Suit up, Law Momma.

Posted on | November 18, 2010 | 13 Comments

I would love to tell you all about something more exciting than what I have to say today. But someone in my Atlanta office thinks I’m competent enough to be handling a Magistrate Court case today so I’m off to court. In my pretty dress and snazzy shoes. I hope the judge is impressed.

I hope my client shows up.

Secretly? I hope the other guy doesn’t show up so I can just go have lunch with my husband and pretend to be a huge success in the court room.

Going to court makes me sick. Seriously. I don’t mean that in a “Ew, it’s boring and annoying” kind of way. I mean it physically makes me sick. If I were to become a trial lawyer, I would be the Calista Flockhart of Georgia attorneys.  I can’t eat. I get all … rumbly in my tumbly. And to top it all off, I get splotchy. Like REALLY splotcy. Distractingly splotchy. One time a judge of a moot court competition (I won’t name names, Carol) told me that I should work on my splotchiness because it was distracting to the judges. And that was helpful because I thought the splotchy was an awesome addition but now that I know it’s not, I’ll just stop doing it. Curse you, fair skin and Irish ancestry! So I’m going to be this tall, red-headed splotchy behemoth, spouting out legal terms and hoping to God I neither call myself “the Court” nor drop all my paperwork in a messy pile on the floor. And I hope I remember to be properly respectful to the judge. 

So anyway, right around 10 o’clock today I am strapping on my big girl shoes, carrying my pretty and shiny Beijo briefcase that makes me feel all Elle Woods meets Atticus Finch, and defending the heck out of some poor girl who got sued. And if you need me before then? I’ll be in the bathroom. You know, “getting ready.”


13 Responses to “Suit up, Law Momma.”

  1. Raising Madison
    November 18th, 2010 @ 2:07 pm

    good luck you'll do GREAT

  2. stark. raving. mad. mommy.
    November 18th, 2010 @ 2:09 pm

    Kick ass, Law Momma.

  3. Dre
    November 18th, 2010 @ 2:33 pm

    Good luck! I totally hate court too. Two times a year is waaay too many.

  4. KLZ
    November 18th, 2010 @ 2:58 pm

    Good luck!!

    I'm over here commiserating by working on my smart mouth. I just can't help it.

  5. Carrie
    November 18th, 2010 @ 3:14 pm

    I get the same way right before one of my organizations meetings…there's just so much that can go wrong, it always freaks me out! Good luck today, I hope you get it over with quick and get that lunch!

  6. Suz
    November 18th, 2010 @ 3:21 pm

    Good luck! I'm sure you'll be fine!

  7. mae
    November 18th, 2010 @ 3:55 pm

    Good Luck!!

  8. Danielle
    November 18th, 2010 @ 4:20 pm

    Don't worry. Magistrate court in Atlanta is not so scary once you've been there one or twice. It's actually kind of amusing. I spent my entire summer doing cases down there. You'll be great!

  9. Anonymous
    November 18th, 2010 @ 5:04 pm

    Good luck! I am go to court 2x's a month….and I am still nervous every time. The butterflys never go away….and in a way I don't think they should.

  10. Jennifer
    November 18th, 2010 @ 5:44 pm

    I would think court would be the funnest part. LOL

  11. ~*Jess*~
    November 18th, 2010 @ 6:01 pm

    This is why I don't litigate. I prefer to be a hardass by phone. Much less pressure.

    Hope it went well!

  12. Mommy Attorney
    November 18th, 2010 @ 7:08 pm

    The splotchiness didn't stop you from kicking ass in moot court so it won't stop you in real court either. I am jealous of your fancy shoes and Beijo bag.

  13. legallyinsanemommy
    November 19th, 2010 @ 4:37 pm

    How'd it go?

    Me – I'd much prefer to be in court than reading, or worse yet, drafting some horribly long contract. Blech.

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