Just when I thought I’d seen it all…

Posted on | April 3, 2010 | 4 Comments

I should have learned by now that being a mom means seeing things you never thought you’d see… like a person recently sprouted from inside you, or even snot running from both sides of a nose into that little person’s mouth. But I guess with all the medical procedures and tests along with the reflux and magical upwards poops, I was feeling pretty confident that babydom had little left to throw at me. That was until this morning…

It started out pretty normal for the week. J woke up with both eyes crusted shut and immediately began yelling. I fed my crusty-eyed son and then stumbled out of bed for wet cotton balls to open his little eyes. I changed his sopping wet diaper and started to put his pjs back on only to realize he’d peed all over them while I was changing him. I grabbed another outfit and fought it on to him while “doo doo-ing” the Rocky Raccoon interlude because for some reason it’s the only thing that ALWAYS makes him smile.

We made it out into the living room and I made some chai tea while he played in his Exersaucer/Poop Chair. When I came back into the living room, I noticed a large spot on the carpet. Crap. The dog had thrown up last night on my newly cleaned house. Awesome. I pull out a towel, wet it, and start the clean up process. J started screaming to be picked up about this time so I put the cleaning stuff away and picked him up. I flipped on the TV (DON’T JUDGE ME IT’S EARLY AND THE COFFEE POT IS DIRTY). Caillou was on so I thought “great. At least he’ll be calm.” He watched for a little while but kept squirming. I apparently was not quite awake still because it was a good ten minutes before I noticed there was poop. All over his stomach. All over his bottom. All down his legs. And oh God the dog did NOT throw up on the carpet.

It was poop. POOP. On the carpet. I don’t even pretend to know how I missed all this but when I go back to the spot it’s so clearly J poop I want to shoot myself in the face. What is the matter with me?!?! And on that same note, what is the matter with my kid!? How does a kid who is standing up in an exersaucer poop out of his diaper, down his leg and onto the carpet… and yet get NOTHING on the exersaucer. I know this, because I checked. Three times. And washed it anyway.

So yeah. My morning started out normal and then slowly dissolved into poop on the carpet courtesy of my kid. Good times.

Stay Tuned for the winners of the Resume giveaway! I’m using Random Number Generator and will post the results as soon as I scrub the skin off my hands to get the poop smell out. Happy Saturday!


4 Responses to “Just when I thought I’d seen it all…”

  1. Not There Yet
    April 3rd, 2010 @ 2:33 pm

    Oh no!!! Well, maybe you have the worst behind you and the weekend can only improve from there, right? (Or maybe I should not have put that in writing!)

  2. Cindy
    April 3rd, 2010 @ 2:42 pm

    I am pretty sure your weekend can only get better?!

  3. Eliza
    April 3rd, 2010 @ 3:49 pm

    I truly will never understand how these little tiny people can make such crazy poop-splosions! Baffling!

  4. My Mercurial Nature
    April 3rd, 2010 @ 4:37 pm

    I'm with the above…things can only improve, right? Start airing out the house now and, well, consider just wrapping the kiddo in a large garbage sack from the waist down. 😉

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at http://www.law-momma.com.
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