Standard Operating Procedures

Posted on | July 9, 2012 | 5 Comments

“I don’t know, I really like this guy.”

I was talking to a friend of mine about a guy I know and discussing the fact that we’re planning a fun date in Atlanta next weekend.  She was patiently listening to me as I went through all my crazy and probably laughing to herself.

“I just don’t know if we should spend all that time together… what if he decides he doesn’t like me after all?  What if he sees me post-vacation, with my seven pounds of beer weight, and thinks I’m too fat? What if he just decides that I’m not as funny as he thinks I am?”

What if, what if, what if.

Finally she interrupted my self-deprication with a quick one-liner:

“Sounds like you need to change your SOP.”

And after I rolled the acronym around in my head for a while, I gave up and asked her what she meant.

“Standard. Operating. Procedure.  Stop thinking about what the man wants and focus on what YOU want.”

My friend is so wise.

We then played out a scenario where this same guy was sitting in his room, wondering if I wouldn’t like him because he has a patch of back hair or a mint-condition Star Wars collection.  Then of course, we laughed, because never would that happen; Men think everything they do and have is sexy because it’s theirs and they’re men.

So why can’t we think that way?  Why am I programmed to grab a sharpie and circle my problem areas like a desperate sorority pledge?  Why do I waste my time wondering if my hair is too dark or too light, my ass to fat or too thin, to catch a man?  Shouldn’t I be worried about finding the man who wants me just as I am? Fat ass and all?  

Because he’s out there. 

And maybe this isn’t him.  Probably this isn’t him.  But that doesn’t mean that I can’t spend a weekend in Atlanta with a guy I really like.  It doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with ME if things don’t work out. 

I’m changing my SOP.  I’m learning how to do what’s right for me… and that doesn’t include chasing the guys who couldn’t care less about all the awesome I have to offer.  It involves being me, totally and completely… and if a guy doesn’t like that? Then why in the hell would I like him?

But don’t judge me if I’m still hoping for a little magic this coming weekend.


5 Responses to “Standard Operating Procedures”

  1. KLZ
    July 9th, 2012 @ 10:25 am

    Because of advertising and celebrity moms who lose all baby weight in 3 days. That’s why we hate ourselves.

    I mean…criticize. Or maybe I mean hate. I’m not sure.

  2. Patsy Buccy
    July 9th, 2012 @ 11:23 am

    Awesome! The most important thing is finding a guy that is wowed by the fact you like him…. PS have you ever read “Total Waste of Makeup”? Chic lit, but humorous look at dating scene, search for love, got a few truths in there….

  3. Kirsten Anne Kovaleski Piccini
    July 9th, 2012 @ 12:20 pm

    I love the new picture of you on the blog, it’s wonderful. I think we all need to do this, whether in our romantic relationships or otherswise, STOP thinking we’re not enough. wishing you MAGIC *sprinkling fairy dust* over your weekend and life. 🙂

  4. CircumscribePeon38
    July 9th, 2012 @ 2:47 pm
  5. No name on this one!
    July 10th, 2012 @ 12:38 am

    I met my husband when I was 36. He LOVES my fat ass.

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