Posted on | April 10, 2012 | No Comments
I have never been a fan of bugs.
I never liked bugs that fly or crawl or buzz or scuttle. I hated ones that spin webs and ones that roll and especially ones that bit and stung. They terrified me and I abhored them. I appreciated their “role” in the society of earth and all that, but I just wanted them to do their role outside of my house, preferably outside of my yard or at least outside of my line of sight.
And then I had a child.
Oh how the world shifts and turns and spins on its ear when you are the mother of a little sponge of a toddler, who craves the soaking of knowledge like it is water for his soul. It is water for his soul. Things I found gross are now “cool.” Insects that once would have been smashed during a shriek are now pointed out and observed, a teaching moment, a lesson on life.
This morning, I opened the back door to let the dogs out and there was a beetle the size of my big toe hanging out on the doorstep. Old me would have screamed and slammed the door, looking for bug spray. New me watched him move for a moment and called for J.
“Look, J, a beetle!”
His eyes lit up. He got down on his hands and knees, lowering his face down towards the grotesque bug.
“G’morning Beetle! Hello!” he grinned, reaching a hand out to touch the shiny black shell.
Inside my skin, the old me shuttered, but the new me simply smiled.
We pulled a leaf off the nearby bush and held it down for the beetle to crawl on. J carefully stepped out into the yard and put the leaf down next to a tree.
“Goodbye beetle! We’ll see you later,” he ran back to the house, grinning a smile I would have missed… if I were the old me.
To me, the best part of being a parent is the newness of the world, the bright and shiny awe of even the most mundane of things: seeing how a cocoon is spun, watching an inch worm inch, witnessing the sparkle of a pristine spider web. Before being a mother, I swatted flies and ran from bees. I shreiked at spiders and cringed at even the word “snake.”
And now, I am catching beetles on leaves and examining the hovering capabilities of buzzing bumble bees.
Every day is an adventure.
Every moment is for learning or teaching or embracing.
Every joy of his is a joy of mine.
Even if it’s all about bugs.