Posted on | March 11, 2011 | 2 Comments

When I went to the store to rent a steam cleaner to clean my carpets after the poop fiasco and in the hopes of maybe enticing my child to remain healthy for longer than 24 hours, I had to sign and date a form.  It wasn’t until I saw the date in black and white, staring up at me, that I realized why I’m in such a funk today.

Today marks 14 years to the day that we lost Jennifer. (If you’re not familiar with that story, you can read it here.)

I almost cried at the rental counter.

It’s funny how wounds never heal.  It’s funny that you can be 14 years down the road, standing at a rental counter with your son and something happens and poof… you are standing on a roadside, watching your friend’s body pulling away in an ambulance.  Some things just never go away.  Some things just never get better.

Ever since I realized what day it is, I’ve tried to go a little easier on myself.  I’ve tried to stop going so hard and just let myself remember.  And when I let myself remember, I cry. A lot.

But I think it’s important to cry.

I think it’s important to remember that something tragic happened 14 years ago.  I think it’s important that Jennifer’s death still aches in my heart like it happened yesterday.

And so I sit here at my kitchen table and I remember.  I remember the good times and I weep for the times she never got to have.

I remember her.

And I miss her.

And in her honor, I’d like to direct you over to Mother’s Against Drunk Driving.  We can make a difference.  We can help educate people on what happens when you drive drunk.  We can help save another mother from going through what Jennifer’s mother had to go through.

Save a life.  Don’t drink and drive.



2 Responses to “Remembering”

  1. KristinaYellow
    March 11th, 2011 @ 8:36 pm

    Sometimes I look up and think, where has the time gone? Only yesterday I was in college! Now I’m a married momma of a toddler–so much has changed in what seems like no time at all. Then I think of people I have known, loved, and lost and think, time seems so long. Has it been that long since I’ve seen them? Spoken to them? Heard their laughter? Thank you for reminding me to cherish these days–even as I want to rip my hair out dealing with doctors/insurance or fuss at my daughter who is trying to “help” feed soup to me or my sister and spilling it all over everyone and everything. Thank you for reminding me of what’s important–to be thankful that we are here. Together. Safe and happy in this moment.
    I’m so sorry for your loss–I know it doesn’t go away but hopefully the ache will lessen to a less heavy purse.

  2. Kristin
    March 11th, 2011 @ 10:11 pm

    March 17th is my date, lost my fiance when I was 24. No matter what I do that day, it always hits me at some point like a ton of bricks. Praying your day gets better.

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