Tuesday Rant

Posted on | March 13, 2012 | 7 Comments

There are days, like today, when I want to throw my hands up and scream “I CAN NOT DO THIS!” at the top of my lungs.  I am *this* close to tears and I really just wanted to stay tucked in bed with J and wait out the storm that is my life.

I think J is getting sick.  He’s got a nasty croupy cough and a runny nose that just won’t stop running.  He’s whiny and sad and doesn’t much feel like doing anything but snuggling up next to me and being whiny and sad.  And on top of that, we have a new puppy who adores J and wants to play with him constantly.  J loves Riley, but he’s not a fan of the puppy exuberance when he doesn’t feel well.

Riley is a doll and she’s doing the best she can to learn our family’s routines and the ins and outs of being a new puppy in a new home.  AJ is helping by growling at her just for existing and boxing her off away from any toys, food, or time with me. So that’s awesome.

And the worst part?  I have no assistant at work.  I am solely responsible for at least 100 cases in active litigation and I have no assistant.  I have appointments tomorrow at 9, 10, 11, 2, 3, and 4, then a hearing on Thursday with appointments all afternoon, and two hearings on Friday.  And I have no assistant.  And I can’t get anything done because my phone, quite literally, rings constantly.  If I’m not on the phone, I’m in a meeting.  If I’m not on the phone or in a meeting, I’m running to the bathroom.  And if I’m in the bathroom, I’m probably hiding from the phone.  Or the mountain of work on my desk that needs to be done but that I can not do because I’m always on the phone or in a meeting.  I am supposed to be running the comp department here.  I am supposed to take all new calls, meet with all clients, handle all problems, research, write, organize and in general keep files moving toward a resolution.  Instead, I am typing letters, calling doctors’ offices to set up appointments, and listening to my clients tell me that their checks are late.  I’ve stopped being an attorney and have become an assistant.  I’m not able to do any LEGAL work, because I’m too swamped with all the logistics and paperwork.   Except, news flash, I’m still supposed to be doing all the legal stuff, too.  All of it.  All neatly tucked into the hours of 8-5:30.  Because, dammit, my evenings are my time with J and I will not give that up for anything, even sanity in the office.

So the end result is that I want to hibernate.  I want to curl up in a ball and say “No. I can’t do this.  I do not want to be doing this anymore.”  And then to add insult to injury, someone let it slip that another attorney at my firm, one with a lot less experience and a lot less responsibility, is making over 10k more than me a year. 

And that, folks, is when you want to throw up your hands and say “No. Freaking. More.”

I’m tired.  I’m overworked.  I am sad and lonely and PMSing and dammit, I need chocolate.  And a massage.  And an assistant.  And obviously a raise.

And clearly… some kind of good meds. 

It’s only Tuesday.  Wish me luck on surviving the next three days.

Comments