Second Dates and Butterflies

Posted on | June 12, 2012 | 22 Comments

For my next trick, I will attempt the death defying “Having a guy over without your child knowing about it.” 

It was second date time and though we batted around the idea of going out, when you “go out” as a single mom, it ends up costing everyone.  Sure he pays for the drinks and the meal, but you’re shelling out $40 for someone to sit at your house and watch your television while your child sleeps.  So ultimately I gave him a choice… we could go out and I could hire a sitter, or he could give me carte blanche to run a full criminal background and public record search on him and, assuming all was clean, he could come over and watch a movie after J went to sleep.

He chose full criminal background… which probably tells you a little bit about the kind of guy this is.

Yesterday morning, like the good little lawyer I am, I delegated the “chore” of researching my date to my law clerks.  They diligently searched and searched and by mid-morning presented me with a manilla folder full of information, neatly pared down to a one page memo of highlights: divorced, speeding ticket in 1998, family members’ names, current address.  Nothing too alarming. 

So I texted and gave him the green light to come over once J was in bed.  We’d had a rough Sunday and no naps all weekend so I figured bed time would be a breeze and by 7:30 J would be passed out. 

Never assume CRAP when it comes to toddlers.

At 7:15, I was still singing round after round of “Wheels on the Bus” which is, inexplicably, J’s favorite “lullaby.”  At 7:20, I was wondering if he somehow knew I had plans and was punishing me.  At 7:45 when my date arrived, J was FINALLY asleep.  And in what can only be called a miracle, he never woke up while the date was in the house.

As for the part you’re all interested in… that part went well.  We started a movie and cracked open a bottle of wine.  We paused the movie, finished the wine, and talked until almost midnight.  HE was a perfect gentleman… hands off, no funny business.

The same could not be said for me.

And that is all I have to say about that except that don’t worry, mom, my clothes stayed on.  All of them.

Comments

22 Responses to “Second Dates and Butterflies”

  1. Kerri Lentz
    June 12th, 2012 @ 9:23 am

    I love hearing about things going well for you. 🙂 My son also went through a phase around age 2 where The Wheels on the Bus was his favorite lullaby! I used to change it up after the standard driver/horn/wipers/babies/parents…turns out our bus was filled animals. E.g., the cows on the bus go moo moo moo, the tigers on the bus go ROAR, etc. 🙂

  2. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:04 pm

    Omigosh, I’m so going to have to try that!!!! I get so tired of the same old crap.

  3. J Anja288
    June 12th, 2012 @ 10:23 am

    I’m famous. I made the blog. <3

  4. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:03 pm

    Boom. 🙂

  5. Abigail Gorton
    June 12th, 2012 @ 9:51 pm

    I hope you’re the law clerk and not the date!

  6. pinkflipflops44
    June 12th, 2012 @ 10:42 am

    haha 1) i love how you did a background check on him 2) kids totally know.

  7. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:03 pm

    They totally do. They’re like little mind readers.

  8. Jackie Henson
    June 12th, 2012 @ 11:26 am

    oh how perceptive our little ones are 😛 way to go LM for getting yourself out there & having some fun 🙂 (also good idea on the whole criminal background check thing, never thought of that lol)

  9. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:03 pm

    It was fun… and it’s over with that one, but I’m sure there will be others!

  10. Roxanne Piskel
    June 12th, 2012 @ 11:35 am

    This makes me so happy.

    And I love that you ran a background check on him. Oh if we could all take advantage of that. 🙂

  11. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:03 pm

    LOL! I know… I can’t believe he actually agreed to that. Of course, that could have also played a large role in his decision to state we should just be friends today. haha

  12. Roxanne Piskel
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:10 pm

    I think dating a single parent takes certain types of person. I actually admire him for speaking up now, before too many feelings got involved. Sometimes you don’t even know how you feel about a potential date having a child until you have to sneak in the house for a movie date while the kiddo is snoring away in the next room. 🙂

  13. Jana A (@jana0926)
    June 12th, 2012 @ 1:13 pm

    Love it! All of it!!

  14. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:02 pm

    😀

  15. Merrill Boykin
    June 12th, 2012 @ 1:16 pm

    Love the background check! The first time my fiance came over to my house…I was a nervous wreck because of my daughter! Glad you are having fun!

  16. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:02 pm

    It really is hard to deal with dating as a single mom, isn’t it!?! Where do you draw the line??

  17. Lola M.
    June 12th, 2012 @ 4:01 pm

    Does he have a brother?!

  18. lawmomma
    June 12th, 2012 @ 5:02 pm

    Ha! He’s still available… so maybe just go for him? I can send you his profile. 🙂

  19. Lola M.
    June 14th, 2012 @ 2:46 am

    … Well, considering he doesn’t prefer kiddos probably not, but thanks! 🙂

    … Personally, I tend to date men who have some marriage wear and tear. They’re like a good pair of well worn, slightly stretchy Levi jeans?

    They are also more likely to understand where you are coming from if J throws up on you 39 minutes before the date starts?

  20. Rachel
    June 12th, 2012 @ 6:15 pm

    Yes, children ALWAYS know when you have plans!!

    Glad to hear it went well! Maybe I should look into this online dating stuff…

  21. Eli Pacheco
    June 23rd, 2012 @ 11:13 am

    We soccer coaches have background checks every season, so we’re all readily dateable – aside from the stained shirts, scruffy chins and messy cars.

    I like the comment about looking for a guy with a little marriage wear on him – to me, a woman is exponentially more attractive if she carries the mom card. It’s not the worn-out aspect, like we marriage-weathered fellows, but something noble – and hot, really – about a woman who has or is raising kids.

    Call me crazy …

  22. Eli@coachdaddyblog.wordpress
    June 23rd, 2012 @ 11:16 am

    We soccer coaches come with seasonal background checks – so we are completely date-able. Aside from the scruffy chins, baggy shorts and misuse of hair product.

    Hard to imagine a kid being a detriment to a woman. Maybe I’m crazy, but a girl I’d like becomes exponentially more attractive when I find out she’s a mom.

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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