Work With Me.

Posted on | October 23, 2010 | 11 Comments

My husband does a lot around the house. He really does. He is very good at helping out and doing things like laundry and dishes and even vacuuming.

So why am I even complaining? Well, because that’s what I do. And although he is good at helping out, it seems to only be when I flip my shitake and start acting like a crazy lady. Case in point… this morning. J has this keen internal alarm clock. Every morning between 6 and 6:30, he wakes up. Clockwork. And sadly, Husband and I trade off on who goes in to get him. I say sadly only because when Husband gets him, J will magically go back to sleep. But when I go get him? It’s apparently half past time to get up and he wants to pull my hair, climb all over me, and in general make sure that neither of us goes back to sleep.

So this morning was my turn. My in-laws are in town so I came home early from work so I could get the house in order yesterday. It wasn’t spotless by any account, but it was tidy. This morning when I came out of J’s room with him and went to make him breakfast?

Goodbye tidy house.

Husband stayed up last night and apparently used every dish in the house. There are dirty dishes in the sink. There are dirty dishes on the computer table. There are crumbs all. over. the counter. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? It takes five minutes to clean up after yourself. I can not stand getting up to a messy kitchen, especially when I went to bed with a clean one.

Why is it that most men seem to be lacking the “Work With Me” gene. They seem to understand the concept of doing what they are told but for some reason they just do not do things on their own. Do they not see the dishes? Why does it take me saying “There are dirty dishes in the sink” for Husband to acknowledge that there is a mess to clean up?

It’s frustrating. I don’t know how to ensure that J doesn’t grow up the same way. I think they all have selective vision.

Happy Saturday. I’m off to enforce cleanliness.


11 Responses to “Work With Me.”

  1. ~*Jess*~
    October 23rd, 2010 @ 12:44 pm

    Good luck today…

  2. Caroline
    October 23rd, 2010 @ 1:09 pm

    I feel ya. My husband is the SAME way. He's great if I ask him to do something, but why do I always have to ASK him? Couldn't he do something on his own for once?

  3. Suzanne
    October 23rd, 2010 @ 1:40 pm

    My husband has this thing about leaving "unnecessary" lights on in the house, but I think it's a ruse so he literally can. not. see. the crumbs and dirt. Because if he can't see them, the house is clean, right?

  4. Blair@HeirtoBlair
    October 23rd, 2010 @ 2:58 pm

    Here's what I tell Nate – it is INSULTING to me when he leaves dishes & a mess on the counter because what it says is that he expects me to clean up after him. There is no magic "dish fairy," so when he doesn't do his own dishes, it only leaves me. & I am not his maid.

    We have to have that talk about once every few months, but it sinks in…at least for a short while 🙂

  5. Jess
    October 23rd, 2010 @ 3:57 pm

    I know how you feel.
    My husband is the biggest procrastinator in the WORLD… he always has a "I'll do it later" mentality. I, on the other hand, like doing dishes right after we eat, cleaning up messes right after they happen, etc.
    I gave up battling him a long time ago. I do all the cleaning now!

  6. Kersten
    October 23rd, 2010 @ 10:14 pm

    I thought the y chormosome came with a "work with me" gene blocker and that is why my husband is unable to see crumbs anywhere.

  7. designHER Momma
    October 23rd, 2010 @ 11:30 pm

    I so deal with this too. But realizing what I'm up against? Has made me try to ignore it just a little, just to avoid a blowout.

  8. Jo
    October 24th, 2010 @ 2:23 am

    I hear ya! We talk – he changes for a day, or and hour, and right back to it. My new thing is IF you're going to leave dishes, will ya please rinse them off? There's not much I can do with post-2am-quesdilla cheese in the morning. Thanks a lot, hmph.

    I'm a new follower… thank your sis 🙂 Well, her, and that your blog is cool. Figures, genes work like that!

  9. Heather
    October 24th, 2010 @ 1:07 pm

    What bugs me about my husband is that he SEES things that can/should be addressed, and he CHOOSES to walk right by them and go to his computer and play more Star-Craft.

    For example, we have a mail-slot in our front-door, so when the mail comes in, you here a big metal CLANK and the sound of envelopes flopping on the floor. My husband can NEVER seem to be able to pick them up. It's like the mail is covered in some kind of toxic material that requires hazmat suits or a gas mask to handle.

    The worst is that on Fridays, he works from home. So when the mail comes mid-morning/early-afternoon, he must walk by the mail on the floor 5 times a day! He can't NOT see it. But when I come home with Rebecca at the end of the day? Yep… still sitting there.

  10. Heather
    October 24th, 2010 @ 1:09 pm

    P.S. Jess — I'm totally with you on the dishes! Sometimes I'll just start doing them because I don't want them sitting and getting all crusty, and he'll hear the water go on and say "Hey, I was GOING to do those", in that poor 'i was gonna help, really i was!' voice.

  11. Eliza
    October 24th, 2010 @ 3:51 pm

    Ugh, my husband is the same way. It drives me batshit crazy!!! I am also one of those people who can't relax until the house is at least tidy….it doesn't have to spotless, eat off the floors clean, but at least tidy.
    When my husband complains about sex, I tell him that a clean hous eis like porn. If he wants me to stop cleaning and pay attention to him, then he should clean the damn house!

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