But What About AFTER Potty Training…

Posted on | October 17, 2013 | 8 Comments

When I was newly single, I remember saying to my mother:

“Well, one good thing is that my toilet is invariably MUCH cleaner now without having a man in the house.”

She sort of snickered a little, in a “just you wait” kind of way, and voiced a half-hearted agreement.

And then J got potty trained.

At first, it wasn’t so bad. I mean, he would sit down on the toilet to pee during the first part of training because he wasn’t tall enough to reach the toilet any other way.  So my toilet cleaning days were pretty easy… no pee on the seats, never any underneath the seat… just spray, wipe, and done. It was like heaven after four years of cleaning up after a man in the house.

But lately, the “man” card is being expressed in my child in strange ways. He doesn’t have accidents anymore. There are very few times when he will be playing and just forget to go to the restroom to pee.  However.

Oh however.

Now, it’s like a race of epic proportions. I swear he waits until the last possible minute, races full speed to the bathroom, tugs down his pants and just…. pees. Everywhere.  There is pee on the seat.  There is pee on the back of the toilet lid.  Sometimes, there is pee on the floor. ON THE FLOOR. I don’t know if he just goes in and spins around in a circle or if he actually tries to aim for these things, but lately going the bathroom has become a bit of an adventure. I can’t just go to the bathroom anymore. Now it’s like a hazmat suit is necessary just to sit on the toilet seat. I’ll think I’ve cleaned up everything and invariably once I sit, there will be a spot I missed and I shudder a little because I’m actively sitting in someone else’s pee. Nevermind that I created him.

I can’t even count the number of times I’ve said “Lift the toilet seat” or “take your time” or even “AIM, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, AIM!” Does it get better? Am in line for a future consisting of pee all over everything for the rest of his youth? I just don’t know. What I do know is that I think back to that snicker my mother made when I bragged about a clean toilet… and I imagine she was trying to tell me then that little boys are gross.

Really, really, gross.


8 Responses to “But What About AFTER Potty Training…”

  1. lc
    October 17th, 2013 @ 11:09 am

    I’ve been thinking my bed sheets smelled “funny” for a week or so and finally found time to change them yestetday. Taking the sheets off the bed revealed the classic urine circle on the mattress cover. Turns out I’ve been sleeping on my son’s (dried) pee for days! Isn’t motherhood glamerous.

  2. Law Momma
    October 17th, 2013 @ 11:15 am

    Hahahahahahaha… been there, done that.

  3. Amy
    October 17th, 2013 @ 12:16 pm

    The eight year old still has the same issues you discuss. He always waits til last second, pee gets on floor, and he NEVER. EVER. lifts the seat. Work in progress….maybe one day?!

  4. Law Momma
    October 18th, 2013 @ 8:51 am

    Great. So it continues….

  5. Amy
    October 17th, 2013 @ 5:56 pm

    I heard of one family painting a bullseye in the toilet so the child would have something fun to aim at and the parents wouldn’t have so much cleanup. I’ve also heard of mom throwing in a Cheerio and telling the child to aim at that, but if he goes to the bathroom that might not work out unless you can teach him to put the Cheerio in and aim for it.

  6. Law Momma
    October 18th, 2013 @ 8:51 am

    That seems like a lot of work… hahaha 😉

  7. Lola M.
    October 18th, 2013 @ 2:10 pm

    Oh my gah! I remember being totally awed by what my son could do in 30 seconds! They’re like a wayward fire hose … if you don’t hold it still it will just do all sorts of things … Now he’s twelve and I cannot figure out how he gets it on the base of the toilet – nowhere else.

  8. Ruth Anne
    October 22nd, 2013 @ 3:28 pm

    I have two boys, ages 7 and 6. They are disgusting in their bathroom habits. They even lift the seat and lower it when they are done (maybe one of my biggest accomplishments ever). But. STILL there is pee in the most unlikeliest of places!! I’m talking, the wall behind the toilet. The base (in front AND on the sides… WHAT??). Under the seat, near the hinge. I detest the smell of urine. I have placed a bowl of baking soda behind the toilet. I’ve bought deodorizers. I’ve bought those fragrance reeds. I wipe down the toilet with a Clorox wipe every.single.day.

    It still smells like pee. I don’t know what else to do/try!

    I feel for you. I’m lucky, in that I have a separate toilet I can use… I stay away from theirs like my life depends on it. 😉

  • Creative Commons License
    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at http://www.law-momma.com.
  • Twitter

  • Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner


  • Grab my button for your blog!