Posted on | January 26, 2015 | No Comments
When J comes back from visiting his dad, he always gets the option of sleeping in my bed the first night back. It started a while back as a way for us to catch up after a weekend away. He climbs in my bed, we read a little, and then he talks about his weekend until he falls asleep, his arms sprawled out across everything and often with his fingers wrapped in my hair. It’s not the most comfortable rest I get, but it’s worth it for the time together.
Last night, it was doubly worth it, because around 3:30 in the morning, a loud noise erupted in the kitchen/living room of my house. My bedroom door was wide open, a towel draped over the door to dry and I lay still and quiet, my heart pounding. J was still sleeping soundly beside me. Riley hadn’t made any effort to bark or growl, and I couldn’t hear anything else.
Still there had been a loud noise.
You guys, I’m so embarrassed by myself.
See, in my head, I’m a badass. I’m all “Momma Bear to the rescue” and I do awesome things like high kick burglars in the face. In my head, nothing can stop me from protecting my son at all costs.
Last night, however, “head” me met real me. And found out she’s a real pansy. Because when I heard that noise, I lay very, very still. I held my breath. I listened for footsteps. I started to think “What kind of burglar would be able to break in without making any noise and then would knock over something so big?” I started to think that if he (or she) really wanted to hurt someone, there would be footsteps pounding down the hallway toward my room because they’d already alerted me to their presence. I started thinking that OBVIOUSLY whoever this was (or wasn’t) didn’t have any intention of hurting me or J so there was really no reason to be afraid. You know how, when you’re a kid, you think that if no part of you sticks out of the covers, no one can get you? That may have also become a reality in my room last night, with J swaddled up in a comforter and my eyes peeking just over the top of a sheet. Women everywhere actually took a giant leap backwards in their quest for equality because of my night.
I lay in bed, still as the dead, for the better part of 45 minutes. And when no one came to the door, when no footsteps sounded on the hardwood floors, I finally grabbed my cell phone, flipped on the flashlight and tore head over heels to the bedroom door, where I ripped the towel off, slammed the door shut, locked it, and… inexplicably… placed the empty laundry basket in front of the door.
Because nothing stops a burglar like an empty laundry basket.
Luckily, after reading several chapters of a book with one ear on the door, the sun came up and I crept out to find that Riley had thrown her plastic bone across the den in a fun game of “Let’s scare the crap out of Mommy.” And J and I survived the night. So all in all, it’s a win, I guess.
Laundry basket #1, Burglars #0.