Motherhood in the time of Cholera

Posted on | June 28, 2010 | 14 Comments

There is no rest for the weary.

Unless you’re male. Then you can get all the rest you want and then some.

Let me back up. I am sick. J is sick. Husband is perfectly well. I don’t know if J’s sleeping for the past little bit is because of something we’ve done or because he feels like the floor of a middle school bathroom. He is SICK. And I say this with some authority because I have the same disease.

My throat is raw. My chest hurts. I have the cough of a lifetime smoker. My stomach hurts. My head may very well explode. And guess who is caring for J?

If you guessed Husband, you are obviously a first-time reader. Welcome. Take your shoes off. Pour a glass of wine, and seriously? Get real.

On Saturday night, J woke up around 2:30. I was feeling like a trash heap so I rolled over and asked Husband to go get J. (Side note… yes. I said rolled over. As in I’ve been sleeping in the same bed with Husband again! FINALLY.) He takes a little while, but finally creaks out of bed and heads over to the nursery. All is quiet for a while. Then after about five or six minutes, I feel Husband climb back in bed with me. Awesome, right? Baby is back to sleep with zero effort on my part.

Yeah, no. After a few minutes, I hear a cough. Then a sniffle. And they don’t sound like Husband. Then, a few seconds pass, and I feel a tiny hand tugging on my hair.

HE BROUGHT THE BABY BACK TO BED.

This is a big deal for several reasons. First, as mentioned, I’m sick. Second, there’s a perfectly good bed in the nursery. Third, he proceeds to do the following:

Husband: “Baby? I think he’s hungry. He spit out the passy when he saw you.”
Me: ::silence::
Husband: “Baby? Here you go.” :puts baby down beside me::
Husband: “I’m going to go sleep in the nursery.”

If it had not been 2:30 in the morning. If there were not a baby in bed with me. If my throat hadn’t been burning like the pit of hell… I would have said something along the lines of Offspring in Bad Habit. Instead? I nursed the baby. And proceeded to suffer through the next hour or two of Jungle Gym Mommy as I was pulled, poked, prodded, pinched and climbed upon until J fell asleep catty cornered in the bed after throwing up on my pillow.

And that was just Sunday morning.  It got worse. Much worse.

I had to go to work so I left Husband in charge of J. Granted, I knew this would be tough because J is sick and when he’s sick all he wants is me. But I didn’t expect to come home after four plus hours to the following exchange:

Me: Hey little guy! ::picks up J:: Hey baby. ::kisses Husband:: When did he last get his diaper changed?
Husband: Oh. Um…. when did you leave?
Me: ::dumbstruck::

I didn’t even know what to say. It was after four o’clock. I had left before noon. In his (ever so slight) defense, he did start laughing and apologized profusely saying how very sorry he was that he sucked at life. And then he went to Best Buy for a Universal Remote because he managed to break ours while I was at work. And left me with the baby.

Being a mom, when you’re sick, is so. freaking. hard. Because all you really want is for someone to be your mom. Someone to bring you soup and a blanket and fun movies and maybe, I don’t know, a milkshake or something. And instead? You’re being the mom. You’re taking care of the sick baby. And doing the laundry. And unloading the dishwasher. And feeding weird liquid mac ‘n cheese to the baby.

I can handle sick J. But I don’t handle sick J when I’m sick quite as gracefully as I’d like. So I might have snapped a few times at Husband and I may have started this blog post in a fit of rage wanting to slam Husband against a wall.

But then a miracle happened.

Husband came home. And he brought me Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. And ice cream. And more hot chocolate.

And all of a sudden I realized that yeah, I love him a lot. Even when he forgets to change J’s diaper. But if he brings J into bed with us again tonight, it’ll take more than Sherlock Holmes to fix it.

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  • ~*Jess*~

    I told you he was out getting you presents! LOL. I'm sorry you feel like crap. That's pretty much how it goes in my house. Mama is the keeper of all, even when she's puking/hacking a lung/sick.

    Feel better!

  • Blair@HeirtoBlair

    Let's talk about how much we love Sherlock. & how we want to naughty-hump him.

    & also, I am sorry you are sick.

  • Rebekah @ Mom-In-A-Million

    Whoa. Diaper change fail! It would ahve served him right if he'd wound up with a lap full of poop!

  • D

    You are way more forgiving than I would be. Hope you and J feel better soon!!!

  • KLZ

    Oh, yeah. I've totally been woken up by the baby being brought to bed. Because what I mean when I say "Can you handle it?" Is: "Please spare me the 30 seconds of effort required to go get him but you go to sleep while I'm up for the next 45 minutes."

    Because Daddy's tired. He needs his rest.

  • Victoria

    Hi,

    I'm giving away a 2 piece clothing set from Halo!

    You can choose any color or size (they range from 0-3 months to 24 months!)

    Come on over to my blog if you are interested to enter :)

    http://ourlifewithjake.blogspot.com/2010/06/halo-giveaway-and-review.html

  • Ali

    Hey we had a diaper issue last night! Our little one woke out of the blue while I was working out, hubs said he'd get her and get her back to bed, all I hear is crying while I am running, to cover my miles I speed up, and run to get her, turns out poop explosion, hubs said "I didn't smell it", duh! Check the stikning butt when she is crying!!!!
    Hope yo feel better soon and J too!

  • Anonymous

    How true, how true- there is a very different sense in how things get done. Must be a mom thing. Silly me always thought you need to take the baby monitor WITH you if you're outside the house working and the baby is INSIDE napping…. apparently my husband doesn't think so.

    He was "on duty" today when he got home from work. I think I wore him down about using the monitor, he got so exasperated (imagine my nerve to expect him to USE the monitor!) he got it and went outside to finish the chore he was working on.

    Um, the monitor only works effectively if the camera is actually ON the baby, not an empty crib (baby was in another part of the house napping where the video monitor was not) but enough with my nitpicking!

    Of course, as luck would have it, baby was a perfect angel for Dad,and he was able to get his chores done. At one point I contemplated jiggling the bouncy chair baby was sleeping in just enough to wake him up so dad could get a good dose of what it's like to be in the middle of something important (for him, the bathroom) when baby cranks up. Ah, a girl can dream!

  • LA @The Reel Family

    Your hubby and mine should be best friends. Mine is the same doesn't get it at all. At least mine learned his lesson after giving the baby the worst diaper rash ever for not changing him. A week of having to take him into the shower b/c the bum is so raw is not easily forgotten and now he is rock star about changing when I am gone.

  • Diana

    I read this entire thing to Sam after I was done. This kinda stuff somehow makes him really step up his game for the next few weeks. :)

    You are so much fun to read.

  • Janelle

    "Jungle Gym Mommy" is perhaps to most perfect description of a baby in bed with you. Hope you're feeling better, and the stink comes out of your pillow…

  • thenextmartha

    So true, so true. Nothing worse than having sick mom and kid at same time. Unless we're talking about the time when we all had the Swine flu at the same exact time. Anyways, you are always a joy to read. So real, so true, so sad, so loved.

  • metta1313

    I just got done being sick and was thinking so similar things…How b/c the hubs had to get up early I was the one getting up with abby and unable to fall back asleep b/c of the fire in my throat. And yeah, nobody taking care of me but needing to suck it up to take care of Abby. I think this is why I never remember my mom being sick growing up. B/c she just sucked it up and never let me know. That's what being a momma is all about.

  • Steph

    Those days are the worst. Mommy does not get a sick day and damned if we don't deserve them too! Plus just wait until your hubby gets sick and requires more care than the baby does when he's sick!

    I so feel your pain because I feel awful today. I don't know if it's allergies or if I'm getting sick but either way I want to crawl back in to bed and die and I can't. *sigh*

    Also? Hubby just came home to bring me a carpet cleaner I asked him to rent me and then he says "a supplier is taking us out to dinner so don't wait for me to eat". BLAH!

  • Creative Commons License
    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at http://www.law-momma.com.



  • I'm a divorced, single mom to a pre-schooler, a full-time attorney, and a semi-reluctant vegetarian. I work hard and when given the chance, I play hard... but I'm almost never given the chance.

    It's possible that I never outgrew 7th grade mentality, as I still laugh when anyone says anything that can be remotely construed as sexual. Let's face it, if you're not down with "That's what s/he said" at the end of almost any sentence, we're probably not going to get along all that well.

    I drink more than I should, I run more than I should, and I laugh as much as I can. So I'm pretty much winning at life.

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