A Mending of Hearts
I had my first heartbreak when I was a senior in college. I remember calling and calling when it was finally over, wondering what went wrong and how to fix it… isn’t that the way with first heartbreaks? No matter what age? Looking back, I shudder when I think about how lost I was for [...]
Smallish Set Backs
I failed my son this weekend. Oh, and I was so massively embarrased about it. I am so massively embarrassed about it. But we all make mistakes, right? We all do stupid things that we wish we could take back. On Friday, J’s father came to pick him up for the weekend… my first break in [...]
The Brutal Truth: Part Seven
I waited until he had left to call because I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to face him. I wanted full control… again. I needed full access… again. He happily gave me the passwords to his accounts and I went studiously about the business of checking up after him. I ran through his emails, [...]
The Brutal Truth: Part Six
What on Earth would people think? That was my primary concern. From the moment he proposed, I was a woman on a mission. Husband, house, baby, career… I wanted it all. Color me a two-story brick house with a side of white picket fence, apron around my waist and husband and dog running around the [...]
The Brutal Truth: Part Five
Sorry for the delay in an AM installment… this morning I was the happy recipient of a motor vehicle accident that made me late for court. No injuries except to my pride and my vehicle… But that’s a story for another time. You’re here for a different tale, today. It was just a normal Saturday, [...]
The Brutal Truth: Part Four
Besides, I told myself, time and again… it wasn’t as though it was all bad. We still had good times. We still met for lunch several times a week for Indian buffet or my favorite quick pick restaurant downtown. We laughed and shared jokes, we played with J, we went for evening walks together. Marriage [...]
The Brutal Truth: Part Three
We were having a baby. What could matter more than that? What could possibly ruin our lives from that point on? I was swept away by the magic of it all; becoming a mother, growing a child. I read all the “your baby today” excerpts on every website. I knew on any given day just how big [...]
The Brutal Truth: Part Two
I never really knew how to be a wife. Finding the nuances of being friend, wife and lover didn’t come naturally to me. My idea of “wife” didn’t comport with my idea of lover… as far as I was concerned, my parents had sex three times… my sister, me, and my brother. Wives were not sexual. Wives [...]
The Brutal Truth: Part One
One year ago today I realized my marriage was 100%, irretrievably, never coming back together broken. “My heart is broken. My soul is wounded. My faith in other people is shaken to the core. But the human heart is resilient. The immortal soul can heal. Faith can be restored even when it is so dark [...]
Taking Control
When I first separated from my husband, the hardest thing for me to swallow was the fact that there were people out there, there were women out there, who believed I was a terrible person. There were people who believed him when he said I was a crappy wife and a mean woman. There were [...]


