To Jude on his Second Birthday:

Posted on | August 22, 2011 | 20 Comments

Two years ago, I woke up with a very funny feeling.

I went about my morning, vacuuming the hallways and the corners of our little house, until around 8:30 when I went to wake up your father, who still lived with us then.

It was silly really, but I felt certain.  I was scheduled for a c-section on August 31 because you were upside down.  So it was silly to think that today, nine days early, I was going to have a baby.  But I couldn’t shake the feeling. By noon, we were on our way to the hospital, chatting about how I was probably just having more Braxton Hicks contractions (that’s what they call it when ladies who are going to have a baby think they are going to have the baby before they actually do.)

By 3:30, we’d made all our phone calls… You were on your way.

It’s hard to remember what my life was like before you, Jude.  It’s hard to remember what I ever found funny other than moments like this morning when you walked in while I was putting on mascara, cocked your little head sideways and in your MOST incredulous voice said “Momma? Whatchu DOING?” with a squint and a shake of your blonde curls as though I was engaged in the most ridiculous activity ever.

It is silly, right, little man? It’s silly to put on airs around you because you love me just as I am, just as I love you.  My sweet boy, who follows me around from room to room in the mornings echoing my thoughts and words and actions: brush our teeth, brush our hair, splash water on our faces, put on our shoes.  We are a twosome.  We are “bud-DEEES.”  We are family.

You are the most important part of my day.  You are the first voice I hear, just before the sun comes up, telling me to “Wake UP, Momma, Wake UP!” and you are the last murmur I hear at night, whispering your secrets to Mickey Mouse and Panda and sometimes to Alligator, too.   My world is driven by your quick feet and spiraled curls. 

You sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star like you’re on stage at the Met.  You like to fill cups with water and then dump them out while yelling “ALRIGHT!”  Your towers are epic; no horse has ever had a better home than the ones you build for YOUR horses on the playmat in the kitchen.

I can only hope to always live up to the idea of mommy that you have in your head.  I can only strive to never disappoint you the way you never disappoint me.  You are the smartest and sweetest little boy I’ve ever known and I am so very proud of everything you do, everything you say, and everything you are.  Throughout this past year, when so much has changed around you, you have worn a big smile and danced your way through.  You have not been phased by this new phase.  You have not been changed by the changes around you.  You are indescribably you at every moment of the day: laughing, fussing, grinning, eating, dancing, running, playing and sleeping. 

I love you so very much, my doodlebug.  If I had cupped the ear of God and whispered to him what I wanted in a little boy, I could not have asked for more than who you are.  I have been blessed a thousand times over since you first arrived, wide-eyed and full of energy, and I am in awe of everything you are becoming.

Happy birthday my sweet, sweet, Jude.  May you have many, many, MANY more days full of eating strawberries, blowing bubbles, dancing to the Avett Brothers, pretending to be an airplane, watching Mickey Mouse, snuggling with Momma, and reading books.  I love you to the moon and back and then again and again and again.

Love, Momma 

 

Comments

20 Responses to “To Jude on his Second Birthday:”

  1. Jana Anthoine
    August 22nd, 2011 @ 2:02 pm

    Oh, man. I’m in tears over here now. Happy happy birthday, little guy! Hold on to your Momma. She’ll never steer you wrong. You’ll always know she loves you. She loves you so much and only wants the VERY very best in the world for you. Sometimes you may have to wipe her tears, but she’ll always wipe yours, too.

  2. Sarah
    August 22nd, 2011 @ 2:17 pm

    Beautiful! happy birthday Jude!

  3. aim
    August 22nd, 2011 @ 2:44 pm

    Much love to you both, and happy birthday 😉
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo!!!!

  4. Chantel Hull
    August 22nd, 2011 @ 2:58 pm

    Crying at work.. this was beautiful and so heart felt. Loved it.. Happy Birthday little Jude- you’ve got an amazing momma.

  5. Heather Griffitts Clark
    August 22nd, 2011 @ 3:22 pm

    So beautiful…it is easy to feel how much in love you are with that little sweet child.

  6. beachmum
    August 22nd, 2011 @ 3:57 pm

    Happy Birthday Jude and happy birthday of being a mama. another truly beautiful post. Jude is a lucky little boy 🙂

  7. Erica Snipes
    August 22nd, 2011 @ 4:50 pm

    Sniffle. What a lovely birthday message, from a lovely lady, to a beautiful and perfect little boy. Enjoy today. 🙂

  8. facie
    August 22nd, 2011 @ 5:52 pm

    What a beautiful post.

    My baby just turned 8 on Saturday. I was also due on the 31st. So many people say that it goes by so fast. And it does!

  9. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2011 @ 6:46 pm

    Oh I was due on September 7th! He just got really tired of not seeing the world!

  10. Roxanne Piskel
    August 22nd, 2011 @ 6:20 pm

    Simply beautiful. Happy Birthday Jude!

  11. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2011 @ 8:35 pm

    Happy happy birthday sweet Jude!

  12. Lyndsay
    August 22nd, 2011 @ 11:12 pm

    Beautiful! Happy Birthday Jude and Happy Birth Day to you Law Momma!

  13. Suz
    August 23rd, 2011 @ 12:58 am

    Happy birthday to Jude!

  14. Strugglingforeverafter
    August 23rd, 2011 @ 2:03 am

    nice!

  15. Sanele
    August 23rd, 2011 @ 11:27 am

    For starters,’Jude’ is such a beautiful name!And well,I hope he grows up to remember just how much love his momma had for him! 🙂

  16. Amanda Clay
    August 23rd, 2011 @ 5:47 pm

    Beautiful, just GORGEOUS.

  17. Dre
    August 24th, 2011 @ 2:06 pm

    Love this. Happy Birthday Jude. This is going to be a wonderful year for you both.

  18. Etaw641
    August 24th, 2011 @ 3:58 pm

    Karen, this was beautiful. Happy Birthday, sweet Jude!

  19. Joel
    August 26th, 2011 @ 12:25 am

    “You have not been phased by this new phase.” .. I love that. can I borrow it?

    BTW, if the law professional doesnt work out and/or you just get tired of it, you have a brilliant career ahead of you as a writer.

  20. Gage C. Evans
    August 28th, 2011 @ 11:27 pm

    I almost cried. That was so beautiful.

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