Rational Irrationality

Posted on | October 12, 2010 | 5 Comments

I have a problem.

Husband calls it lack of common sense but I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate. I don’t really know what to call it, I just know that I could literally get injured in a padded room while wearing a big poofy robe and slippers. It’s a curse. Or a gift, if you’re a doctor, paramedic, fireman, or locksmith. My problem is I have these really insightful moments where I’m all “aha! I shouldn’t do XYZ because it’s going to probably end up hurting me!” So instead, I’ll opt for ABC, which is often more dangerous, more stupid, and more disastrous than XYZ would ever be.

Case in point, last night.

I was happily making tater tots to soothe my spirit. Seriously? Nothing soothes a wounded spirit like potatoes. Maybe it’s the Irish in me, who knows. I just know that potato soup, baked potatoes with sour cream and chives, tater tots, and mashed potatoes with cheddar and garlic can and will solve any problem. Except the size of my ass, but that’s another issue for another day. I’m on a tangent, sorry… where was I? Oh… making tater tots.

I had them on a baking tray with four Morningstar Chik’n Nuggets and I opened the oven to turn the nuggets over. Husband was outside smoking a pipe… otherwise he could have intervened at this point. I should not be allowed near knives or anything flammable. As I was pulling out the tray to flip the nuggets, two of them fell off the tray and into the bottom of the oven. Awesome. I NEED those nuggets. Sure, there are more in the box, but I want THOSE nuggets. I figure if I can just scoot them over a little closer to the edge of the oven I can pick them up. I reached for the plastic spatula.

I know what you’re thinking “NO! Law Momma! The plastic spatula will melt all over the stove and make a nasty smell!” Exactly! I thought that, too. So I let go of the spatula, happily thinking to myself “Crisis averted. You are a genius.” And reached for the wooden spoon.


The WOODEN spoon. Made of wood. Like what you throw on embers to make a fire.

I really don’t need to explain what happened next do I? There was some shrieking. A little charring. A lot of laughter, head shaking and mocking from Husband. And eventually, there were two nuggets back on the tray where they belonged.

Maybe I do lack all a little common sense.


5 Responses to “Rational Irrationality”

  1. Beck Baby-Mama
    October 12th, 2010 @ 3:24 pm

    Seriously?! I thought I was the only one who solved all her problems with potatoes…especially the salty processed just throw them in the oven kind! SO YUMMY!

  2. Rebekah @ Mom-In-A-Million
    October 12th, 2010 @ 4:00 pm

    Do you have any idea how much I want tater tots now?

  3. ~*Jess*~
    October 12th, 2010 @ 7:12 pm

    I was just glad you didn't grab for it with your hands. Because not thinking, I totally would have done that. Because I'm smart like that. Always in a rush.

  4. KLZ
    October 13th, 2010 @ 2:38 pm

    I think potatoes are God's gift to me. I even have a small song demanding them. More of a chant really.

    Are you SURE we're not related? I'm pretty sure we might be.

  5. Emmie Bee
    October 14th, 2010 @ 9:44 pm

    I did this not two days ago. Except I decided to forgo all utensils and just go for it. I wanted to save the fallen soldiers! Except I forgot my oven was still on. At 450 degrees. And um??? I got within 2 inches of the burner & was like: "SHIT!" anyhow- the metal utensil didn't help. Just got hot as hell really quick.

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