Happy (almost) Holidays!

Posted on | November 30, 2011 | 6 Comments

Tomorrow is the first day of December, which means, among other things, that ABC Family’s 25 days of Christmas will begin.  And that means 25 days worth of amazingly cheesy movies, which makes me happy.

A lot of things make me happy in December… my birthday, Christmas, spending time with family and hopefully friends… and this year, I’m mostly happy that December marks the end of this year.  Normally, I try to look back on the year and remember good things that happened, and because I want to try to remedy this totally horrific year, I thought I’d take this last day of November to reflect back on some of the most awesome things that have happened in 2011.  Mostly, I just want to go into December with a light heart, ready to enjoy the season of giving with the same eyes and spirit I normally have.

So yeah, 2011? You haven’t been all that kind to me.  But there are still some pretty amazing things that have happened and I’m going to use those to push on through to 2012.

First and foremost, this year has rekindled a friendship with a wonderful girl who I knew when I was just a small child.  And somehow, despite not really talking to her for close to 30 years, I can’t for the life of me figure out how I ever survived without her.  So for her friendship alone, 2011 was totally worth it.

Second, 2011 brought me a wonderful clarity about who I am and for that I am truly thankful.  So many people go through life not knowing what it is they want out of life or who they want to be or love.  2011 has taught me exactly who I am and what I want out of my life and my loves.  And that’s a pretty precious gift, to be honest.

Third, this year has taught me how to love myself… and man, that’s a gift a long long LONG time coming. For most of my life, I’ve spent most of my time telling myself I’m not worth the effort or the trouble.  I’ve spent most of my time putting my needs second and third and fourth and never, ever first.  I’ve told myself I deserve what I get and not that I should get what I deserve. I’ve learned this year that I am worth so much more than I give myself credit for.  I’ve learned to stand up for myself and say “No more.” I’ve learned how to put my needs a little closer to the top of my list and that makes me so very hopeful about what 2012 may bring.

And finally, I am most thankful that, above all else, my husband decided to become my ex-husband.  And I don’t mean that in a hateful way at all.  I mean that we were so very wrong for each other and yet, I would have stayed with him until the end of time because it was what I thought I was supposed to do.  I am so thankful that he made the decision to leave so that I could learn that there are people who actually will love me for the person I am. I am so thankful that he has given me the opportunity to fall in love with someone who will love me back.  Because I deserve that.  I deserve to be loved.  And I don’t know that I could have said that before this year.   

So yeah, it’s been a rough year.  But sometimes? Sometimes you need tough times to teach you how to perservere.  Sometimes you need heart ache to remind you of your own heart.  Sometimes you need to be broken to learn to put yourself back together… better and stronger, even with the scars.

This year broke me several times over.  But I am here.  I survived.  I am strong and alive and smiling.  And learning that I’m capable of that? That’s a wonderful gift.

So let’s move on into December and let it be what it should be:  a time to celebrate the year past and look forward to the year future; a time to remember the birth of a child; a time of magic and wonder and lights; a time to remember what it means to be joyful.  Because despite everything, I still have joy and hope and wonder… and the belief that real love will come my way.


6 Responses to “Happy (almost) Holidays!”

  1. Heather Griffitts Clark
    November 30th, 2011 @ 12:03 pm

    What a wonderful, wonderful post!

  2. Mrs MidAtlantic
    November 30th, 2011 @ 1:37 pm

    So full of hope! Way to ring in the season of hope and love! Merry Christmas!

  3. MaconMom
    November 30th, 2011 @ 3:56 pm

    Oh I love this!!! You are right on all points.

    And, I am so excited for cheesy holiday movies (thanks for the information on that!). I watched one Sunday.
    I’m also excited to watch Christmas Vacation soon!

    Cheers to you and December!
    Hey…I’m a December birthday. We’ll have to celebrate!

  4. Chunky Mama
    November 30th, 2011 @ 9:45 pm

    Great post, as always. It makes me smile to read happy and hopeful words from you. You are right – you deserve all the love and happiness in the world. 🙂

  5. Angela
    December 1st, 2011 @ 5:27 am

    You are a class act. I’m so glad that you are coming to realize all that you are worth.

  6. alecia
    December 1st, 2011 @ 10:08 am

    Way to usher in the season! Love the attitude! I love this time of year and so hope that your 2012 is so much better than your 2011. You deserve it!

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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