Posted on | February 4, 2014 | 15 Comments
It’s easy to fall into a slump when you’re dating someone… especially post-divorce. I mean, let’s face it… when I was married, I did stuff with my spouse. Sure, we took the kid most everywhere we went, but I rarely did anything with girlfriends because I had to do things with him. So when I got divorced, I made it a point to really try to invest in some girlfriends. Women to set up play dates with, women who ran half-marathons with me, women who really got me on an emotionally intimate level. I worshiped my women friends, y’all, because obviously you SHOULD and also because I had forgotten how awesome it was to have women around to talk to.As much as I’ve always said I have more guy friends than girls, there’s just so much that men can’t understand about, well… being female. I love my guy friends, but there’s nothing like a bottle (or three) of wine and a heart full of laughter while surrounded by some of your best lady friends. It was probably the best thing about getting divorced… rediscovering the power of female friendship.
And then I did something I swore I’d never do… I fell in love and subsequently forgot to make time for my friends.
It’s not ENTIRELY my fault, because when you’re a single mom and your boyfriend lives an hour away and you only see him on the weekends, it’s hard to convince yourself that you should NOT see him and see your friends instead. So I postponed and rescheduled and forgot to call back until I found myself staring at my phone one day and wondering when the last time was that I actually had a real, honest to goodness conversation with another female WITHOUT my son intervening in four second intervals.
That? That is not okay.
As much as I love being head over heels for Banks, I can’t make him my whole world. I can’t wrap myself around him to the exclusion of the women who let me unburden my soul to them on the phone, on the internet, and in person. I can’t just stop being me… not again… not this time. And unlike some men I’ve dated, Banks wouldn’t want me to. I miss that interaction… the warmth that comes from sharing souls with a girlfriend over pizza or beer or hell, both.
So tonight, all bets are off. Tonight, I’m putting on my good jeans and going to a fancy dinner with a good friend I haven’t spent nearly enough time with in the past 8 or 9 months. And then tomorrow… I’m shacking up at a retreat for the night with another good friend. Lest my sweet Jana and Sandy think I’ve forgotten them… they are on my list and they will be sick of me soon.
Don’t neglect your girlfriends, ladies. Not even for someone special. Not even for someone amazing.
Because who would we even BE without our girls???