My Little Miracle

Posted on | March 29, 2012 | 6 Comments

J’s daycare is at a local Methodist church here in Macon.  As a result of the location, he does a lot of learning about the Bible.  Lately, he’s been waking up in the morning and singing “I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.”  And seriously, I can assure you, there is nothing more wonderful in the world than hearing your son grinning his way through a song that announces to the world “and I’m so happy, so very happy.”  Even when it’s at quarter of five in the morning and you really want to push him back to his pillow and insist that he go back to sleep.  Oh yes… even then.

Lately, J’s been … very two and a half.  He doesn’t listen as well as he used to.  He kicks and hits and whines a lot more than I’d like and more often than not, I’m spending my time chasing him down and threatening time out.  Because of this, I don’t get a lot of time to just sit and admire the little person my son is becoming.  I don’t have a lot of time to study the curve of his face, the mess of curls on his head, his way of tilting his head and saying very grown up things like “Oh, I so sorry you have a tummy ache, mommy. ”  He’s growing up so fast and so well and it’s so hard to keep up.

I wish I had a permanent video camera trained on him so I could rewind and watch all these moments again and again… the time that he crawled up in my lap and laid his head against my shoulder and announced “I just want to snuggle you, Mommy.  Because I love you sooooo much.” Or the time that he ran outside and threw his arms out wide and said “Let’s sing to the moon and look at the stars!”  I can’t adequately capture, in words, the magic of his voice and his eyes and … him. 

He is magic to me.

Even when he’s kicking and whining and complaining.  Even when he’s doing exactly what I asked him not to do at exactly the moment I ask him not to do it.  Even when he’s being two and a half.

Because this little boy, this little piece of my heart on two legs, is a miracle.  He’s a walking, talking, running, playing, pain in the ass and sweet as pie miracle.  There are moments when I look at him and all I can think is “I made that. Here in me, that little boy grew and grew and developed into a minuscule piece of a person.”  There are moments when I want to punish him for doing something but suddenly he looks so big and so grown up that all I can do is wrap my arms around him and pull him close, whispering to him that I love him, and to please not grow up too fast.

He is very two and a half.  He is very much mine.  I hope I will always find moments to be amazed by him, moments where he takes my breath away just by being J, by being alive.  Because for all the drama of housing and raising a toddler, I wouldn’t trade him for the world.

Comments

6 Responses to “My Little Miracle”

  1. Kreeper611
    March 29th, 2012 @ 10:19 am

    Oh, I know those feelings. C learned The B-I-B-L-E song and I could die from the cuteness. But he’s like Jekyll & Hyde and also very much 2 and a half. I need to try to remember to ask him to sing a song when I’m frustrated instead of sending him to his room…maybe then we’ll all be “so very happy.”

  2. KeAnne
    March 29th, 2012 @ 11:13 am

    My son is very much the same way right now. Last night I was frustrated because he was smushing food all over his hands, but this morning, I had 2 straight minutes of “I love you, Mommy” during the commute. Priceless!

  3. Kate Sluiter
    March 29th, 2012 @ 11:29 am

    I never comment, but I always look at pics of J on fb and I think, “hey, who posted that pic of Eddie. Oh wait. That’s J.”

    And this post?

    Friend, I think we have the same child. Seriously.

    So much drama, but so much love.

  4. Karah Spahn
    March 29th, 2012 @ 11:52 am

    My son is 2 and I’m feeling the same way lately. I couldn’t wait for him to be past the “baby phase” and now I just want time to s-l-o-w down. Toddler-hood is amazing.

  5. Heather Griffitts Clark
    March 29th, 2012 @ 12:42 pm

    That idea of a video camera trained on them to capture it all….that’s exactly how I feel. I want to rewind every minute and drink it in again and again and again.

  6. Karey
    March 29th, 2012 @ 9:59 pm

    “…a walking, talking, running, playing, pain in the ass and sweet as pie miracle. ”

    This captures exactly how I feel about each of my kids as well. 🙂

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