Something in my Pocket….

Posted on | January 18, 2011 | 17 Comments

I wasn’t in the mood to sit through a mediation today.  In fact, I wasn’t really in the mood to be at work. J wouldn’t go to sleep last night. Every time I’d try to rock him or snuggle with him, he would take his little feet and jab them into my ribs. So then I’d ask him “Do you want to get in your crib?” And in his sweet little voice he would say “No!” And look up at me with those big blue eyes while shaking his head.

It was an uphill battle and I honestly don’t know who won. Eventually we both fell asleep… in his room… both in the Queen-sized bed, with only the Turtle night light snoozing in the crib. So I guess he won.

When 6:30 rolled around this morning, the last thing I wanted to do was shower and blow dry my hair. I didn’t want to put on my “nice” clothes and I certainly didn’t want to drop my kid off at daycare and head to a mediation. But somehow I made it to the office, grabbed all my papers, muttered a few words to my secretary, and headed back out to mediate a case.

Normally, I like opportunities to meet with other attorneys. Usually the attorneys I deal with in workers’ compensation are pretty nice people. There are, of course, notable exceptions like the guy who told me he thought it was “cute” how women thought they could have kids and be lawyers… but for the most part, the attorneys are fine to deal with. When they are by themselves.

BUT.  But, but, but! When you put a plaintiff or claimant’s attorney in the same room with their client? It becomes grandstanding central. There is huffing and puffing. There are threats and promises that would never fly in a courtroom. There are numbers thrown out that would only make sense if the claimant had fallen off a 12 story building and had half of her body removed. Seriously. You’ll have a guy who got a cut on his right thumb and his attorney will swear up and down that the man is disabled and needs $300,000 from his employer. For a cut. In short? Mediations are annoying. So I was not looking forward to it.

I was less enthused by the fact that my opposing counsel kept shaking her head and saying that I was caught with my pants down.  I’m not sure if she was stalking me in the bathroom or if this was something someone said to her once and it got stuck on repeat in her head. Either way, I wasn’t impressed. I was also not impressed with the fact that her client was a total faker who didn’t deserve anything, much less the sum of money I had in my proverbial pocket.

But as I internally rolled my eyes and did the fun mediation shuffle about who is right and who has what authority, I found something else in my pocket. I was busy wondering why I was putting myself through this annoying process. I was busy wondering what the whole thing means. Why was I even there? Why was I a lawyer? Why did I have to put on my big girl suit and DEAL with these people?

And then, I felt something in my left pant pocket. I don’t know how I missed it before.. .when I pulled it out, I remembered exactly how it got there. In my hand, I held a small, plastic pacifier.  The one my son had pulled out of his mouth and handed to me so he could give me a kiss before I left him at daycare. The one I had slid in my pocket as I hugged him close.

That paci in my pocket made everything else go away. It made all the “pants on the ground” and number dodging worthwhile. Because what that paci said was “hey… at the end of this day? You have someone amazing waiting to see you.”  It said “this. This is why you are working. You are working to buy this and anything else that little miracle might want.” I tucked it back into my pocket, smiled my way through the rest of the mediation and even managed to get the case settled.

Sometimes it just helps to know what all of this is for.  Sometimes, you just need a reminder of why you work so hard… even if it’s just a paci in your pocket.


17 Responses to “Something in my Pocket….”

  1. Joanna
    January 18th, 2011 @ 7:33 pm

    Awww I love this :). It makes me think about how M hands me her paci too so she can give me a kiss when I pick her up out of her crib. Melts me.

  2. Jess@Straight Talk
    January 18th, 2011 @ 7:34 pm

    Awww that is super sweet.

    And also? The attorneys have to be all bulldog like their ridiculous commercials 😉 then the clients will feel good paying them 35-40% contingency.

  3. Krista
    January 18th, 2011 @ 8:11 pm

    Aww.. this is great. What a perfect reminder of why you do what you do day in and day out.

  4. Ginger
    January 18th, 2011 @ 8:23 pm

    I love this. I found one of Jackson’s socks in my purse the other day when I was having a really crummy time (why a sock? My child refuses to wear them 98% of the time.), and you’re right, it immediately lifted my spirits to remind me of the awesome gift I have at home.

  5. Diana @Hormonal Imbalances
    January 18th, 2011 @ 8:46 pm

    Aw. That made me tear up a little. What a good mom you are to J.

  6. Heather
    January 19th, 2011 @ 12:00 am

    Love this post. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  7. Marcy
    January 19th, 2011 @ 1:19 pm

    As an accountant this time of year with steep billable hour requirements I very much enjoy your blog and feel like you are narrating my life. I am a newish mom with a 6 month old boy at home. I think I’m going to start carrying around “binks” in my pocket because we all need this little “pick me up” during the day. Thanks and again love your blog!


  8. Alexandra
    January 19th, 2011 @ 2:41 pm

    This is so wonderful, you know what I”d do with this post? I’d email it to Nichole @ITSM,, for her Monday “Small Moment Series.’ It’s a series where the smallest moments are the most significant.

    Anyway, that’s what I’d do.


    Have a sweet day.

  9. Erin
    January 19th, 2011 @ 7:18 pm

    Love Alex’s suggestion!!

    I love the Paci in the Pocket.

    I am not a fan of fakers…but I am a huge fan of you!

  10. Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom)
    January 29th, 2011 @ 6:26 am

    This made me smile. Paci in the pocket, I will long remember this. I just found my daughter’s in my jacket the other day…it did make me smile.

    So glad that paci helped you through your day and that you enjoyed more snuggle time with your little guy once you got home 🙂

    Nichole sent me over from In These Small Moments…so glad she did.

  11. Leighann
    January 30th, 2011 @ 1:19 am

    Next time I’m having a rotten day I’m going to try to remember I’ve got a “paci in my pocket” and that’s why I keep going.
    thank you for this post!

  12. GuiltySquid
    January 30th, 2011 @ 1:29 am

    I loved this.


  13. Crystal
    January 31st, 2011 @ 12:31 am

    ohhh! I love this…and it is so true! Those are the most amazing reminders, too. I love it when I find in my purse or coat pocket their little paci or tractor he was clenching. This is a beautiful post and I’m so glad I got to read it.

  14. Booyah's Momma
    February 1st, 2011 @ 5:02 am

    This is a perfect reminder of why we do what we do.

    The other day, I went to work and found a rubber ducky in my laptop bag… a little stowaway put in there by my son. And somehow, that little duck sitting there made my day a brighter by having a memento of what I’d have to look forward to after I got home.

    This post made me smile. Big time.

  15. julie
    February 3rd, 2011 @ 12:33 am

    I am a full-time writer now. Working from home. Making no money, but we can leave that part out.

    When my babies were born, I worked out of the home. I brought them to daycare at six weeks old each.

    Some days, I cried as I left them.
    Other days, I was relieved for the break my job afforded. So sometimes I would cry because I needed a break from my children.

    Maybe it was the hormones. Maybe it’s simply motherhood. Love, fatigue, hope without measure.

    Thanks for sharing your moment. What a very special reminder of what it’s all for.

  16. Brigitta
    September 10th, 2011 @ 1:14 am

    I loved this post! I found a tiny white baby sock in my purse one day at work and had similar feelings. Love your writing, really enjoying your blog!

  17. Small Moments Spotlight - in these small moments
    November 23rd, 2012 @ 9:56 pm

    […] lovely post that I have stumbled across recently is Something in my Pocket, by Law Momma, who blogs over at Spilled Milk {and other atrocities}.  This post speaks to all […]

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