Cheap Seats

Posted on | January 28, 2011 | 7 Comments

I’m not a high powered blogger. I don’t blog for sponsorships or money or advertisers or really for anything other than this intense and crazy need I have for someone, anyone to tell me that I am not alone. I blog to find out if I’m really crazy or only partially nuts. I blog to discover more about myself and more about the woman, the mother, and the attorney I want to be. Yesterday I sort of felt like I was sitting in the cheap seats. You know, the WAY back of the stadium? Where not even the hot dog vendors dare to venture? The place where you start to get light headed on the climb up to your seats well before you get there? I didn’t feel like I belonged here.

I’m not trying to land a sponsor. I’m not trying to get the most business cards or give out the most or even win the iPad. (Okay, I’m here to win the iPad.) I’m here to learn about these amazing women I see on twitter. I’m here to figure out what makes them tick. I’m here to observe and drink it all in like these women are the my life’s blood.  Because honestly? For the past year of my life, these women have been my life’s blood.

Blogging has introduced me to a world of women not afraid to say “I’m scared” or “I don’t know” or “Help me.”  Blogging has put me in touch with women who say “fuck it,” women who say “pray about it” and women who say “I wish I could give you a hug.”

All of my life, I’ve been a guy person.  I don’t maintain a lot of strong women friendships. I don’t go out of my way to seek out a group of sister women to share my soul with because, for the most part, I’ve never felt that my soul was worth sharing. Blogging has taught me differently. Blogging has taught me that maybe, just maybe, there are parts of me worth sharing OTHER than my sarcasm and my cynicism. Maybe there are people who care about the poetry in my heart and the dreams in my head. Maybe there are women who … get me.

So I came here, to Blissdom, to learn about these women. To learn how to become strong and inspiring. To learn how to embrace creativity and vulnerability and even shame. I came to sit in the cheap seats and watch the glorious madness play out in front of me.  And ultimately? I’m really glad I did. I’m really glad I came here to hug the necks of these women who told me “it’ll all be okay” when I thought it wouldn’t be. I’m glad I came and shared glasses of wine with women who told me “you’re not alone” when I thought I was.  I’m just glad I came.

And if I win an iPad? It’ll just be a bonus.

Comments

7 Responses to “Cheap Seats”

  1. MrsTrophyWife
    January 28th, 2011 @ 7:29 pm

    I’m so glad you’re getting a good experience out of this! I wish that I could have gone. I thought and thought on it, and we just couldn’t make it work with Taylor’s job and no daycare. So I’ll admit that I’m jealous. I’ve often worried that I would be so out of place at a blogging conference that there would be no reason to go. But it’s nice to know that even if you’re worried about it, it’s possible to make it a good thing.

  2. Wendy from Wendys Hat
    January 28th, 2011 @ 7:41 pm

    Just have fun! All bloggers are equal, whether they be brand new or well seasoned! It should be like a sisterhood where you should be happy for all and they should be happy for you, nonjudgmentally. If someone is judging you that is their problem. Life is too short to worry about what someone else is thinking of you. Go out and live and love and enjoy and learn and most of all have fun on your journey!

  3. Suz @ Suz's Treats
    January 29th, 2011 @ 12:54 am

    So glad you’re having a great time, “cheap seats” and all! I’m so jealous because I’d love to be there to meet you & so maybe other blogging women that I admire. I’d hug your neck for sure!

  4. Tami
    January 29th, 2011 @ 7:17 pm

    Dear I say that I’m inspired by your “sarcasm and my cynicism”. Your writing makes me smile and lets me know I’m not alone! THANK YOU!!!

  5. KristinaYellow
    January 30th, 2011 @ 4:22 am

    I just wanted to say-you aren’t alone. At least you have the courage to blog and put yourself out there. I’m still stuck feeling like no one really wants to know my soul-trying to navigate a shaky marriage and being a SAHM and PT instructor. Feeling alone sucks-and if blogging has helped you find people to connect with, to help feel less alone, well, you make me want to try. Thank you.

  6. Natalie
    January 31st, 2011 @ 3:24 am

    Having you find me from across the room simply to give me a hello hug was one of the highlights of my entire week.

    Never doubt that your voice and your words have an impact on others. Even if you don’t respond to comments : )

  7. Dana Udall-Weiner
    February 3rd, 2011 @ 11:00 pm

    So glad to learn of your blog and to know that you are out there, doing the working and mommy thing, and having the courage to write about both. It seems like most of us blog to know that we’re not alone, that there are other frazzled and confused and sleep-deprived moms out there who know what it’s like. And I’m glad to know you’re one of them!

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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