It Really Does Hurt Me More

Lately I’ve felt a bit like a tightrope walker, balancing on the thin line that hovers between playmate and parent.  I’m tediously balanced, by virtue of being a single parent to a single child, and at any minute I feel as though I’m going to topple down into some decidedly evil pit of snakes or [...]

Becoming Mom Material

Before, eons and eons ago when I was not someone’s mother, I thought that motherhood might not be for me.  I worried that I wouldn’t “take to it” … that I’d be bad at loving someone else the way they needed to be loved… that I’d be impatient and imprecise and in every way imperfect.  [...]

Some Days…

Last night I had a babysitter so I could go out to dinner with a friend.  When I got home at 8:40, J was nearly but not-quite asleep and he bounded awake like he hadn’t seen me in days instead of hours.  It took more than an hour for him to wind down and more [...]

A Lesson in Compassion

One time, when my son was only a bit younger, I took a shower and left him playing quietly with his toys.  I didn’t really think too much about it: I’m a single mom, I have to shower, and cages are frowned upon. It was only when I was out and dressed that I realized [...]

No Really, It’s Still Gross.

Before I had kids, I always laughed at the depiction of the “typical” overbearing mother, licking her own finger and using it as a scrub brush for the children’s faces.  It was gross and disgusting and un-hygienic and CLEARLY no real mother would actually do anything that sick, right? I swore it was something I’d [...]

Boys Will Be Boys

One of the things I wanted to be sure to do with J while he was young was instill in him the importance of believing in something bigger than him.  As a result, once we got back to Macon, we started going to Wednesday night supper at a local church.  Two of his friends from [...]

Pinterest Parenting? Nah, I’m Good.

I used to be one of the many:  the mom pacing the floor, totally worried people would think I’m an absentee mother, nursing my working mom guilt while I waited anxiously for the sign up sheet on this or that party to be pasted to the door so I could rush up with an eager [...]

Children Do Better With Parents Who Get It Together

There’s a billboard just outside my town and coincidentally, I pass it every time I take J to meet up with his grandparents for his visitation weekends with his father.  It sits on the left-hand side of the road, so I only see it on my way up, never on my way back.  You’d think [...]

Promises

Last night, J told me he doesn’t like to go to sleep when he visits his father because he “dreams scary” when he’s there.  He told me that while he’s away from home he dreams that I’ve gone away and left him forever. Today is a really long time for a little boy.  Forever is… [...]

Never Doubt That One Life Can Make a Difference

On Friday, I picked J up early for a trip to the doctor then took him back to work with me for the afternoon.  When the news came in about what happened in Connecticut, he was firmly ensconced in my lap, watching videos on the iPod while I sobbed quietly onto my keyboard. All day, [...]