McFatty Monday

Posted on | January 24, 2011 | 5 Comments

Sometimes, you just have to tell the scale no thanks.  You have to give that beast the side eye and know in your heart that if you stepped on that scale, it would win. It would destroy you.

That was me this morning. I walked into the bathroom, disrobed, and started to step on the scale. My week flashed before my eyes: brownies for breakfast, a peppermint chocolate milkshake from chick-fil-a, airport beer to pass the time until my flight… MAGGIANO’S for christ’s sake. All of that flashed against my closed lids and I made the executive decision to stay off the scale. I couldn’t face the number. I couldn’t face what I had done to my body throughout the week. So instead of hopping on the scale, I hopped into the shower and pushed the diet out of my mind.

I couldn’t face it this morning.

I know I failed last week. I know that I did not take care of my body the way I should. I know that I didn’t do much right. And I could make a load of excuses. I could say that the fact that I’m in debilitating pain and on hydrocodone is the reason I failed. I could say that traveling up to Atlanta made everything more difficult. I could say that I just needed all that nasty food.

But the truth is? I let myself down last week. I knew what the right choices were. I knew what I should have eaten and what I should not drink. But you know how some people, after a tough day, say they need to hit the gym? You know how some people work off the steam by running on a treadmill or doing pilates? That’s not me. I end a tough day thinking “I could use a chocolate fudge pie with cool whip on top” and not “I could totally benefit from a good gym session.”

I’d like to be the person who picks the gym over the refrigerator. I’d like to become that girl… the one who says “Man. What a rough day. I think I’ll sweat it out on the treadmill.” But for now, I’m just not that girl. Making that choice is so. stinking. hard.

Because honestly? A slice of chocolate fudge pie with cool whip on the top tastes a damn sight better and takes a lot less time ,too. But I’ll keep working on becoming that other girl. I’m getting back in the saddle. I know that my health condition, whatever it is, is having an effect on my weight. I know that a lot of the stressors in my life are wreaking havoc on my diet. But these things can’t continue to be my fallback excuses.

So this past week was a big old fail. But I really want to get back on track. Here’s hoping Blissdom doesn’t de-rail me further!

STATS:

Weight: ??? Plus a lot

Mood: in a lot of pain and totally pissed at myself for last week

Comments

5 Responses to “McFatty Monday”

  1. Jessyca
    January 24th, 2011 @ 11:36 pm

    The one thing that I’ve learned in the last couple of weeks? When we do pick exercise over food over and over again, then we don’t feel bad if we do have a small treat – and it tastes even sweeter! Kick last week to the curb, LM – you’ve got THIS week in front of you! One meal at a time, girl! Good choices are made one meal at a time. When you mess up, you have an entirely new chance to start the next time you eat. You’ve got dis – you can totally do it!!! xoxo

  2. karen
    January 25th, 2011 @ 12:10 am

    i love you, SMAOA.

  3. Blair@HeirtoBlair
    January 25th, 2011 @ 3:04 pm

    This week was hell for you, homeslice. Can’t wait to give you a big hug & eat a piece of fruit instead of a brownie at Blissdom 🙂

  4. KLZ
    January 25th, 2011 @ 4:12 pm

    I’m so hungry.

    Now stop beating yourself up so you can tackle something else. You’ve got this, woman!

  5. LegallyInsaneMommy
    January 25th, 2011 @ 7:57 pm

    Yep – me too.

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at http://www.law-momma.com.
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