Choose Your Own Adventure

Posted on | September 22, 2010 | No Comments

Every day I come home from work (obviously) and am faced with a choice. It’s like the world presents me with my very own Choose Your Own Adventure books. (side note… does anyone else remember those and if so, did you cheat like I always did?)

I come home and as soon as I walk through the door, the choosing begins. Do I:

a) Take the dog out
b) Put J in his highchair and feed him dinner
c) Juggle J while putting the leash on AJ and taking both outside
d) Put J in his highchair and give him some type of food to play with while I vacuum

For the sake of moving forward, let’s say I choose option C.

I hold J in one arm, balance the leash between my knees while coaxing AJ closer to the madness so I can clip the lead on to him. We then run outside with me saying “Gopeegopeegopee” over and over until it sounds like a sort of weird ritualistic chant. I run back inside to J and start to make him dinner. Husband comes home midway through J’s dinner and asks how my day was.  Husband changes clothes and gets J out of his high chair. Do I:

a) Give J a bath and then read him a story
b) have Husband give J a bath while I vacuum and then read J a story
c) have Husband give J a bath while I clean up dishes and/or eat my own dinner
d) Forego bath time and spend the next thirty minutes playing with J.

Up until now it’s all be fun and games but once J goes to bed the real choices begin. I have a limited amount of time between J’s 7:30 bed time and my standard 10:00 or earlier bed time. And the choices? Are endless. Do I:

a) clean the dishes in the sink
b) vacuum the nasty carpet
c) do all the mounds of laundry piled in the floor
d) ask Husband for the 9 billionth time to please, for the love of GOD, put his clean clothes in actual drawers
e) write a blog post
f) watch television
g) do catch up work for the office
h) make tomorrow’s lunch
i) clean the kitchen counter tops
j) clean the bathroom
k) take out the trash
l) balance the checkbook
m) catch up on facebook
n) dust
o) work out
p) read a book
q) clean out my car
r) et cetera, et cetera, et cetera…. 

You get the picture, right? Every night I’m faced with the choice of either maintaining my house and/or life in an orderly fashion, or maintaining my sanity. I can only choose house maintenance for so long before I totally lose my sanity and I can only choose sanity for so long before I totally lose it over how dirty the house is.

I can. not. win.

Meanwhile, I imagine Husband’s “choices” go a little something like this:

“I’m home from work. Do I take off my pants first or my shoes?”

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at http://www.law-momma.com.
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