True Confessions

Posted on | November 4, 2010 | 16 Comments

I am not supermom.

I know, that doesn’t really come as a huge surprise but I felt like I needed to just let it all out today. There are things I do not do that I should do. There are things that I do that I should not do. And sometimes I paint a glossy picture of all I’m accomplishing on here and I don’t think that’s very fair to everyone else who is wondering “What the … what am I doing WRONG?” And the answer is? Probably nothing. But maybe some things. Okay, yeah. We’re all doing stuff wrong. I have issues with working “tedious” cleaning into the mix. The vacuuming? I can do that. The dusting? Okay, sure. But some of the other stuff, I’m embarrassed to say, does not fare so well. So here it is… my True Confessions:

1. I do not wipe down the high chair after every use. I know that rationally I should do that because of the whole, I don’t know, cleanliness factor. But in the mornings when I’m hauling ass just to get myself and  J fed, dressed and out the door? Sorry. There are dried bananas on the seat when I come home. And in the evenings? I’m not much better. It’s only about every few days that I realize “GAH! I’m a terrible mom. This seat is a disaster.” And then I clean it. With bleach. (It’s high chair safe, promise!)

2. I forget to clean J’s bathtub sometimes. OMG I shudder just writing that. Last night I went to run his bath water and the thought occurred to me When, oh when did I last scrub this tub? And I couldn’t remember. So I got thoroughly grossed out, put J in his dirty high chair, and scrubbed the tub. But not the shower part… just the tub. Because, come on.

3. I keep a box of organic banana cookies in the car and I use them to bribe my kid into silence on our 20+ minute commute. Some days it’s a one cookie day. Others? I lose count. Slacker parenting, for the WIN!

4. I have changed J’s diaper and forgotten to put it in the diaper genie. All day long. And then at night time I was all “What in the hell smells like … oh. Poop. Awesome.” Because I suck at remembering the big, important things. LIKE CLEANLINESS.

5. There is a pile of clean clothes that keeps moving from our bed to our dresser because both Husband and I are convinced it is the other’s turn to fold the laundry and put it away. So it moves to the dresser at night so I can get in bed and it moves to the bed in the morning because Husband gets annoyed with it on the dresser. This has been going on for three days now. I’m pretty sure the clothes need to be rewashed at this point. 

6. This weekend I ran my car through one of those car washes? You know, the ones where you don’t actually have to talk to anyone or get out of your car? And I picked the best of the best wash because my car is… an abomination to Corollas everywhere. And as I cruised through the pressure wash and all that other jazz I was all proud of myself for taking this small step towards cleaning the car. And then when I got home? I realized my car was so filthy that running it through that car wash was like taking a one of those poor children they show on the UNICEF commercials and letting him jump through a sprinkler. Once.  Without soap. The car wash made my car angry and did NOTHING other than smear a little bit of dirt around in a pattern that I’m fairly sure is hieroglyphics for “Why do you hate me so much?”

There are a lot of other things but I have a freaking novel to write so that’s all I’m sharing for now. Judge away… I already judge myself. But we all have to cut some corners here and there… I’m working on making my corner cutting a little less disgusting but, let’s face it, nobody is perfect. Least of all me. Because on top of all that above? Right now there is a cardboard box sitting at my front door that has trash in it. Trash that *someone* was supposed to take out this morning. Rather than taking it out myself, I have moved it to the front door. It’s like Raymond’s suitcase now. I will NOT move it.

Ah, the life of a all the time sometimes never filthy working mother.


16 Responses to “True Confessions”

  1. ~*Jess*~
    November 4th, 2010 @ 1:42 pm

    Honey, my car has bird shit on it that's been there a week. Not the run of the mill on your hood or roof stuff, it's on my damn driver's window. Yeah. That's pathetic.

    As for the tub? We won't talk about tubs because we've already discussed the cleaning a bathroom because it makes you want to vomit while you try to gag. Not gagging? No need to clean 🙂

    When I go to friends' houses I think, WOW! Your house is awesome. If you dropped by mine? You'd be grossed out.

  2. Kim
    November 4th, 2010 @ 2:37 pm

    You're seriously not coming down on yourself b/c you can't do all this stuff AND work outside the house, right?? B/c I'm a SAHM and those things? All happen here. Yupper. Thank GOD I had a dog when the kids were babies or the floor and high chair would NEVER have been clean. HONEST. The only time that high chair was ever clean, on a regular basis, was when I had one child, who was so easy she lulled us into having another, and I stayed at home. Then I cleaned it b/c I really had the time. But after life got real? NEVER. EVER. Enter the dog. So go easy on yourself.

  3. WTH am I Doing?
    November 4th, 2010 @ 3:42 pm

    My philosophy is this – my kid & my husband come first. After that? My job…because no matter how often I pay them? The stupid bills keep coming. Every month. Regular like.

    In maintaining my relationship with my family, that sometimes means that I choose to spend some quality time with my husband after the kids go to bed rather than doing dishes, cleaning bathrooms, etc. Things get clean, when they need to. But there is clutter.

    And that is a choice I make. Because while I'd love to live in an immaculate home? It is more important to me to maintain a quality relationship with my family, as well as still having time to take care of myself.

  4. Jayme
    November 4th, 2010 @ 3:47 pm

    You're supposed to clean the tub? I mean, don't they sit in it with clean soapy water, and therefore it gets clean by default without doing anything?

  5. Suzanne
    November 4th, 2010 @ 5:10 pm

    So, my husband is in charge of bathtime most nights and a couple weeks ago he called me up and pointed out a weird rash Evan had behind his knees and ankles. And I was like, huh, I dunno, but it looks sort of like he's allergic to something.

    And then I looked in the baby tub (we still use the baby tub because our tub is HUGE).

    It was GROSS. There was visible mildew growing on it. And when I asked husband when the last time he cleaned it was he said…NEVER. OMG.

    So his (our) poor parenting/cleaning skills gave our kid a rash. Awesome, right?

    As for the rest of it? Yeah, I all those things too. Only I don't even work.

  6. Raising Madison
    November 4th, 2010 @ 5:28 pm

    Umm, you're supposed to wash the high chair down every time they eat? I wipe down the tray… does that count. I'm always surprised and somewhat grossed out when I take the cover off and find all of the food under her seat.

    I stay at home with her and if I did all those things you said all the time I would feel like all I was doing was cleaning up after her. And you work OUTSIDE of the house.

    Trust me, other people are just as gross as you think you are 🙂

  7. Nicci @ Changing the Universe
    November 4th, 2010 @ 6:46 pm

    You clean your high chair once a day?? I rely on my DOG to clean the chunks off. The rest are just details. Although I did take a good look at it this morning and HOLY BALLS is it FILTHY!

    Also, I love you more than words right now. Is it weird that I love reading blogs like this because it makes me feel less alone in my filthy high chair world?

  8. KLZ
    November 4th, 2010 @ 8:06 pm

    I could have written this post, I swear. It's almost eerie.

    Except I get mad when my husband yells at me to put a dirty diaper in the diaper genie upstairs rather than the garbage can on the floor we're on. Dude, I empty the trash cans. You dislike the stink, you change the diaper.

    Jesus, I totally suck at housework.

  9. WeeMasonMan's Mom
    November 4th, 2010 @ 9:28 pm

    Huh, I totally didn't know I was supposed to clean the baby tub. He hasn't pooped in it? And I run hot water through it to rinse it out before and after every bath. It needs a real solo scrubbing? Crap. #fail

  10. Eliza
    November 4th, 2010 @ 10:03 pm

    Gosh, I love how you keep it real. I love the migrating pile of clothes…this is soooo me and my husband. It's ridiculous!

    I also have a migrating pile of lost sigular socks that I keep hoping will some how finds their mates again.

  11. Eliza
    November 4th, 2010 @ 10:03 pm

    also, a banana cookie…really? YOu think that's bad??????? I give my kids bites of my ice cream!

  12. Facie
    November 5th, 2010 @ 1:50 am

    I wish blogs existed when I was a new mom (or maybe they did but I just did not know it; I live in Pittsburgh and we are several years behind the times). I beat myself up about many things, not realizing that most moms do not have it as together as the rest of us mere mortals think.

    I am so much more laid back (for me, anyway) and less stressed out thanks to reading what other moms think, say, and do. Thank you (and many others) for that!

    November 5th, 2010 @ 2:41 am

    1. There is two week old cereal under my kids little table.
    2. There is mold in my shower (
    3. They're organic banana – it's health food. I use lollipops.
    4. When my diaper genie is full, I just put it on top, when you can't flip it – defeats the purpose.
    5. Clothes: Bed, chair, floor
    6. We're supposed to wash cars?

    You're doing amazing! You're working full time, taking care of a little one and writing a novel! If the clothes are out, it's easier to get dressed 😉

  14. Sara
    November 5th, 2010 @ 5:07 pm

    OK. The last time I full on cleaned the high chair was when he had an explosive poop while sitting in it.

    The rest of the time? Dog eats the crumbs and the tray gets wiped.

  15. Anonymous
    November 18th, 2010 @ 12:50 am

    A little late to the party, but as a lawyer mom I can somewhat relate.
    My kids do not bathe every day. Honestly, I'm happy if it's 2x a week.
    It never occurred to me to clean the high chair every day.
    I refuse to wash the car. Of course, my DH is obsessive about it, so it still gets cleaned.

    It's all good.

  16. Shelley
    December 10th, 2010 @ 6:06 pm

    I was recently introduced to your blog and I cannot stop reading… hence the comment a month later than the post.

    I am a full time working insurance agent mom. I am jealous of your commute. I drive 32 miles and it takes atleast an hour. AND I don't live in the city. Our county is very rural.

    I'm going to clean the bathtub when I get home tonight because I can't remember when I did it last.

    I'm pretty sure my mom has small heart failures when she comes to my dirty house since her house is clean to the nines.

    I refuse to do the dishes more than once every other day so chances are you will see dirty dishes in my sink and… I. Don't. Care.

    I haven't washed a car in years. That's husband's job.

    Laundry is a never-ending battle. I washed all of our clothes and just therew them in baskets two weeks ago. I finally folded them and put them away Sunday. Now the laundry is piled up in the closet again and I can barely walk in there.

    I'm so over chores. If you come to my house expect it to be dirty and expect me not to care.

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