There Are Only So Many Words for “Piss” and “Crap”

I can not get the smell of pee out of my nose or the feeling that I have poop on me somewhere out of my head.  It’s like going back in time to when I first became a mom, only so much worse. There is pee on our sofa, pee on our rug, pee on […]

Semi-Navigating The Doldrums

In high school, college and even in law school, we had a Spring Break.  It fell during the period between Christmas/New Year’s Eve and Easter … a welcome breather to break up the loooooong stretch of time between, well… breaks. Now that I’m out in “the real world” I crave a Spring Break. This long […]

A Mother’s Prayer

This morning marked the first time in a long time that I cried on the way to work.  But this morning was different… I didn’t cry for the loss of my marriage or my husband, I cried for a mother’s loss.  I cried for a mother I do not even know. A mother who faced […]

The Reluctant Not-so-Super Not-so-Heroic Me

Tomorrow, all of this becomes real. I know that I haven’t lived in the same house with my “husband” since the beginning of April and these things should have been beaten into my brain by now,  but tomorrow means that all of this wasn’t just a bad dream.  Tomorrow I will get up, shower, get […]

The Worst Part

I don’t know what the worst of it really is. The worst part might just be knowing there’s no break on the horizon.  No matter how frustrated or exhausted or broken I get, there is never anyone else to bring in for the second quarter.  If J is sick or tired or hungry or angry, […]

Did You Say CAKE?

All I have to say for myself is “ugh.” Times a million. Just when things start looking up? Life throws a curve ball. And curve balls make me hungry. This time, my curve ball is in the form of J being sick. Again.  Seriously? Is my kid EVER going to be well for a full […]

There’s No Earthly Way of Knowing… What Direction We are Goooooing

The world looks different when you aren’t sleeping. Honest. I don’t suggest you try it, but if you’d like to know what I’m talking about, just stay awake for several days. Everything starts to take on a bit of a technicolor sheen… like you just stepped out of your house and into Oz. Green is […]

Rambling On and On (and on…)

This weekend marked the end of a mini-era. On Saturday morning I packed up tiny shirts and pants, a bouncy seat, a jumperoo, a bazillion and three swaddle blankets, two tiny pair of shoes, a coat that looks like a teddy bear, and three play mats for infants. I packed them up in several big […]

Please send Sleep Fairy ASAP

If I were to write the actual post that’s in my head today, it would consist of one word. That word would be in all caps, bold, and underlined. And in really large font. What is that word? I’ll give you a hint… it starts with F and ends with the last three letters of […]

Baby Proofing

Please tell me how to effectively babyproof my house. Please. I’m begging you. Because I am sitting here, surveying the rooms around me and I haven’t the slightest idea how to protect my son from hidden dangers. Hell, I don’t really know how to protect him from completely out in the open dangers! I’ve done […]

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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