Halloween: A Scary Story

Posted on | October 31, 2013 | 4 Comments

My Facebook this morning is cloaked in perfectly carved pumpkins, perfectly costumed babies, adorably smiling children in matching shirts or outfits, and the faint smell of “Dude, I rocked Halloween, see?”

On my page, you will see nothing.

That’s because we carved pumpkins like three weeks ago, put them on the porch because that’s where they belong, and then threw them away two days later because it’s Georgia and they basically super rotted in 24 hours. I have a “fall” wreath that I bought a few years ago but I couldn’t find it, so there’s nothing on my door to mark any season at all. This morning, J woke up in a pissed off mood, despite the fact that I oh-so-cleverly put a left over cupcake on a plate and called it breakfast. He whined straight through his shower, complained that his clothes hurt his body, and told me that school is stupid and he hates it.

Before we left, I noticed that J had peed all over the seat of the toilet… and I left it there. There are clothes in the dryer that need to be folded and clothes in the washer that need to be dried and my floors are screaming for a mop to touch them, just once. You know… just like every other day in my life. Nothing special here.

We were running so late that J was in the drop off line, meaning I couldn’t walk in with him like I normally do, and when his teacher threw open the door and exclaimed “Happy Halloween!” he merely grunted and looked at her like she was nuts.

I made it to work where no one is dressed up except a lone paralegal who has on glowing blue horns, though she may wear them daily… I don’t know. I just don’t pay that kind of attention these days. You know, because I’m overworked and have pee on my toilet seat I can’t be bothered to clean.

We are planning to go Trick or Treating tonight with two of J’s friends from his old school. Last year, I was super excited about J’s costume and had spent a lot of time deciding what he’d be. This year, he announced he wanted to be Spiderman, and we picked up an on sale costume at Target. I volunteered to bring dinner, which last year maybe would have been something creative and adorable, but this year will be pizza. From Little Caesars.

Life goes on, ya know? I just don’t have time for jack-o-lantern shaped pancakes, do-it-yourself fancy wreaths, or special treats for the classroom. So Happy Halloween, from the girl with nothing to show for it except a kid who will bathe in sugar tonight and wake up in an equally foul mood tomorrow.  We do LIFE around here, not holidays.

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