Gimme a break….

Posted on | October 25, 2010 | 24 Comments

I’m feeling very run down these days.

Not sad. Not depressed. Not necessarily exhausted… just run down.

And it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, this is because for the last 14 months, I’ve been on constant alert. I haven’t taken a break. I haven’t gone on vacation. I haven’t done anything to give myself any relief whatsoever from this “second” job of mine.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand that having a child is a full time job. But just like every other full time job, vacations are necessary. You can’t just work 365 days a year, every year, for the rest of your life. It’s not possible. It’s not reasonable.

And so it is with a semi-heavy heart that I make this announcement….

I need a break from my child.

It makes me feel bad to type that because, as you know, I have this ridiculous desire to be perfect at all times and in every aspect of my life. But it’s true. I need a break. I need a few days off.

Maybe all moms don’t feel this way. Maybe there are some moms who will think “My God, how could she SAY that? That’s her CHILD. Doesn’t she get a break every day from 8 – 5:30?” And yes, I suppose I technically do get a break … and if I were filling that space with lunches with friends, trips to the spa, gym work outs, and maybe a shopping spree here and there, perhaps I wouldn’t feel this way.

But researching the law, calling people who don’t really want to talk to me, and pouring through medical records about some guy’s prostate problems is not exactly the break I am talking about. I need a break from both. I need a “real” weekend. Where I get to lay around the house and watch crappy tv and drink wine and read books that don’t rhyme.

I need a break.

Comments

24 Responses to “Gimme a break….”

  1. Caitlin
    October 25th, 2010 @ 12:32 pm

    Amen, sister!!!

  2. Ms. Diva
    October 25th, 2010 @ 12:35 pm

    Sometimes one does need a break. And that's ok. You need to stop being so hard on yourself. Grandmas were made for breaks! Enjoy, he will still be your kid afterwards and he will probably enjoy having a happier mama around!

  3. HarmSkills
    October 25th, 2010 @ 12:53 pm

    take a sunday afternoon, get a pedi, go shopping, meet a girl friend for lunch (or go and treat yourself solo) or just go for a walk. i try to do something like this once a week and it makes a BIG difference!

  4. Emily
    October 25th, 2010 @ 1:04 pm

    Yes! I am in 100% agreement. Our sons are super close and age and I feel like I haven't gotten a break either. I totally understand!

  5. Mama Fisch
    October 25th, 2010 @ 1:08 pm

    Can I please come join you? I am right there with you. I will bring the wine!

  6. Mrs. MidAtlantic
    October 25th, 2010 @ 1:20 pm

    I did that this weekend. Hubby was away. Laura was with grandparents. It was AMAZING!!

  7. MrsPatterson
    October 25th, 2010 @ 1:29 pm

    I totally get this! Even when I get "me" time, I always am going somewhere to get away. I would love to just have the house all to myself for a day, with no one around and no worry that anyone will be coming home. I would sleep in, watch my DVR, and preferably spend the day in complete silence.

  8. ~*Jess*~
    October 25th, 2010 @ 1:31 pm

    Ha! Break from the kid from 8-5:30 my ass! Totally not. If I was napping all day and then out doing fun stuff, it would be. Sitting in my office? Not so much.

    But YES you need a break. You need to relax. You need mindless sometimes.

  9. Caroline
    October 25th, 2010 @ 1:33 pm

    Good for you. Take a break. We *finally* scheduled a weekend with Grandma for my thirteen month old next weekend (the one after Halloween of course) and Husband and I are counting down while trying to figure out what we will do besides sleep late and um, cuddle. Yeah. Cuddle. So schedule you some "you" time and hopefully a little husband time too, and don't feel one bit guilty. That's what grandmas are for.

  10. Heather
    October 25th, 2010 @ 1:42 pm

    Seriously, are you sure you aren't living my life in an alternate universe?

    I was literally crying on the phone to my mom last night because I was just so wiped out and exhausted and just feeling like I need to get away from everything and everyone (including my daughter). I had taken care of her pretty much on my own on Saturday, then took my daughter to a "bridesmaid" lunch with my girlfriends on Sunday, and I put her down for a nap when we got home mid-afternoon, which she promptly REFUSED.

    My husband finally was able to help and he took her to the park and wanted me to come, but I just did NOT want to go. I wanted to curl up on my bed and do NOTHING.

    And then of course I felt GUILTY. I should *want* to take my girl to the park with her dad. I should *want* to spend all the time in the world with her. I had the exact same thought about how I get a break 3 days a week when I'm at work, and I shouldn't be complaining.

    Then I see my friend planning her honeymoon to Hawaii (where my hubby and I were planning on vacationing before I got pregnant), my company rewarding their top employees with an all-expense paid trip to the Bahamas (an award I won last year, but couldn't go on because I had a 4 week old baby), and I was just crying and feeling like a horrible person at the same time.

    I really do love my daughter, more than anything, but I really want a vacation from everything. A True vacation…

    Ugh I'm a horrible person… the cycle continues… lol

  11. Mae
    October 25th, 2010 @ 2:12 pm

    leaving P overnight with the inlaws on Saturday night through Sunday morning was AH.MAY.ZING.

    Take a break. you'll be better for it.

  12. Lisa
    October 25th, 2010 @ 2:16 pm

    You definitley need some "you" time! Bless your heart, I know exactly how you feel! I wish we actually knew each other and I could keep your little one and give you a break. I need breaks as well and sometimes I just have to call a friend, and say hey, can you watch the girls for a little while? They are usually quick to help because they understand, although they don't work, they understand what I go through everyday, with commuting, work, the kids, their school, etc. I usually will just go to the grocery store or take a long nap. I so completely understand EXACTLY how you feel! Huge Hugs!!!!

  13. KLZ
    October 25th, 2010 @ 3:49 pm

    I think that filtering your brain to wear all the different hats needed is a big part of why you need the break.

    Or can afford to consider making it a possibility.

  14. Blair@HeirtoBlair
    October 25th, 2010 @ 3:57 pm

    You need it, girl. Take a break.

    The one thing I'm having to learn? To ask for a break. To say to Nate, "I need two hours to get out of here." & then doing it.

  15. Mrs. Trophy Wife
    October 25th, 2010 @ 4:02 pm

    This kind of made me tear up because you know what? I absolutely, 100%, agree with you. I adore Sullivan and love him more than I ever dreamed possible. But sometimes? I just want a damn break. I want to be able to shower without him pulling on the curtain. And I want to be able to pee without him wanting to stand up and hold onto my knees. I want to be able to read a damn book.

    :sigh:

    I feel ya, sister. And if you need a break, come on over! I'd love to have you for a wine night 🙂

  16. Stephanie Doyle
    October 25th, 2010 @ 7:29 pm

    I hear ya! Anything brewing on the horizon??

  17. Jess
    October 25th, 2010 @ 7:54 pm

    I think every mama needs a break sometime. Perhaps plan a little day trip with some friends? If you can trust the husband or the babysitter alone with Baby J 🙂

  18. molly
    October 25th, 2010 @ 8:18 pm

    Oh honey, YES! We all need a break from our kids and contrary to popular belief working does NOT constitute a break!

    I give the side-eye to any mother who says they can't be away from their child. Really? REALLY?

    I cannot WAIT to take a vacation sans children. Not only do I think it would be fun to reconnect with my hubby but it is a necessity!

    Traveling is what I miss most. Our last vacation was September 2007 before I got pregnant with my first son. We're planning on going somewhere in a year for our 5-year anniversary and I CAN.NOT.WAIT!

    TMI, but I can't wait to have sex without fear of waking the baby 🙂

  19. Raising Madison
    October 26th, 2010 @ 12:19 am

    you need & deserve a break. take one!

  20. Busy Working Mama
    October 26th, 2010 @ 12:29 am

    Take it, girl, if you can! My daughter just turned 3 and we've yet to be without her. I'm oK with that…but sometimes, I've love just ONE day of how things used to be. Of hours spent in bed…just relaxing and enjoying time spend in bed, enjoying each other 🙂 I love being a mom…but I also love (and miss!) being a woman.

  21. Jo
    October 26th, 2010 @ 4:10 am

    Yep. Yep. yep.
    I SAH, with a little graduate school to keep me sane (or not!), so having a break… WOW! I just enrolled my kiddo (our sons are the same age, I just discovered) in playcare 3 days a week, for 3hrs. While mainly I do school work and re-organize "junk" drawers that haven't been touched in ages, one day last week I just layed on the sofa and watched Project Runway. For two hours. With no distractions. Oh Mah Gah. Wine would've been better, but it was only 10am. 🙂

  22. Jamie
    October 26th, 2010 @ 11:36 am

    I completely agree! Just b/c we work outside of the home doesn't mean we don't need "me" time too. I think my husband is coming to realize it, so now I go to the gym 3-4 evenings a week to unwind. Granted, most of the time I wait until the kiddos are in bed, but its nice to drive by myself to the gym and work it out. And we try and get the grandparents to watch the kids every few months overnight for a nice date night!

  23. Andrea
    October 27th, 2010 @ 12:35 am

    I feel the same way! The last 12 months of my life have been completely dedicated to my child and trying to balance new-motherhood and a part-time job that involves travel…I feel so guilty for feeling this way, but I'm starting to realize that if I don't take care of myself, then I can't take proper care of my daughter.

    I was just starting to feel less guilt for feeling this way, and a 96-year-old patient at work went on a rant to tell me how she doesn't understand working moms, that she never left her children, she raised them and that was her job. That didn't help the guilt factor any….

    Somehow, I think that dads don't feel this kind of guilt – it's definitely a "mom thing".

  24. Kara
    October 31st, 2010 @ 10:33 pm

    All moms need a break every now and then. The truth is kids need a break from us to. They need to learn to trust others and to know their needs will still be met. The sad truth is, I'm not as awesome as I think I am (though still pretty awesome), and my eldest figured that out the first weekend she spent with my mom and discovered ice cream for dinner.

    Here is something else…when you find out you're pregnant the mom guilt sets in. The only relief is death? So given the alternative, just learn to know guilt is inevitable and enjoy it…it means you're alive to feel it.

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at http://www.law-momma.com.
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