The World of Dad Logic and other magical realms

Posted on | November 10, 2010 | 8 Comments

Tomorrow, my blog is being taken over by a worthy cause… seriously. Parenthood For Me is guest blogging on her non-profit organization that is doing amazing thing for adoptive parents. And I don’t want to detract from her day at all so I’m posting this tonight.

I’m in a quandary.

As a mother, I feel this over-reaching need to be there for my son. All the time. You know this about me because you probably picked that up through… um… a few posts here and there. But I also have a commitment to my employer and on several occasions (read: EVERY STINKING DAY) those two things go head-to-head in an all out Rock ’em Sock ’em Robot match in my brain.

Today is no different.

Except that it is. Today, I have made it clear that tomorrow is an Employer day. I have a commitment. I have not one but two places to be. I will be spending 6 hours in a car. It’s a day where I have to put my employer first. And that’s where the quandary comes in.

Is it just me, or does it seem inevitable that any time you have a DEFINITE Employer day as a working mother, something will always go wrong. My “go wrong” in this occasion is in the form of seriously nasty drainage from my son’s left ear.

You may remember that my darling boy had tubes put in back in late August. The doctor (and like five million other people) told me that if he got another ear infection, I would know. They said it just like that…  “Oh, you’ll know.” So tonight, when I was playing with J after work, I noticed this aforementioned grossness leaking from his ear. It’s gross. It’s like watery, brownish-creamish earwax. You vomiting yet?

So I look at Husband and say “Uh oh…. I think he’s getting an ear infection.”

Enter. the. quandary.

There is a fine line between Bossy and Irresponsible. I have a hard time walking that line because I am bossy by nature when it comes to my kid. And I don’t want to be bossy towards my husband over every little thing because it undermines his authority as a parent and it makes him question his ability to handle things. So I’m trying to walk the line when I say “You are probably going to need to take him to the doctor tomorrow…”

Husband’s response was not what I was hoping for. In his defense, Husband missed several hours of work today because he had a doctor’s appointment of his own. And he is technically correct that without a fever, J can still go to daycare. But come on, right? We’re moms here. We don’t understand this logic. This is what I call dad-logic. It’s the same “logic” that says it’s okay to let J play quietly in his room out of Dad’s line of sight.

In mom’s world? This logic doesn’t fly so well.

So I’m in this quandary. Do I put my foot down? Do I flat out insist that husband take J to the doctor and hopefully nip this in the bud before the poor kid gets a full on ear infection? Do I let husband make this decision because it’s technically HIS day to take care of J?

Because as much as I’d like to call my boss and say I’m out of commission tomorrow because my son needs me… I’d also very much like to have a job when I get up on Thursday morning. I just don’t understand Dad Logic… no matter how hard I try.


8 Responses to “The World of Dad Logic and other magical realms”

  1. Kim
    November 10th, 2010 @ 12:41 am

    I hear everything you are saying. But he goes to the doctor. I'd totally go all bossy on my husband. So I hear you!

  2. Jennifer
    November 10th, 2010 @ 1:37 am

    Alright. You probably won't like this.

    Bud had tubes back in Feb '09 and he gets that drainage sometimes and it really is just earwax. It seems to me (and some other moms I have talked to whose kids have tubes) that they just naturally have more drainage. I would clean his ears and see how he is doing in the morning. If he isn't fussy and he isn't running a fever I would totally take him to school. Just let them know what is going on and ask them to watch him and if he starts running a fever to call Daddy to come get him.

    I'm way more laid back with no. 2 and I've realized that kids don't always need to be rushed to the doctor right away, unless it is croup. Croup can turn on you so fast that you won't know what happened. But a potential ear infection? In my opinion that can totally wait.

  3. Sissy
    November 10th, 2010 @ 2:16 am

    Is there any way you can call the dr and see if they will just call you in something. My son has had ear problems for YEARS!He is 13 and just busted his ear drum again just by knocking heads with someone else. The poor thing would tell me at the age of 2 that he had an "impexion". Good luck!

  4. Stephanie Doyle
    November 10th, 2010 @ 4:15 am

    I hear ya! I would probably let your husband call the shots tomorrow. If he thinks your son is fine going to daycare, then let him make that call. 🙂 That is advice easier said than done.

    P.S. Love following you on twitter!

  5. Emmie Bee
    November 10th, 2010 @ 5:58 am

    I'd say it's Dad's call. And if it turns out that it is an ear infection you'll have ammo for the next time. 🙂

  6. ~*Jess*~
    November 10th, 2010 @ 2:49 pm

    Quick question even though it's too late, didn't they send you home with antibiotic ear drops? They sent us home with them and told us we could begin dosing if another ear infection came on and we should call ENT as a heads up but that would be fine.

    Hope he's better!

  7. Delia
    November 10th, 2010 @ 3:31 pm

    As much as I'd want to either stay home or insist on a doctors visit – I would send the boy to daycare. Then take him to the doctor on Thursday. Do you have the option for an after-hours clinic? Then you and Husband can both work, but still get to see a doctor in the evening. Good luck either way!

  8. Heather
    November 11th, 2010 @ 1:40 am

    I'd see how he is feeling in the AM, but if your gut is telling you that something is right, and he is ACTING like something isn't right, then I'd trust your mom-instincts and insist…

    But I am always blunt w/my husband, which sometimes comes off as bitchiness…

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