McFatty Monday: Ranting, no Raving

Posted on | February 7, 2011 | 19 Comments

I am sad.

I don’t really know how else to say it other than to just announce to the world that I am irrefutably, irreversibly sad.  And I don’t mean in a global, waaah, my life is so depressing kind of sad. I mean in a particular point a finger directly at the cause and shake that finger in its face kind of sad. 

There are some times when I feel this overwhelming sense of saddness and I can’t put a finger on it.  It comes in waves and I wonder why or where it came from or if it will ever come again. And today, I found a post that lead me to the source of my sad. 

The gloriously talented Lydia of Rants From Mommyland posted a link to an article she wrote about Walmart offering a new cosmetic line for 8-12 year olds. I’m not going to regurgitate the article, I just suggest you read it.  What that article did was point me in the right direction. It tapped me on the shoulder and said “Pssst…. ‘member how you got all sad and mopey this morning when Husband said something about you wanting another muffin? Why don’t you point that sad THISAWAY.”

Because the fact of the matter is, someone out there is making a killing on making women feel like shit.

And it’s starting to piss me off.

I started posting my “McFatty Monday” posts to help me lose weight. To get me to a place where I felt comfortable about my body and what I look like without my clothes on.  And I’d still like to do that. But the thing is, I’m not fat. I’m not obese.  And if I want to lose weight, it should be because I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT and not because People Magazine, Walmart, Target, Victorias Secret, Macy’s, Sports Illustrated and probably the freaking Pope tell me I’m supposed to look like a 13 year old boy with no curves, no lines, no wrinkles and no flaws.

I am not a 13 year old boy.

I am so tired of seeing airbrushed women in magazines.  I am so tired of men thinking all hookers look like Julia Roberts (no offense, Julia… you’re gorgeous and totally not a hooker).  I am just so effing tired of feeling like I am not good enough unless I weigh under 150 pounds and have perky boobs and tiny feet that don’t stink and perfectly manicured hands and soft silky hair. 

I’m a real freaking woman, people. I don’t spend 8 hours of my day being waited on hand and foot.  I don’t even spend one stinking minute of my day being waited on hand and foot.  I can’t spend two or three hours in the gym everyday unless I give up sleeping. And sorry, but I’ll wager one kazillion dollars that if Megan Fox were to spend her days sitting in an office chair at a computer and then going home to a toddler only to repeat the scenario every. single. day. she would not look like Megan Fox any longer. She would look more real. She would more look normal.  I bet if celebrities did their own make up, with make up they bought on budget at Target, and dressed in what they could afford pre-starstatus, and didn’t have any personal trainer or personal chef or personal anything, they’d look a lot more like… well, me. Us. You know… the real women of the United States. Not the Kardashians. Not the  Roberts’. Not the Zeta-Joneses. 

When did normal stop being beautiful? When did real become a BAD thing?  What happened to role models with curves who weren’t ashamed to show them?  When did it become something to brag about that you were still a size zero during pregnancy?  Why is tiny such a good thing? We can’t all be tiny.  We’re not all the same. When did we all start deciding we all needed to be 5’4″ with a waist the size of Rhode Island and boobs the size of Texas? When did things become so bad? When did things become so wrong? When did we turn down the path that would lead us to a world where manufacturers make real make up… for 8 year olds.

We’re not talking about flavored lip gloss. We’re talking full on make up. Mascara. Foundation. Powder.

THAT IS NOT OKAY.  It’s just not.  And I don’t know how to make it okay.  I don’t know how to stop being so sad about how women are treated in this country.  I don’t know how to stop being so sad about the world we’re carving out for our children.

I just don’t know how to stop being sad.

I’m 33 years old. I am 5’9″ tall. My weight fluctuates between a happy 160 and an unhappy 180. It has since college.  I shouldn’t be ashamed of weighing 160 pounds. It’s McFatty Monday. I’m laying it all on the table. I have curves. I have rolls. I have fat where I don’t particularly want fat. But at 180 pounds, I’m 20 pounds more than I’d like to weigh and SIXTY pounds away from what Hollywood thinks I should weigh.  I’m 12 pounds away from what is considered “healthy weight” for my height. If I were to weigh what Hollywood says, I’d be malnourished. I’d be underweight. I’d be sick.

I’ll stick with healthy, thanks.

The only way we can reverse this trend is to be honest.  The only way we can teach our children that it’s okay to be themselves is to be okay with being ourselves.  I’m okay with being 180. I’d prefer to weight 160 and I’m working on it. I will never weigh 120 and I’m proud of that. I am proud that I have curves. I am proud that I am healthy and strong and able to run without fainting and able to feed my child from my giant watermelon boobs that, by the way, are au naturale and not the product of airbrushing or any other publicity trick.  I am proud that I can fit in my size 10 pants even if I’d like to be a size 8.

Lay it all out there, ladies. Be proud of who you are. If you have weight to lose, embrace that. Lose the weight for yourself and NOT because you think that you have to in order to get a man, keep a man, look like a model, or impress a boss. 

Just be you.

Because if you’re not happy being you? Then they win. And I refuse to let them win.

Comments

19 Responses to “McFatty Monday: Ranting, no Raving”

  1. Bonnie
    February 7th, 2011 @ 6:20 pm

    You are now my new “girl crush.”

  2. WTH am I Doing
    February 7th, 2011 @ 6:24 pm

    I’m on this same page with you…altho not on the same size. Alas. I’m 5’8″ & when I weighed 120? I looked like I was just released from a concentration camp. People were seriously freaked out about how thin I was. But hell if it wasn’t easy to find clothes that fit.

    I would love lot live in a society where normal was beautiful. Where real was beautiful. Where I could feel I was more valuable than my measurements.

  3. Katherine
    February 7th, 2011 @ 6:26 pm

    Love.this.post. If I weighed what Hollywood thought I should I’d weigh what I did when I was 12. Not so much healthy if you ask me. Seriously…we’ve gotta be proud of who we are. Ski-slope shaped post-breastfeeding boobies and all.

    (Oh, is that just me? Ok then.)

  4. KristinaYellow
    February 7th, 2011 @ 6:55 pm

    Thank you. Maybe if enough women start to believe this, than all those magazines and movies and things that tell us what “perfect” looks like will take note. Me-I fight by not buying “fashion” magazines that highlight anorexic looking “women” wearing clothes that are never going to work as a person in the real world. Maybe they’ll stop airbrushing-maybe celebrities will stop getting botoxed and cut and pasted so they look “perfect” instead of real. I mean, what’s wrong with aging? Doesn’t it show that you’ve lived life? Yes you may have laugh lines but darnit, that means you laughed! Your stretch marks? You grew another life! I’m all for people doing what they want to be happy–but really, why does anyone need to change anything? Sometimes I think all this media progression is just making us take steps backwards in our perceptions of reality, beauty, and life.

  5. Headmistress Yca
    February 7th, 2011 @ 6:59 pm

    LM – you are amazing! Thank you so much for writing this. I am sick and tired of people thinking it is ok for society to continue to flush down this particular toilet. Even worse? I’m tired of the duplicity of a woman telling her daughter she doesn’t need make-up to be pretty and then turn around and spend enough money to feed an African village on cosmetic surgery and beauty supplies. Women, for the love of all that is good and holy, look at what you are DOING and not just what you are SAYING!! Our children are watching us and they are seeing exactly where we place our values! I could tell my daughter she’s gorgeous just the way she is until I’m blue in the face … but the first time I say that I wish I had a body like a Kardashian/Paltrow/whoever – THAT is what she is going to remember!!

    I’m 5’6″ and I’m 268pounds. I’m currently using my own McFatty system to eat better and exercise more (without a dietician, trainer, gym membership or anything else, tyvm) and I’ve never felt better. I’m not doing it for any other reason except to have more energy, feel better and live longer.

    Tell Vogue they can put that in their pipe and smoke it!!

  6. Kati
    February 7th, 2011 @ 7:12 pm

    You are beautiful!! Your son (and your hubby) love you and see you as beautiful, so don’t worry about everyone else!

    I’m 5’8″ and fluctuate between 160 and 180. I would love to be 150 but I haven’t been that since high school. I have 2 kids and a belly that my son likes to tell me “looks like a butt.” I’d love to lose it all too, but sometimes, I’d just rather play with my kids. That wins out every time. As long as my hubby things I’m beautiful, I’m set 🙂

  7. Kathy Morelli, LPC
    February 7th, 2011 @ 7:30 pm

    Hey – great post! I am SOOOO over all of this air brushing b***s**t! and all of this perfect house, perfect body, perfect parenting c**p.
    So over it, man. I’m with you, babe.

  8. Jami
    February 7th, 2011 @ 7:47 pm

    Just found you thru the link on Blair’s McFatty Monday post. You are so right. We need to make sure we are losing weight for the right reasons. Not because all women need to be a size 2. I for one will never be a size 2. Ever. I just want to be healthy.

  9. Toni
    February 7th, 2011 @ 7:52 pm

    Amen! Thank you for this post. I think I’m “average”, but certainly not by Hollywood standards. I feel huge sometimes and I swear it messes with my head. I wish I could make myself realize that I am healthy and I don’t need to be 125 lbs. I’m 5’6 and 165 lbs, wear a size 12. I definitely need to lose 10-15lbs to get back into a healthy weight. But I’m never going to be 125lbs like I was in high school. My husband loves me for who I am, why can’t I?

  10. Elizabeth
    February 7th, 2011 @ 8:23 pm

    The fact that you are not a stick with boobs is one of the many reasons you have reached superhero status in Elizabethtown. Also, its easier to kick ass when your feet are stinky and have some weight behind them.

  11. Blair@HeirtoBlair
    February 7th, 2011 @ 8:29 pm

    A-FREAKING-MEN.

    Megan Fox wouldn’t last a day behind the desk & then go home to a toddler. At least, not with that body.

  12. Jana A
    February 7th, 2011 @ 9:42 pm

    I wish there was a “STANDING FREAKING OVATION” button! I’d press it 1000 times!

  13. Jennifer
    February 7th, 2011 @ 10:07 pm

    Love this.

    And fyi, if you aren’t already you should read the Curvy Girl Guide. This post would fit right in with some of the stuff they are writing about.

  14. Apparently P
    February 7th, 2011 @ 10:10 pm

    I said it on Twitter, but I’m going to say it again, this is a great post and a healthy way to view body image. Hollywood is not healthy and it’s the wrong message to be sending kids today. Could most of us benefit by being a bit more active? Sure, but that doesn’t mean we’re fat because we don’t wear an extra-small!

    And to quote a commenter before me “STANDING FREAKING OVATION”

  15. Law Momma
    February 7th, 2011 @ 10:47 pm

    It has been brought to my attention that there are, in fact, perfectly healthy women who are 5’9″ or taller and who weigh 120 or 125. So I am sorry if I made it seem like those women are unhealthy. I based my numbers on the BMI calculations and the idea that a BMI less than 18 is considered underweight.

    But still, sorry! Of course there are women who are built differently! No offense meant and hopefully none taken.

  16. Leighann
    February 8th, 2011 @ 12:32 pm

    Love this! So inspiring and honest! Thank you!

  17. LegallyInsaneMommy
    February 8th, 2011 @ 1:20 pm

    (Insert screaming sounds of adoration here)

    I am 5’7 and have lost 10 pounds bringing me to 180. I looked in the mirror the other day and thought, “hmm. I’d like to tone up a bit, but really I’m not fat, I’m just curvy.”

    Why is it that we let other people tell us what is desirable? I thought curves were desirable? Somehow those signals have gotten messed up big time.

  18. Shelley
    February 8th, 2011 @ 1:53 pm

    Rock on, girlfriend!!

    I am 5 inches shorter than you and a lot of pounds heavier than you. I was in a size 18/20 this time last year. Now I can wear a size 12 in jeans and a size 14 in dress pants. I’m not happy about my weight. I wish I could wear a 10 in jeans and in dress pants but that’s not my reality. I’ve got to learn to love me and all of me regardless of what everyone else things.

    Love this post. I think it’s totally wonderful, glamorous, and downright truthful.

  19. Suz B
    February 8th, 2011 @ 2:02 pm

    Love this post & you! 🙂

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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