In any Language

Posted on | March 15, 2012 | 7 Comments

This morning, I was rudely awakened at 4:00 am by the puppy yelping madly to get out of her kennel.  I stumbled out of bed, slid into my slippers, and padded my way to the back door.  Both dogs piled out of the door, head over tail and out into the back yard.  Riley, the puppy, immediately peed, pooped, and raced right back to my side.  AJ, the older dog, stood in the farthest corner of the yard, staring at me.  He was barely in the light and I was loudly whisper/yelling for him to get back in the house.

Thirty minutes.

That’s how long it took for him to wander his way around the yard, pee twice, poop, and then mosey into the house.  By that time, guess who was WIDE awake.  Nonetheless, I went back to my bedroom, putting Riley back in her kennel and crawled back into bed alongside J.

Only things were not as I had left them.

Halfway into the bed, I realized that everything, and I mean EVERYTHING was soaked.  J had peed all over his shirt, all over the sheets, the comforter and inexplicably my pillow.

So, in light of my morning, I’d like to share with you my top ten favorite foreign words. They’re fun to mutter under your breath and bonus? Most people don’t know what you’re saying.

1.  je m’en fou: Loosely translated? Momma just don’t give a f*ck. In French.

2.  Stronzo: Italian for … you know… poop.

3. Merde: Poop sounds even better in French

4. Ta Gueule: Reserved for times when I really want a client to, you know, shut the eff up. In French.

5. Cago en tu leche: I don’t actually ever say this one… but I love it.  It means “I poop in your milk” in Spanish.

6. Cao: Short, simple, Chinese for f*ck

7. Du Hurensohn: German for son of a … really nice lady.

8. Dolbo yeb: Russian for stupid f*ck

9. Poutana: Greek for whore, or that really nice lady who cut you off in traffic.

10. Porca troia: Italian for “F*cking Hell!” aka: my morning.

Comments

7 Responses to “In any Language”

  1. Heather Griffitts Clark
    March 15th, 2012 @ 11:08 am

    I literally just laughed out loud….awwww, LM – that does make for a shitty morning.

  2. Krista {Not Mommy of the Year}
    March 15th, 2012 @ 11:38 am

    Haha! I request a vlog so I can master the pronounciation of these words.

  3. Lawmomma77
    March 15th, 2012 @ 11:51 am

    A vlog would only serve to have Chinese, Russian, French, Italian and Spanish people wondering what in the porca troia I am saying! 🙂

  4. MaconMom
    March 15th, 2012 @ 11:39 am

    So love these and look forward to using them.
    What a morning.

  5. Jacki O, Red-Headed Mommy
    March 15th, 2012 @ 6:36 pm

    I’m so sorry you had such a crappy morning, but I love the post that came out of it. I’m quite eager to use them!

  6. "aunt" Judy
    March 15th, 2012 @ 9:06 pm

    solution….teach Jude to let the dogs out in the morning and he can pee in the yard with them! 🙂

  7. Angie Wenzel
    March 19th, 2012 @ 3:52 pm

    Fantastic! I will definitely be using these! So sorry that day started out so badly.

  • Creative Commons License
    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at http://www.law-momma.com.
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