Learning to Be

Posted on | May 11, 2015 | 3 Comments

Oh hi, remember me?

No? Yeah… I figured. Seeing as how I’ve sort of dropped off the face of the Earth, what with work and life and imbalance and stuff. It’s hard work to do all the things, am I right?? But Mother’s Day brought with it a soft but insistent reminder that I need to do more to take care of ME not just everyone else. Because if I can’t take care of myself, how can I possibly be good at caring for anyone else?

I’ve never been all that good at self care, something that became infinitely more obvious to me last week, when I made the decision to get up at 5am to either write or maybe to mediate or read the Bible. I thought it would be good to set aside some quiet time; time just for myself, ya know? In my head, that time looked a little like this: feet tucked under, curled up on the sofa with a steaming cup of coffee and either my iPad or the Good Book. Maybe there would be muffins. Maybe there would just be the sweet call of backyard owls as I focused on my breathing: inhale the good, exhale the bad. In any event, it would be peaceful and quiet and just what I needed.

Except that no. Not even slightly.

What ACTUALLY happened, was that I hit snooze for a good 30 minutes, stumbling out of bed at 5:30 and proceeding to use that 30 minute head start to get ready for work. So by the time I was actually ready to sit down and do anything other than straighten my hair and put on makeup, J was up and asking for breakfast. My “quiet time” consisted of me reminding him, on repeat, that I was having quiet time, dammit, and couldn’t he see how peaceful I was trying to be?

Clearly this whole self-care thing will need some work. But I’m still determined. It’s just going to take a realization that it’s okay to just get up and BE for a while. I don’t have to rush around to get everything finished before I take care of myself… before I do what I set out to do in the first place. Because there’s always more to do. From now until my dying breath, there will ALWAYS be a list a mile long of things I could be DOING. But really, BEING is so much more important than doing.  And I think it’s time I learned to just be.

Comments

3 Responses to “Learning to Be”

  1. Sharon
    May 11th, 2015 @ 2:04 pm

    This is something I struggle with as well. And I have tried getting up earlier, either to meditate or to exercise, and it only seems to result either in my hitting snooze a bunch of times (because I’m always super tired) or in my sons waking up earlier than usual and spoiling my well-laid plans.

    I get it. Kudos to you for trying.

  2. Michelle
    May 11th, 2015 @ 2:58 pm

    Clearly that time of day isn’t going to work for you! Try a different time! Just try!!

  3. Law Momma
    May 12th, 2015 @ 9:15 am

    Yeah… I think early mornings are just not going to cut it. Maybe late evenings are where it’s at. 😉

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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