Desperately Seeking Soundtrack…

Posted on | March 10, 2011 | 17 Comments

Yesterday, as I drove back and forth to Augusta and ended up in South Carolina along the way, something not so profound occurred to me.  See, I was knee deep in old cds… ones I’d bought in high school, ones I’d bought in college, and the obligatory mixed cds from my time in Orlando.  I had so much fun reminiscing with the soundtracks of my “previous lives.”  I rolled down the windows and turned up the radio and remembered what life was like when I was a Weekend Excursion fan.  I remembered being a Dezeray’s Hammer fan, and a Big Sky fan and a Cider fan.  I remembered jamming out to N.E.R.D. and the time my mom asked me what a “Slap Dance” was.  I laughed like I was back in college when No Doubt came pouring out of the speakers and I remembered driving around on Saturdays in high school “looking for the party” while listening to old school Indigo Girls and Athenaeum.

It occurred to me that in my life, I’ve known a lot of soundtracks.  Music has always been really important to me.  I think it’s because I have zero musical talent of my own.  When I sing, people usually ask me to stop.  My dancing leaves something to be desired unless you count how freaking AWESOME I am when I drink… but I’m pretty sure the wall-eyed shimmy isn’t the next dance craze.  Even my one attempt at learning a musical instrument ended in total disaster.  So I have this intense love of other people’s ability to make music.

That love of music translated into always having the perfect song for me in any and every situation.  I made “happy mixes” and “sad mixes”.  I made “sunny day” mixes and “rainy day” mixes.  There were “roadtrip” cds, “party” cds and even “depressed” cds.  I could find whatever I wanted in my music; I could suit any mood.  I knew who I was and what I loved and that was reflected in my choices of music.  In high school, I was caught in the middle of rap and chick rock.  In college, it was alternative rock like the Smashing Pumpkins, and the Stone Temple Pilots.   In my early twenties, my soundtrack was whatever got me dancing.  In my mid-twenties, I was big into Tony Lucca and Jason Mraz.

And then, somewhere after that, I got lost.

I can still put in the Counting Crows and remember the me I was when I would have sworn up and down that Adam Duritz was the best song writer of our generation.  I can put on a Phish cd and remember being head over heels in love with a totally inappropriate guy.  I can jam out to almost any Dave Matthews CD and remember, well, Chapel Hill, and I can still muster an almost twenty-one smile on even the worst days with just the intro music to “Shoebox” by The Barenaked Ladies.  Ican put in almost any cd and remember a personality I used to own but what I can’t do is put in a cd that suits me now.

Who am I now when I don’t even know what music I like?

Am I Raffi and songs about moose?  Am I Carribbean Playground? Am I silence?  In ten or fifteen years, when I want to remember my early thirties, what cds will I put in to remember?

I just don’t know.

I’m a life without music.

I’m a movie without a soundtrack.

And that is just not okay with me.  So I’m asking you guys… who should I be listening to?  Who should I be hanging my Early Thirties Hat on? I’m really very open to all kinds of suggestions. Can you guys help me create a soundtrack for motherhood?

The silence is killing me.

Comments

17 Responses to “Desperately Seeking Soundtrack…”

  1. Mom on a Line
    March 10th, 2011 @ 10:39 pm

    First, a warning: I’m a big fan of folk and country music (now). I know many people find this hard to handle, but since you are open to suggestions, Lori McKenna is the current soundtrack to my life. One of the things I love most about her is that she is a wife and a mom and many of her songs are about being a wife and a mom. They resonate with me. Her song “Mars” always makes me think of my son, “Fireflies” my daughter, “Unglamorous” my life, and “I’m not Crazy” my husband. Her website http://lorimckenna.com/ is for her new album that came out last month. Good luck finding your soundtrack. I’ve always had one myself.

  2. Law Momma
    March 10th, 2011 @ 10:55 pm

    Thanks! I’m gonna check her out right now!

  3. Jessica
    March 10th, 2011 @ 11:30 pm

    Life needs to have music. What I listen to changes all the time but right now I am into country. Carrie Underwood (side note called Carrie Underwear in our house), Zac Brown Band, Lady Antebellum, there is more but I can’t think of them right now. And if your looking for a good kid song to use for dancing with the little man I would suggest Shake your sillies out by the Wiggles. My kids love dancing to it. I hope you find some music that fits your life.

  4. Julie
    March 11th, 2011 @ 12:13 am

    If you like rock with some folk – kind of like Phish – I would recommend Mumford & Sons. I an totally addicted!

  5. Keiko
    March 11th, 2011 @ 2:05 am

    (sigh) Atheneaum, Indigo Girls, Weekend Excursion- you are totally bringing back some awesome memories! I think I am going to dust these old cds off and play them tomorrow just for you girl!! I have to be in SC both in the AM and the afternoon so it will be good jams for the drive. I will be channeling you!!! XO

  6. Elizabeth
    March 11th, 2011 @ 2:13 am

    Pick a few bands you know you like and then open up the stations on Pandora. It will rotate through that band’s music and also add in similar sounding musicians. I agree with the changing soundtrack. I hear Tracy Chapman and suddenly I’m driving around Greensboro with Meg smoking. And props to you for referencing WE and Athenaeum. But for me, I’ve always loved me some Stevie and Bono. They comprise my LIFE sountrack. And if you’re looking for kiddie music, still Stevie and Bono, but you can also add Jack Johnson, Lisa Loeb, and Choo Choo Soul.

  7. KristinaYellow
    March 11th, 2011 @ 4:39 am

    I am going through the same thing–I love listening to my old stuff on Ipod but finding new stuff to add is harder. I don’t like a ton of the rap/cool stuff but I’m almost feeling odd singing to Taylor Swift or those types of artists. Sigh. I’ll have to make sure I follow these comments to see what else to add-I definitely want my toddler singing along with real songs, not just kid-focused nursery rhymes! 🙂

  8. Tracy (@metta1313)
    March 11th, 2011 @ 4:41 am

    when i read this, “I can put on a Phish cd and remember being head over heels in love with a totally inappropriate guy,” I chuckled. I guess I married a totally inappropriate guy :P. But yeah, my favorite as of late is Mumford and Sons. Abby gets down to them too.

  9. Law Momma
    March 11th, 2011 @ 11:48 am

    Ha! Oh, there’s nothing wrong with Phish… there was only something wrong with the guy! 🙂

  10. LegallyInsaneMommy
    March 11th, 2011 @ 1:08 pm

    I do what Elizabeth said and use pandora.com

    However, I rarely get a moment to listen to my own music. Lately it’s Kidz Bop and The Wiggles as well as Justin Bieber in my car.
    Then there is the fun moment when I realize I dropped the children off 15 minutes ago but am still jamming to Bieber and singing along…..

  11. MamaHudd
    March 11th, 2011 @ 6:22 pm

    I remember driving around with you in your car and you always had an assortment of mix cds to listen to. I could always count on you to introduce me to an aspiring artist. Always had the best music to listen to! Thanks 🙂

  12. Caroline
    March 11th, 2011 @ 8:25 pm

    Elizabeth Mitchell.

  13. Adrienne
    March 12th, 2011 @ 2:32 pm

    My hands-down favorites these days are Adele, Norah Jones, and DMB (I will never forsake Dave!).

    You’ll fins yourself again, I promise. The early parenting years are disorienting but you’ll be back!

  14. Jill
    March 13th, 2011 @ 10:46 pm

    If you liked Jason Mraz in your mid-twenties, pick him up again. I am not sure of your exact age but I am guessing your saying it has been 5-8 years since he was on repeat for you, so definitely check out his new stuff. The radio stuff doesn’t do the rest justice. I am also loving Adele, Mumford & Sons, Zac Brown Band (if you are into country) and Cee Lo Green.

  15. Tami
    March 15th, 2011 @ 2:27 am

    I feel your pain… I was watching a movie the other night and one of the songs was “Mama Tried” Merle Haggard, Peyton yells out from her bedroom, “Hey Mama, they’re playing your song.”

  16. TarynE
    May 10th, 2011 @ 7:40 pm

    Rihanna, Breaking Benjamin, Seether, Coldplay, Dave Matthews (his solo stuff, like Some Devil), Adele, Lady Gaga (she’s annoying, but I love singing in the car to her music!!) Taio Cruz, Bruno Mars, Usher… I love music and listen to most of this stuff with my son in the car (the censored versions.) He even dances along most of the time! 🙂

  17. dot org
    March 9th, 2013 @ 11:34 pm

    The National. They should do for now.

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    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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