Things I Hate

Posted on | March 29, 2011 | 11 Comments

There are things that I hate… and usually I can mask my disdain for them but one week out of every month, my hatred rises up into the back of my throat and threatens to gag me with sheer distaste and disgust.  This is that week.

These are things I hate:

1. Girls who have thighs that don’t touch when they walk. This is closely related to my hatred of people who own jeans that don’t wear thin in the thigh area.

2.  The plastic surgeon who invented cosmetic breast implants. Seriously, dude? You couldn’t let us fat chicks have ONE THING?  Let me press my button.

3. People who wear sunglasses when it’s either cloudy or after sunset.  Unless you are blind. Then it’s okay but you should have the decency to tell me you’re blind so I don’t press my other button.

4. People who protest at funerals.  Special. Place. In. Hell.

5. The plastic they use to put around toys and batteries. Really? Toys and batteries? Not, I don’t know, light bulbs? This hatred is also closely related to the hatred I have for people who look at me like I’m crazy when I ask them to open something for me in the store when I have a screaming child flailing on my right side.

6. Skinny jeans. Just on principle, I will also hate you if you are wearing them. Especially if you are a guy.

7. Emo. Just the phrase. WTF does it even mean? Is it short for emotional? IF so, are you SOOOOO emotional that you can’t add in the rest of the word? Are you just soooo cool that you don’t, like, need that “-tional?” Whatever.

8. Peel top aluminum cans.  They ALWAYS splash. Always. No matter how you hold them. No matter how carefully you pull the tab.  See also, yogurt.

9. The Old Navy mannequin commercials.

10. Duke.


11 Responses to “Things I Hate”

  1. Emily
    March 29th, 2011 @ 11:02 pm

    I seriously just LOL @ Duke. Preach on sista!

  2. heather
    March 30th, 2011 @ 12:04 am

    Hiiiiiilarious. And, I concur.

  3. etosia
    March 30th, 2011 @ 12:26 am

    I hate, hate, hate the old navy mannequin commercials, and now the ones with the singing bimbos, and also FLOW from Progressive. I think I hate her the most!

  4. Mel
    March 30th, 2011 @ 1:16 am

    I concur! Especially on #10. I’m a UK fan! Go Cats!
    As for Emo, I have a cat this is very emotional and her name is Emo. 🙂

  5. Elizabeth
    March 30th, 2011 @ 12:31 pm

    I’m with you on the Old navy commercials. If you call a store right now they have this ridiculous voicemail that says it you go to the store, shake your “booty”, then you get 30% off. My mom said “what next, showing your boobs gets you 50%?!”
    Made me quite mad, especially since my 11 year old is the one who heard the message first.

  6. KristinaYellow
    March 30th, 2011 @ 3:05 pm

    I”m sorry I push your buttons-:(
    I am one of those people who wear sunglasses–cloudy, rainy, inside, outside, etc. I do have an excuse though–I have terrible chronic migraines and my eyes are really sensitive to light, esp that fake stuff that seems to be in all stores. I hate wearing them all the time but if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to get out. Would it help if I wore a button? 🙂

  7. Jennifer
    March 30th, 2011 @ 3:11 pm

    I agree with no. 1 absolutely, 100%.

    But I must confess I do wear sunglasses when it is cloudy. But only if it is that hazy kind of cloudy where everything seems kind of bright and off.

  8. Mom Went Crazy
    March 30th, 2011 @ 3:18 pm

    I friggin’ hate guys in skinny jeans!! There is this kid that always walks home from high school past our house. He wears the same black skinny jeans every day. He’s always walking alone.
    Hint hint kid. It’s because of the skinny jeans and justin bieber hair cut.

  9. Kim
    March 30th, 2011 @ 3:57 pm

    I think I am with you on EVERY one of those!! The jeans wearing thin in the thighs drives me crazy! And NO ONE looks good in skinny jeans! NO ONE!

  10. Sarah Jane
    March 30th, 2011 @ 4:14 pm

    I am so right there with you! Especially with #1, #2, #4, #4, #4 and #7. And now that you have brought the others to my attention, I might as well hate those things too! Thanks!

  11. Chunky Mama
    March 30th, 2011 @ 6:32 pm

    Right there with you on #1- #9. I am however, unable to hate Duke as I have personally met Coach K and I know that he goes out of his way to help improve the lives of the kids in Duke’s Childrens Hospital, and he requires/expects his players to do the same. So Duke gets a pass from me.

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