Sisters, Sisters…

Posted on | October 30, 2010 | 5 Comments

Most of you know, if you read this blog, that I have a sister. Not only do I have a sister, I have an awesome sister. I have a sister who makes me sad that other women don’t have sisters. She is so damn… eco-friendly. Honestly. She composts. She has chickens. She has a gigantic herb and vegetable garden in her yard. And oh yeah? She keeps freaking bees.

Her kids are vegetarian and say things like “No thank you, pigs are my friend” if you offer them sausage.

She used to run an herb store and now is training to be a full on herbalist.

In short? She is everything I am not.

When we were kids she and I were pretty close. As close as you could be to someone who you worshiped and feared simultaneously. She could drive me absolutely, full on, bat shit crazy with four little words: “You. Are. A. Frog.”

She would turn me into a frog and tell me that everyone else saw me as a frog but were too sad to tell me because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings. It was awful. I would stomp around the house screaming I AM NOT A FROG and she would follow along behind me, with a smirk, saying “Yes. you. are. Ribbit. Ribbit.”

Things didn’t always go in her favor, though, I was a biter. And a scratcher. I would resort to physical violence the way politicians resort to rhetoric. It was my safe place. I could always win in a death match. My sister never did learn that fact when we were kids. She always thought I’d give… I do not give in. One time she dared me to bite her big toe. She shoved it in my face and dared me.

I bit the crap out of her foot.

Guess who got punished? Me. But whatever, she dared me. And put her foot in my face. So I stand by my decision.

As we got older, she became less of a torture device and more aloof. She barely paid me any attention at all when we were teenagers. I would have written sonnets to her just for three words that didn’t start and end with “Are you ready? Let’s go.” But that’s how it works, I guess. When you’re sisters. We were so very different.

I played sports. I was on student council. She was too cool for both. She listened to The Graetful Dead and spent a summer following them around the country before Jerry Garcia died. My first concert was Boyz II Men.

She was always the coolest person I never knew when we were teens. I wanted to be like her. I wanted her to like me. I just wanted us to have something in common… something we could talk about… something that made us resemble the sisters I saw in the movies or on television.

And then we grew up. When I was in college, she was always the first person I called when something interesting happened. She was who I turned to for advice about, well, everything. Because she was my sister. And she’d inevitably been there and done that.

When she was pregnant with my nephew, I was in law school. She called me early in the morning and said “Did I wake you up? Good. I’m pregnant.” There was no beating around the bush. There was just… my sister. When she went into labor and had my adorable and wonderfully sweet and smart nephew, my mother called me with the news. She passed the phone to my sister and we were both crying. Because at the end of the day? At the end of every day, no one else will ever understand me… or I her… better. Despite our differences, my Doo Dah and I have so much in common. We grew up together. We have seen each other at our worst and celebrated each other at our best.

On December 26th, when I woke up and took a pregnancy test and found out we were expecting, the sequence of events went something like this: “Husband! We’re pregnant. Can I call my sister?” When J came into the world, my sister came the very next weekend. He was jaundiced so we had to keep him under the Bili Rubin blue lights 24 hours a day… and that meant pulling all-nighters to watch him. As tired as I was, my very favorite memory of those first few days was the night my sister and I sat up, drinking tea, talking about life, and watching my brand new son fight off the jaundice. Because she’s my sister. She’s my rock. She’s the person who gets me when no one else does.

We don’t live close together. In fact, I used to joke that we got along better when there were several states between us. But I don’t think that’s the case any more. I think that having our kids brought us so very very close… closer than we were even as kids. She can still silence me with a word. She still has a mean streak. But she’s my sister… and she’s the coolest person I know.

Happy birthday, Doo Dah. (a day late) Thanks for being the kind of sister they SHOULD make movies about.


5 Responses to “Sisters, Sisters…”

  1. amy
    October 30th, 2010 @ 2:39 pm

    Well my goodness…a whole post that has to do with me. i am blushing. 😉

    You're sweet and i love you. And i did even when you got on my nerves back in the day.

    Also? i am not cool enough (or quite old enough) to have followed the dead with Jerry. I went when they played together after he died. But i DID see them play with him, just didn't tour then. Probably i should let it slide so i seem cooler but oh well!

    and two last things…i can't believe you found that sisters on video!! Its even seasonally appropriate (almost).

    And your first concert was actually Kenny Rogers, as was mine. Remember?

  2. Valery
    October 30th, 2010 @ 11:54 pm

    I just stumbled over to your blog and I am loving it. I wish my blog was this good and that I could write like you. I will be back and thank you for such great reading.

  3. erobell
    October 31st, 2010 @ 2:48 pm

    Wow – that was moving and beautiful. I wish I could know the two of you better.

    My sister is a non-vegetarian, non-composting, non-Doo Dah kind of person but she too is my rock.

    Even though she is four years my junior, she is amazing and I thank my lucky stars that she is a part of my life.

    Thank you for sharing your lovely words about a such a special relationship.

    You are a stunning writer!!

  4. cltuptownmom
    October 31st, 2010 @ 3:21 pm

    Love this post! So sweet. Happy Belated Bday to your sis! Always wanted a sister. Love my brother, but thought it would be so cool to have a sister… A unique bond like no other!

  5. ~*Jess*~
    October 31st, 2010 @ 4:28 pm

    Aww I love this. I wish I had a sister like that.

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