My So Called Toddler

Posted on | September 7, 2012 | 11 Comments

Yesterday, we had a play date with a boy in J’s class and his parents.  They came over for dinner and the boys played for a while until their son apparently went to play with a toy that J didn’t want him to play with.  A small argument ensued and I did what all parents of only children do… I instructed J to share nicely.

You’d have thought I’d asked him to hand over a kidney.

He stood up, stomped his feet and semi-yelled “No! I don’t WANT to give him that toy. I’m MAD!”

And then he took off down the hall, threw open the door to his room and slammed it behind him.


No one told me that raising a three year old was like living with a 13 year old girl.  When I got back there to him, he was sprawled out, face down on his bed, red-faced and furious.  And all I could think was that somehow, my sweet, kind, adorable boy had been possessed by the mind and soul of Joey Potter.

The drama is insane.  The mood swings are ridiculous.  The angst is Dawson’s Creek worthy.

My son can go from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse to Grey’s Anatomy in 5.2 flat.  He is so mercurial that I have to keep a case of beer on hand just to self-medicate when he whirls himself into bed.  I had NO idea that three was like this.  I had no clue that his hormones would rival that of the sixth grader down the stret.  I had no inkling that I would need bars of chocolate to coax him down off the ledge of crazy that he seems perched to jump from. 

It’s out of control.

On any given day, I don’t know if I’m going to deal with my toddler, or his alter-ego, Angela Chase.  I don’t know if I’m going to come home and find purple hair dye all over the tub and a nose piercing or just the normal crash cars against the wall and sing songs about poop.  It’s like I don’t know my own child.

I guess it’s the coming to awareness that three year olds find? The ability to name their emotions, the prowess to express their feelings and concerns? Hell, I don’t know.  What I do know is that if I hear one more door slam in my house before J reaches 13, I’m taking it off the hinges.

Because there’s plenty of time for drama when he hits middle school… momma doesn’t need it right now.


11 Responses to “My So Called Toddler”

  1. Lisa
    September 7th, 2012 @ 11:58 am

    Oh, three was a LOT worse than two in our house! Four has been rather difficult too.

    I am beginning to believe it’s because they have all these emotions and urge to be independent but, still not the knowledge to express their exact feelings.

    Hang in there! I’m sure it’s even harder as a single momma! I can’t imagine working through the fits alone. I am constantly amazed at single moms! 🙂

  2. EdaciousFish23
    September 7th, 2012 @ 12:38 pm
  3. KB
    September 7th, 2012 @ 12:44 pm

    Yes, hang in there is right. I heard that children don’t understand what sharing means until they are in first grade. He might not understand that his friend will not take the toy for himself, just have a turn to play and it will come back. Even once he does get that, he may still like to make his own choice about whether or not he wants to share this toy, especially if it’s his.
    Ours are just at the rebellious stage where they experiment with how far they can go with Mommy and Daddy (heads up, they are 4). Time-outs happen often.

  4. Joanna @ Growing up in Oz
    September 7th, 2012 @ 1:41 pm

    Oh my gosh yes. The gusto with which Madison can fold her harms, scrunch her nose, furrow her eyebrows and exclaim “I’m mad” is mind blowing. This is almost always followed by a dramatic exit/slamming of the door/screaming combination that results with Clint and I looking at each other and deciding whether or not to laugh or cry.

  5. Darlene
    September 7th, 2012 @ 1:50 pm

    My son turned 3 in June… and I too feel 3 is worse than 2! I thought it was just my lil boy with the door slamming… I frequently look @ my fiance and say “really?? Really!!” Makes me feel better that others are going through the same thing!

  6. Barbara Hamill
    September 7th, 2012 @ 3:06 pm

    Three is ALL ABOUT DRAMA. I don’t know why they call it the terrible two’s, I can tell you as the mother of 4 kids, once they turn 3 you can basically just sit and wait for their heads to start spinning around and the crazy to spew forth. And it goes for a bit, don’t be alarmed. It’s exactly as if he has suddenly lost his mind, and it will last, if mine are anything to go by, until just before they turn 4. When they suddenly seem to go, wow, holy crap, dude, what just happened??? This too shall pass, hang in there!!!

  7. Samantha
    September 7th, 2012 @ 4:05 pm

    Roxy turned 3 on Wednesday. I am right there with you!

  8. Delia
    September 7th, 2012 @ 5:37 pm

    I’ve been thinking that C was a little sensitive. After more thought, I’ve realize he’s just dramatic. He’ll be fine with something one day, and melt down about it the next. I’m with you – I’d love to know which child wakes up in my house each day. The guessing keeps me on my toes.

  9. Melisa S.
    September 7th, 2012 @ 9:25 pm

    Three has by far been way worse than 2 ever was! Some tell me it is this way until they are 5…God help us all!

  10. Laurie
    September 8th, 2012 @ 8:04 am

    I remember being in a mom’s club when my kiddos were 3ish. We had a child specialist speak one day and she asked how old a child is before they share nicely. We all said two and definitely by three. She informed us it is more like four and really closer to five. We were all stunned! Sure helped me better navigate those crazy outbursts! Hang in there!

  11. KeAnne
    September 8th, 2012 @ 10:39 am

    Yes, yes, yes! D turned three in June and I swear it was like someone flipped a switch overnight. The whining. The crying. The limit-testing. The drama. I keep wondering how I ended up w/ a noisy teenage girl. I’m currently reading Your Three Year Old: Friend or Enemy for help.

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