ 1:17 pm

    Love you. We're right here.

  5. Ms. Diva
    May 11th, 2010 @ 1:25 pm

    Small steps, small steps!! Just remember to breathe!!!

  6. HarmSkills
    May 11th, 2010 @ 1:37 pm

    hang in there! and dont forget to eat… you need your nourishment!

    I wrote a post about sleep (or lack of) today. If you want to comiserate, email me

  7. Leslie
    May 11th, 2010 @ 1:47 pm

    Hi there. I've never posted before, but I love your blog. I just wanted to offer some support and let you know that I totally understand what it's like to have NO sleep at all.

    My little one (about the same age as J) just decreased her night wakings to once per night (from 3-4) within the last month. I'd be totally willing to let you know what we did. Just send me an email or FB message (don't want to further hijack your comments section). In the meantime have several huge cups of coffee and know that we're all here trying to wish you up a good night's sleep.

  8. Kim
    May 11th, 2010 @ 2:50 pm

    You got out of bed. GOOD job. You went to work. BETTER job. AND you're showered and dressed, have had some coffee/tea/water, put on some makeup, dressed J and got him to daycare, right? Look at everything you've accomplished already! Make a list of every little thing you do, then cross it off to show yourself all you have done. You will be amazed. And uhm, news flash? You ARE supermom 🙂

  9. Sara
    May 11th, 2010 @ 2:59 pm

    What Kim said. All those little things you do on autopilot every day? They TOTALLY count! You're already kicking this day's ASS!

  10. Ali
    May 11th, 2010 @ 3:02 pm

    You don't have to be Superwoman to be a Super-mom, just remember that. If putting things off help to make you happy that day, do it, don't worry about the list. Sending positive vibes, oh and if the sleep fairy stops by can you send her my way after 😉

  11. Tiffany
    May 11th, 2010 @ 3:30 pm

    Oh gosh, I've been there momma. Keep pushing through – it's true what they say – this too shall pass.

  12. rebeccaeee
    May 11th, 2010 @ 3:51 pm

    I always figure at the end of the day if the kids are alive, fed and reasonably clean and/or happy, I have been successful. Some days I hang onto the first part: kids lived through the day, check. Everything else is icing on the cake.

  13. My Mercurial Nature
    May 11th, 2010 @ 4:05 pm

    The others things can slide…just make it through the day and feel GOOD about even the smallest things you've done.

  14. Krista @ Not Mommy of the Year
    May 11th, 2010 @ 4:37 pm

    Hang in there, you're absolutely right. One step at a time, one day at a time and it will all fall into place. I hope you get some sleep soon, that's just an evil bitch to be dealing with everything you've got going on without being able to escape it and get some rest.

  15. Natalie
    May 11th, 2010 @ 4:59 pm

    I.totally.feel.your.pain. I swear, being a mom is so hard sometimes! I have 8 month old twins that sleep pretty good, but my toddler? Still doesn't sleep through the night! I'm always tired. A nap would be nice…

  16. Janelle
    May 11th, 2010 @ 5:22 pm

    I agree with Kim…and everyone else. You're doing great, and this too shall pass! In the meantime, coffee is fabulous…

  17. Law Momma
    May 11th, 2010 @ 5:35 pm

    Thanks all. The encouragement is very much appreciated! And Leslie? I'd totally email you but it doesn't show me your address. Email me?

  18. Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip
    May 12th, 2010 @ 6:36 am

    I'm new to your blog but I just wanted to tell you that I am very sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. Motherhood is the hardest job that you'll ever love. And sleep deprivation is a real killer. And the baby blues are very very real and you are absolutely right to tell yourself to just do the bare necessities and don't worry about the rest. You are a strong woman and a great mom. And we are all here to support you all the way!! Big hugs.

  19. Kristin
    May 12th, 2010 @ 8:23 pm

    UGH, been there. It gets better. Promise!

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