What Happened to Real Men?

Posted on | January 24, 2013 | 21 Comments

It shouldn’t be so hard.

You meet a guy, you go out, you have a few laughs.  Somewhere a long the way, you hold hands… you whisper secrets… you share jokes that no one else knows.  And then one day you realize, maybe that he’s right in more ways than he’s wrong, that he fits you in more ways than he doesn’t… that he loves you the way you should be loved: fully, completely, with touches of annoyance and flippant eye rolls.

It just shouldn’t be so hard.

Since I started dating again, I’ve discovered two very important truths about the most of the male species:

(1) They are all quite content just to find someone to have sex with; and (2) anything on top of sex is really just something they put up with for the sake of having sex.

Women aren’t like that, fellas.  When we go on a date with you, for most of us, we’re not just biding time until we can get you naked and “Hit that.” We’re not asking you to take us to dinner so that we can engage in conversational foreplay leading up to you getting us naked in the back seat of a rental car or the sofa of your living room.  We are actually trying to get to know you.

See, for most women, there are also two truths:

(1) We are looking for a man who respects, engages, and brings out our dual nature… call us the Naughty Madonnas, if you will; and (2) if we sleep with you on the first date, it’s because we pretty much don’t see any future with you in any way.

Women aren’t looking for a cheap thrill in the backseat, at least not long term.  You know what we want? Someone to make us laugh.  Someone who makes us wish that maybe, just maybe, we WERE the kind of girl who would sleep with you on the first date.  We’re looking for someone who does NOT pull his penis out in the front seat of a car at the end of a first date and ask us if we’ll “just lick it, just once.”

THAT IS NOT ATTRACTIVE, FELLAS!

It doesn’t turn me on to get a picture of your penis or for you to wave it in my face.  For the last time, let me make this perfectly clear … male genitalia is necessary, NOT pretty.

It shouldn’t be this hard to find an actual man amidst the boys who are parading around in their father’s shoes, pretending to be something more than Anthony Weiner or an overgrown 13 year old.  It shouldn’t be so hard to stress to the male species that if you want a woman to give you what you want, you MUST give her what she’s looking for, too.

For 99% of the single women I know, what she’s looking for isn’t your penis… sorry to disappoint.  What she’s looking for is someone to wake her up, to shake her up… to make her feel like she’s more than just who she is every day of the week, 12 months a year.  What she’s looking for is a real man.

And he shouldn’t be this hard to find.

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