Taking Care of Me

Posted on | October 9, 2012 | 8 Comments

This was me in 10th Grade… I think I could have eaten another grape.

I had terrible body image in high school and I mean terrible.  I distinctly remember counting the grapes out when I packed my lunch so that I didn’t eat too many calories and looking back, I was TINY.  So one of the main things I wanted to work on when I had a child was being happy with my body the way it is and instilling confidence in my child about his body.  I never wanted to be the mom who was constantly complaining and dieting and being miserable about how I look.

But despite my lofty expectations, I looked around at my life and realized I WAS that mom.  I was always complaining about not having time to work out.  I was always complaining about the fact that I’d gained weight, the fact that I was over my pre-pregnancy weight and out of the shape I used to be in. Becoming a single parent seemed to give me the excuses I needed to give up on finding time to work out, finding time to be healthy.

And honestly? I have been really freaking miserable.

It seemed like such a daunting task though.  How could I possibly find the time and the opportunity and the child care necessary to actually get out and do something about the body I was lugging around with me? At first, I tried to do the 30 Day Shred and I kept it up for about a week before something got in the way one day and I lost my focus.  Then I tried to take J and go for walks… and then it rained and I stopped.  I was finding every excuse to be lazy… my period started, my son was sick, my back hurt, J needed me to lay down with him to sleep so I might as well just go to bed.  I was full on becoming the exact mom I didn’t want to be.  I was teaching my son exactly what I didn’t want to teach him… he was learning through my actions that becoming a parent meant losing yourself.  I was teaching him that moms don’t really need to be healthy or attractive or in shape.

And I am NOT okay with that.

Luckily, I had a one year review with my boss and she asked for suggestions of things that might improve my job and she listened.  She really listened.

Now I and every other member of our firm have a fully paid membership to the gym across the street.  I’ve worked out two days in a row and I’m going again today.  I want to be better about taking care of myself.  I want to teach my son that it’s important to put yourself first on occasion… especially when it’s your health.  So I’m putting myself a little ahead, I’m putting my health a little ahead … because it’s important to me that I become the role model that my son deserves.  It’s important to me that I teach him how to care for his body by showing him that I care for mine.

I’d like to lose 20 pounds but even if I never drop a single pound, I want my actions to show my son that taking care of his body is one of the most important things he can do.

Comments

8 Responses to “Taking Care of Me”

  1. Rebecca
    October 9th, 2012 @ 9:30 am

    This is fantastic! Way to go for being proactive and making your well being a priority. It’s easy for us all (moms) to buy into the lie that it’s selfish to focus on ourselves ever. But it’s just that. A lie.

  2. Law Momma
    October 9th, 2012 @ 10:36 am

    True. And yeah, I’m a little worried about how J will adjust to going to the gym daycare… but it’s for one hour. I can easily make it up to him.

  3. KeAnne
    October 9th, 2012 @ 11:16 am

    Good for you! I need to make time for myself to do the same. We have a treadmill upstairs that hasn’t been turned on in 3 years. Ugh.

  4. Law Momma
    October 9th, 2012 @ 11:55 am

    It’s so hard to take the first step. But I really ENJOY working out once I start back up. I always forget that part…

  5. kristinayellow
    October 9th, 2012 @ 12:13 pm

    That is awesome! I love that your boss is being so supportive–talk about a win win for you both. I had this same discussion with myself when I had DD–I never wanted her to hear “I am so fat” or “I hate how I look” or whatever from me because I still hear my mom say that she needs to lose 5 lbs and I grew up with body image issues and eating issues because of that. I want DD to know that it’s more important to be healthy and strong and your body doesn’t need to look like anyone elses. If it makes you happy, that’s all that matters. And I’ve realized that I’ve slipped. I’ve forgotten and I’ve said things about myself while saying the opposite about her. Thanks for the reminder and the motivation.

  6. Law Momma
    October 9th, 2012 @ 1:06 pm

    Yeah… it’s a really awesome perk to give. I plan to take full advantage. And you’re right… it’s so hard to remember that what we say and how we act soak into our little ones without even realizing it. So by going to the gym, I don’t have to remember to say “exercise is important” because I’m SHOWING him.

  7. Lola M.
    October 9th, 2012 @ 12:42 pm

    In 10th grade you didn’t have the sexy curves you do now. I don’t know if it helps, but when I exercise on the days it’s hard, I think, “It’s only 20 minutes … that’s not any time.” Then, on the days when it’s not difficult, I go for as long as I can — but never more than 45 min. tops … It’s easier when I make the time smaller in my head.

  8. Law Momma
    October 9th, 2012 @ 1:04 pm

    Ha! Thanks. And yeah… I’m going through that today. Trying to say to myself… it’s just 30 minutes… you can spend longer than that on the phone with a difficult client and no one is playing Black Eyed Peas for you!

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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