And in Conclusion… (plus some random ramblings)

Posted on | July 12, 2012 | 6 Comments

So yesterday.

Oh, yesterday.

After posting about my awesome morning, the day just kept getting more and more hilarious to the point that I just gave up, bought a six pack and waited to get struck by lightening.  Honestly.  Because once I changed clothes it turned out that the skirt I put on was too short for a mediation so I had to change again.  I went home at lunch to change for the second time and to set off a bug bomb in my house.  Only I set off the bug bomb first… which made it impossible to stay in the house long enough to change clothes.

So I thought that was the perfect excuse to do a little shopping.  I headed over to the mall and ran in Talbots (Seriously, I used to think Talbots was an old lady store and now I’m all OHMYGOD TALBOTS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH… which means they got awesome or I got old).  Talbots let me down, but luckily there’s a White House Black Market just across the way, so I hauled it over there in my too short skirt and hooker heels because yes, actually, that is precisely what you should wear as a woman getting ready to go to a settlement mediation and argue with men for more money. 

I stepped into the store and, like a curse from the gods…

THE POWER TO THE ENTIRE SHOPPING CENTER WENT OUT.

Like, not just the store.  The whole shopping center.

Luckily, the store clerks understood my plight and they let me stay and try on clothes while the rest of the center was locking doors to prevent, I don’t know, looting? Mid-day?

So I found a super cute dress, cut the tags, put it on and marched up to the counter to pay.

Card Declined.

Card Declined again.

The tags are off.  The dress is ON MY BODY.

And inexplicably, Bank of America is not making my transfer between accounts instant but is marking it “pending.”  Finally I crossed my fingers and slid a credit card through and was the proud owner of a suitable mediation dress. 

By the time I stopped for lunch, I had fifteen minutes to shovel in a burrito before my mediation and shovel I did.  In the first good thing to happen all day, nothing spilled on my new dress and I made it to the mediation on time.

Only to find out that opposing counsel was stuck in Atlanta and we had to reschedule. 

So there’s that.

But I suppose all of that in one day means the rest of the week will be swell? Maybe?  This morning, J announced that he needed to go get more money in the bank because we didn’t have enough… so maybe I’m doing a bang up job teaching him how to save money.  Though he followed it up by saying he wanted us to have more money so he could go to the toy store and I could go buy more dresses… so maybe not. 

But my weekend is shaping up to be pretty stinking interesting, to be honest.  J has the weekend with his grandparents and I’ve got a date with on Saturday with “Professor”, and a tentative date with “Styles” on Sunday. And I like both of them.  I’ve never been a “dater” where I go out with more than one man at a time… it just doesn’t seem fair.  So I’m trying to be all up front and honest about seeing other people but not too honest because I don’t want to come across like a whore. Plus also, in a fit of awesome, my legs and arms are covered in poison from my yard so I look like a leper.  The boys will come a running!

Oh dating.  You so complete me.

Or something.

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Comments

  • http://twitter.com/ExpertParalegal Lynne DeVenny

    As a paralegal who does much of the mediation prep in our office, I know that feeling of getting right down to the wire – and then the wire getting moved (or removed).

    I love th’ Talbots. Dress pic? When poison ivy clears up? :D

    Happy dating. Don’t give up. I met my husband, who is also a college professor, via an online dating service. I like to say I only had to kiss about a dozen fellows meant for other lucky ladies :)

  • pinkflipflops44

    ooooh man hahaha. good luck this weekend!

  • http://www.facebook.com/HeatherGriffittsClark Heather Griffitts Clark

    You’re only a “whore” if you’re sleeping with multiple men at the same time. Even then…I dunno..double standard anyone? I’d say you’re a responsible woman with needs to be met. Who wants to be sure she’s getting the right person – because sexual compatibility is important. Right?
    That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

  • Shelly

    You have a fantastic ability to “find the funny” in situations that would leave others (myself included) curled up crying in the fetal position. I would have lost it at the bug bomb.
    Thanks for the laugh. Have a great weekend!

  • http://twitter.com/Eliatcoachdaddy Eli Pacheco

    I think what we’re missing here is a visual of the too-short-skirt vs. the new dress, and I’m not just saying that as a dude, because we’re supposed to be more visual.

    I mean, if the Colorado Rockies tell me they’ve improved my favorite team’s uniform, I want to see the changes made, you know?

  • paige

    I hope you have two great dates and it leads to more! I have been on your similar schedule with divorce and dating, and last summer, there were times I was seeing 6 or 8 guys at a time–not sleeping with them (well maybe one or two, so sue me) and I swear, it was absolutely liberating! For once, I worried about me and what I wanted and let everyone else make their own decisions—I learned so much about myself I did not know. Have a great time!




  • I'm a divorced, single mom to a pre-schooler, a full-time attorney, and a semi-reluctant vegetarian. I work hard and when given the chance, I play hard... but I'm almost never given the chance.

    I think fart jokes are funny, I'm pretty sure magic is real, and my life long dream is to buy a farm and write a novel while watching horses run around at a respectable distance. (Because horses are scary up close. Seriously.)

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