Who Run the World?

Posted on | February 4, 2014 | 15 Comments

It’s easy to fall into a slump when you’re dating someone… especially post-divorce. I mean, let’s face it… when I was married, I did stuff with my spouse. Sure, we took the kid most everywhere we went, but I rarely did anything with girlfriends because I had to do things with him. So when I got divorced, I made it a point to really try to invest in some girlfriends. Women to set up play dates with, women who ran half-marathons with me, women who really got me on an emotionally intimate level. I worshiped my women friends, y’all, because obviously you SHOULD and also because I had forgotten how awesome it was to have women around to talk to.As much as I’ve always said I have more guy friends than girls, there’s just so much that men can’t understand about, well… being female. I love my guy friends, but there’s nothing like a bottle (or three) of wine and a heart full of laughter while surrounded by some of your best lady friends. It was probably the best thing about getting divorced… rediscovering the power of female friendship.

And then I did something I swore I’d never do… I fell in love and subsequently forgot to make time for my friends.

Seriously.

It’s not ENTIRELY my fault, because when you’re a single mom and your boyfriend lives an hour away and you only see him on the weekends, it’s hard to convince yourself that you should NOT see him and see your friends instead. So I postponed and rescheduled and forgot to call back until I found myself staring at my phone one day and wondering when the last time was that I actually had a real, honest to goodness conversation with another female WITHOUT my son intervening in four second intervals.

That? That is not okay.

As much as I love being head over heels for Banks, I can’t make him my whole world. I can’t wrap myself around him to the exclusion of the women who let me unburden my soul to them on the phone, on the internet, and in person. I can’t just stop being me… not again… not this time. And unlike some men I’ve dated, Banks wouldn’t want me to. I miss that interaction… the warmth that comes from sharing souls with a girlfriend over pizza or beer or hell, both.

So tonight, all bets are off. Tonight, I’m putting on my good jeans and going to a fancy dinner with a good friend I haven’t spent nearly enough time with in the past 8 or 9 months. And then tomorrow… I’m shacking up at a retreat for the night with another good friend. Lest my sweet Jana and Sandy think I’ve forgotten them… they are on my list and they will be sick of me soon.

Don’t neglect your girlfriends, ladies. Not even for someone special. Not even for someone amazing.

Because who would we even BE without our girls???

Comments

15 Responses to “Who Run the World?”

  1. Roxanne Piskel
    February 4th, 2014 @ 2:40 pm

    Yes. A million times yes. I fell into that trap in my first post-divorce relationship and it took one of those amazing women to talk to me about it. It’s just another aspect of our lives that needs to be balanced. Our see-saw has many sides. Sometimes we lean too far one way, but then a little push in the other direction rights us up again.

    I’m terrible at metaphors, but I think I didn’t screw that one up too bad.

    XO

  2. Law Momma
    February 4th, 2014 @ 2:44 pm

    It made perfect sense to me. 🙂 🙂

  3. Alena @ SimplyComplicatedLife
    February 4th, 2014 @ 2:42 pm

    I miss you! <3

  4. Law Momma
    February 4th, 2014 @ 2:44 pm

    AMISH YOU TOO!!!!!!!

  5. frelle
    February 4th, 2014 @ 2:43 pm

    I’m glad you’re getting in some girl time!

  6. Law Momma
    February 4th, 2014 @ 2:44 pm

    Me too! It’s overdue.

  7. stephanie perry
    February 4th, 2014 @ 3:54 pm

    yes! Absolutely! Good female friends are so completely empowering and important. So glad your guy(s) support that and that you’ve recognized it in yourself. Girl power!

  8. Law Momma
    February 4th, 2014 @ 3:55 pm

    ::Fist bump::

  9. thisgirltv
    February 4th, 2014 @ 4:25 pm

    I have been thinking about this lately. Thanks for writing this!

  10. Law Momma
    February 5th, 2014 @ 9:29 am

    Thanks for READING! 🙂

  11. Sharon
    February 4th, 2014 @ 5:05 pm

    Proud to say, I’ve been married over five years and have never neglected my female friendships for a man. . . not even in the early halcyon dating days with my husband. (If anything, I have neglected them more since my sons were born two years ago, but fortunately, they have all been pretty understanding about that, esp. the ones who are moms themselves.)

    My friends are some of the most important people in my life!

  12. Law Momma
    February 5th, 2014 @ 9:29 am

    Ain’t that the truth! It’s hard with kids but you just have to make it work. 🙂

  13. Robbie K
    February 4th, 2014 @ 7:55 pm

    Hell yes! My friends have gotten me thru many dark parts of my life and celebrated the good times too.

  14. Law Momma
    February 5th, 2014 @ 9:29 am

    Got to love women friendships. 🙂

  15. TarynB
    February 12th, 2014 @ 12:54 pm

    Yep!! I’ve had a few friends who have totally ditched me post-divorce.. but the ones who have stuck around, they’re priceless. And we’ll go have dinner on Thursday night and laugh ourselves silly 🙂

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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