My son may be trying to give me heart failure

Posted on | June 1, 2010 | 8 Comments

It’s tough getting back in the swing of things after a long weekend.

I think it’s probably a good thing that I haven’t taken a full week off (other than maternity leave, of course) since my honeymoon. I don’t know that I’d be able to return to work! I’ve actually been at my office for an hour and a half and have done … nothing. Seriously. Not. a. thing.

Partly that’s because my office is a pig sty. Honest to God, you would cry if you saw this place. I had J in here last week so a lot of my files that were on the floor are now piled on top of furniture so he couldn’t eat them. I tried to straighten up this morning but I don’t even know where to start. At least it’s Tuesday and not Monday. The week always seems better when it starts without a Monday, right?

J has learned a new trick and has been using it to terrify me at night. He thinks it’s the bees knees. In the dead of night, when all is quiet, not a creature stirring, my little boy will throw back his head… and shriek. Seriously. High pitched. Louder than a fire alarm in a college dorm.

It will turn my hair white one of these days. It happens and I sit straight up in bed, heart pounding, head spinning and wondering what planet I’m on, what time it is, and who is stabbing my child with a safety pin. I now know what Janet Leigh must have felt like in Psycho. J, on the other hand, thinks it’s hysterical. I know this, because he will perform this horrifying feat and then crack up laughing for a good five minutes afterwards. I think he’s trying to drive me crazy. And the worst part?? HUSBAND CAN SLEEP THROUGH IT.  How is that even possible? Did I marry a mutant with the ability to turn off hearing while he sleeps? Is this whole thing a test to see what I can go through before a complete and total meltdown? Quite possibly.

This morning he didn’t pull this stunt until the late, late hour of 5:00 am. That may not seem too terribly late to you, but trust me? It’s a damn sight better than the 3:30 am shriek of yesterday fame. If this keeps up and Husband continues to sleep through it, I’m thinking of buying a megaphone. That way when J screams, I can put the megaphone directly against Husband’s ear and sweetly say “BABY’S AWAKE!” Bet he’ll hear that…

I don’t know what to do with J. He’s so stinking cute it’s hard to say “no” and mean it for any length of time. He’ll just turn and look at Husband and I with this quizzical look like “what do you mean, ‘no?’ I’m cute, right?” And then he’ll flash a smile and we’re putty. It doesn’t bode well for the teen years.

Ah well, it’s Tuesday. I made it through the early morning squeal fest. I’m dressed and at work. And oh yeah? My doctor says the lump is nothing to worry about. If that’s not cause for a good day… 🙂 Don’t forget to stop by Sunday’s post and enter to win some adorable “calling cards” for modern day moms. It’s straight out of my own pocket and the love in my heart for all of you. 🙂 Happy Tuesday!


8 Responses to “My son may be trying to give me heart failure”

  1. ARob
    June 1st, 2010 @ 2:21 pm

    We have the same problem with saying "no." He just looks at us, smiles & goes right back to what he was trying to do!! We know who has all the power in our house!! I haven't left the house yet, but today is sure to feel like a Monday even though its Tuesday! GRRR

  2. D
    June 1st, 2010 @ 2:38 pm

    It's not just yours – I'm convinced that ALL men must come equipped with selective hearing.

  3. Steph
    June 1st, 2010 @ 2:46 pm

    My husband can also sleep through a train rumbling through the house. I think sometimes he lays there and just PRETENDS to be sleeping through the noise.

    I'm glad your doctor put your fears to rest and that it was nothing!!! I was thinking about you this weekend!

    All babies turn parents to putty but believe me, once the "terrible 3's" hit you'll learn it quick enough and it'll feel like it's the only word you actually know.

  4. KLZ
    June 1st, 2010 @ 2:47 pm

    Speaking as someone who's husband sleeps through our son screaming for an hour even though he's 10 feet from our bed….I don't think a megaphone will make a difference.

  5. Anne
    June 1st, 2010 @ 5:02 pm

    I agree with D, all men have selective hearing for sure.

    I find myself saying no a lot these days. Sometimes Nik listens, but usually not 🙂

    As for your office, I used to take a Friday afternoon now and then and clean the whole thing…it is way too easy to drown in paper!

  6. JDaniel4's Mom
    June 1st, 2010 @ 6:53 pm

    I am afraid my toddler will know I read this and start tonight.

  7. Stacey
    June 1st, 2010 @ 10:53 pm

    Our Husbands must be related. Mine sleeps through every feeding, scream, cry and whine. Sometimes I want to just punch him. I know I wake up at the sound of the baby sniffling or stirring in her sleep and I don't expect that of him. But when the 17 month old is screaming on top of his lungs at 2am and he just lays there…snoring? I'm ready to open the proverbial can of whoopass. Haven't been brave enough yet though…lol.

  8. Melodramamma
    June 2nd, 2010 @ 5:16 am

    LOL! I can sooooo relate to what you're going through. My little girl is a screamer. Always has been probably always will be. A few months ago she woke up screaming gave me a heart attack, though when I got to her bed she tells me she just needs me to pull the blankee back on top of her. Child! I thought, what are you doing to me! Anyway, hang in there. It gets better. In the mean time, you will never lack a good story to tell.

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