It’s Better than Good Enough

Posted on | May 22, 2011 | 51 Comments

I don’t do self-help books.

I feel like I should throw that out there because it speaks volumes about what I’m about to tell you…. I don’t do self-help books; I hate non-fiction, for the most part; and documentaries, as much as I’d like to be all high-brow and love them, make me sleepy.  I like my books and my movies full of fantasy, adventure, and romance and above all else, I want them to be 92% fake. At all times.

So at first, when Hollee Temple told me about the book she and Becky Gillespie wrote on modern day motherhood, “Good Enough is the New Perfect: Finding Happiness and Success in Modern Motherhood,” I was skeptical.  This was a book that was about my life; why did I want to sit down and read a book about my life? There would be no romance, no humor, no excitement… it was just some dry book about how much it sucks being a working mother, right?

Oh. So. Wrong.

Guys? This book is amazing.

You know how when you were growing up, you were told you could have it all as a woman? You know how you pictured your life being all white picket fences with two kids blowing bubbles in the yard while you stood and smiled with your slightly taller and oh-so-handsome husband? And then you’d both go off to your jobs and you’d have this awesome career that worked with your motherhood?

Oh, and then remember when you became a wife and a mother and a career woman and you didn’t remember sleep deprivation and daycare as being part of your childhood equation?


This book? It’s about that.  It’s about what comes after the Motherhood plus career equal sign.  It’s about making your life, just the way it is, equal happiness.  It’s brutally honest without being brutal to read.  The book mixes humor and frailty and glaring honesty to paint a picture of what all of us career woman are *REALLY* going through on a daily basis.  And then, just when you find yourself nodding and saying “Yes EXACTLY! That’s exactly how I feel!” it starts to provide you with real life solutions that worked for real life women.  Ultimately, the underlying theme of the book is just what the title says… being happy being good enough is the key to finding success as a modern, working (or non-working) mother.

I will admit that I skipped the chapter about being a good enough wife because I just couldn’t take it.  I read a bit of it and when I found myself feeling like a total failure in my own marriage, I had to skip on to the next part.  But the rest of the book? I loved.  It made me think about why I stress myself out over things like having a spotless house and being the best of the best at my job.  It made me realize that I need to take a few more moments to breathe and to worry less about being, well, perfect.  Because ultimately, we’re all in this together… we’re all just women trying to make this work for us and for our spouses and our kids.  We’re all just trying to make this work.

Partially from reading this book on finding new ways to make my life work without striving for constant perfection, I went out and found a new job…. and got a divorce. No, kidding about the divorce part… but as you all may have known, my job was not working for me as a mother.  There was so much travel and so many long hours and I just couldn’t do it and be the kind of mother I wanted to be.

After reading “Good Enough is the New Perfect: Finding Happiness and Success in Modern Motherhood,”  I realized that I didn’t have to make that lifestyle and career fit me… I could find a career that fit me better and as a result, I could be happier in my home life.  So later this week, I’ll step back into my heels and head into a new office.  This one is on the other side of the law, which means no more long travel, no more billable hours, and no more feeling like my life boils down to numbers on a time sheet.  It’s a start, right?  And honestly, this is the kind of book you can go back and read and re-read.  Like the chapter on the Best Laid Plans? Yeah, I may have read that a few times since my husband announced he wanted a divorce.

I don’t say this lightly… This book is a life changer.  It’s one of those things you sit down and read a chapter or two of and think “Why am I running myself ragged?? These women are RIGHT!” and then you do something… even if it’s a small something… to implement some better choices for yourself.  When I find something like this book (which was provided to me for free to review), I want to share it with the world.  My mother read a few chapters and fell in love.  My friends have asked to borrow it.  And for you guys? I bought a second copy.  Yes. You read that right.   I got a free copy and then bought a copy because: (1) I like to support women who do something amazing; (2) this book quite literally changed my life; and (3) I would love to be a part of changing someone else’s life.  The paid for book is sitting in a nice, neat, box, just waiting for a new home.

You know you want to read this book… seriously… you do.  Look, when I got this book, I was in a marriage I didn’t know was bad; I was miserable; I was working a job that didn’t fit me, and did I mention I was miserable? I’m not saying this book has magical qualities, but what I am saying is that I read it about two months ago when I was so miserable that the only thing that made any sense to me was giving up on everything… and now I’m living in a house I love, in a familiar town, with a brand new, no billable hour job, and without the husband who was making everything more difficult. So… maybe it is a touch magic? 🙂

I want to give all of you a copy, but since I can’t… I’ll give one of you a copy.  All you need to do is tell me why you struggle with being a modern day mother and why you think this book could help you work out some kinks.  Then on Wednesday, I’ll randomly select a winner from all the entries! Easy enough, right?  The only “extra” requirement is that after you read the book, you have to email me and tell me what you think.


51 Responses to “It’s Better than Good Enough”

  1. Lynette
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 4:47 pm

    Being a single mom of two boys and living with Multiple Sclerosis I have plenty of struggles with parenthood. Any book that could help me take some pressure off of myself for being and doing everything- all the time- would be greatly appreciated.

  2. elle
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 4:52 pm

    My modern day mom struggle is learning how to balance every aspect of parenting by myself. Without a partner to lean on, the days are long and difficult. Doing it all alone is something I never thought I would have to face.

  3. Kim
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 4:56 pm

    When I was a SAHM/full-time grad student my house was a mess and I wished my DH would help more with either it or the kids. Now that I’ve gone back to work my house is *really* a mess and I still wish my DH would help with something. But then I tell myself that I’m doing a damn good job balancing it all and I don’t have to share the glory with anyone else. I don’t know how you’re doing it so well and I’d love to know a few secrets (except for the lack of sleep — I really need my sleep). Any other tips on how I can be okay with less than perfect would be a God-send! Good for you for doing what you need to make yourself happier and your life less chaotic.

  4. Melanie
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 5:09 pm

    I am a Stay at Home Mom that is trying to find a balance between being a Mom (which is all.the.time) and being a Wife, plus sketch a little time in there just to be me. I need to read this book to know that it is ok to “make” a bowl of cereal for dinner just so I can have a minute to breathe or know that what I had in mind when I was younger isn’t the reality of now. 🙂

  5. Heather
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 5:22 pm

    You’re awesome. I can’t wait to read this book. (And I hope to win it!) As another law momma, I think I struggle w/ my desire to be perfect more than anything. Type A, anyone? But I can’t have a spotless home, healthy organic home cooked meals, be a rock star attorney, have a perfect body, and be charming all at the same time. Not without a staff and a magic wand. I am me, and that’s awesome. (Repeat.)

  6. Tiffany D.
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 5:32 pm

    I struggle with the idea of perfection. I used to worry about being a stay-at-home mom and never finding myself. Now I’m starting my own business, and finding time for myself, and I worry about it taking too much time from my kids. I feel like I can’t win.

  7. Heather
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 7:41 pm

    My biggest enemy is myself — I’m a perfectionist, I worry too much, got so hysterical and upset over trying to breast-feed and be the “perfect” mom, always compare myself to others when I shouldn’t… and I’m a part-time working mom! (3 days a week) I Should have the best of both worlds, right? That’s what you think, but instead i feel like I have the guilt of both worlds. I’m seeing a doctor and on medication, and things got better, but it’s still a daily struggle for me…

  8. Tracy
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 8:08 pm

    I am also an attorney and travel a lot. I cry missing my kids sometimes, but I also want to be a kick-a** role-model for them. Like many, I struggle the most about having even a tidy house (I’d settle for that). I spend all of my weekends cleaning, straightening, doing laundry, etc. I know I should just be enjoying my kids that are growing up way too fast. I am finally starting to be ok with having the neighbors come over (we live in an area of stay at home moms or part time working moms and their homes are, of course, spotless and perfect). I struggle so much with myself, saying, “They have to understand about my job, how hard I work, how many hours I put in…” but then I think to myself that they really don’t and they can’t help but judge because we are SUPPOSED to be able to do it all. Then I get stressed out and yell at my kids and I hate it.

    Yeah, rambling. My thoughts, though. Love your blog. Love. You are an inspiration.

  9. Miranda
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 8:26 pm

    My biggest struggle is dividing myself up to ALL of my children. There’s Joshua, and he has me for eternity. But there are my students, and they need me, too. Sure, they all need me in different ways but sometimes I can’t quit thinking about the ways Joshua needs me when I’m with them and the ways they need me when I’m with him.

    I’m hoping this book comes with an off switch for my thoughts.

  10. Kerri
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 8:45 pm

    my biggest struggle is trying to figure out how and when to ask (demand) that my DH do more…because while i hate having a messy house and i hate having to do all the thinking about what we’re going to eat and who’s going to wear what and go to which school, etc., etc., the thing i dread THE MOST is becoming some sort of stereotypical nagging wife. so i suffer it in silence because i don’t want to be a nag, simply because that’s just so freakin’ cliche. and i’m a feminist…or so i think. but then i don’t really feel like a feminist when i do all the work around the house. it’s a mind-numbing dilemma i’ve created for myself. 🙁

  11. Marta
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 8:53 pm

    I am stay at home mom and wife of a researcher. We recently moved to a new place and have no friends where we are right now. I promise not only to email you my thoughts but also email the book back (buy another copy for myself) so you can send this one to another needy woman. Like sisterhood of traveling book 🙂 A book as lifechanging as you say cannot just stay on a shelf of a one person that just would be a waste!

  12. Katie
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 9:37 pm

    I struggle with being a mom because I’ve been battling PPD/PPA since my 18 month old was born, and I’ve since had another baby who is 3 months. I battle against feeling inadequate and like I’m the only mother who feels the way I do. I fight against my occasional resentment of the responsibility that was slammed upon my shoulders when my babies were born. I wage war against my temper that constantly gives out on me and causes me to speak too sharply to the toddler boy who is testing limits at every turn or the infant girl whose cries set my teeth on edge. And all of these things makes me feel like the worst mother in the world so many times!

  13. KristinaYellow
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 9:40 pm

    I struggle with being a SAHM who works part time, with a chronic health issue. I constantly feel guilty–for not having a perfect house, for feeling crappy and not being a great perfect mom, for not being a great wife, for not being a great friend/daughter/etc. It’s not how I want my daughter to feel when she’s my age-I want her to see a strong, happy, centered woman as her model. I want to be happy again. I want to figure out how to be happy again.

  14. Shauna
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 9:51 pm

    I am a full time working mom with a rambunctious toddler and a partner that is less than helpful. He doesn’t work, can’t work due to health issues. I often feel like I am working 3 full time jobs – the “real” one in the office, the mommy job and then my job as my partners caretaker. We haven’t even walked down the aisle yet because I can’t afford it. I am becoming resentful of everyone, especially work and him. I could never resent my child. I find myself yelling a lot, not directly at my baby, but at his father, because hes supposed to be my partner but most times he feels like my arch nemesis. I try so hard to do it all, work, take care of the house, the baby, the dog, my partner… but in the end I am crumbling and I fear that is worse for my baby than if I let the house or laundry go… And time for myself? Forget it, that doesn’t happen. Ever.

    I’d like to read this book, perhaps it would help me figure out how to let something give, to save my sanity and the sanity of those around me.

  15. Courtney
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 10:37 pm

    I have read the book and it is awesome! I switched from a billable attorney job to a non-billable while on maternity leave (that was a fun conversation with my former boss) and it is so life-changing to not have billable hours. I’m still busy, I still have lots of work to do, but knowing that I’m just going to work and I just have to do my job for the day without accounting for all my time is liberating. Life should not be lived in six minute increments.

  16. Latrice Latin
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 11:41 pm

    Just downloaded to my kindle! Thanks for the review. ; )

  17. Cindy
    May 22nd, 2011 @ 11:57 pm

    I always had visions of the type of mom I was going to be…I had to work, but I was going to be sure that my children had the same stay at home mom experience…so I bent over backwards and turned myself inside out to make sure that I took care of everyone…for the last two years I have tried to do the same as a single mom…even harder…can use all the help I can get…

  18. Lisa
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 12:23 am

    I thought motherhood would come so naturally. I expected to know how to handle things, and am still beating myself up over the mistakes I make. I would love to read the book!

  19. Nellie
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 12:26 am

    Hey there, I think if I don’t win your giveaway I’ll end up buying this book. I went to college, got my degree, had a family and promptly lost my mind.

    My husband did not come from a “functioning family” and is now learning the parenting skills from me that his own parents never taught him. Sometimes I feel like I have three kids instead of two.

    I have felt alone, stupid, and crazy; sometimes all at the same time since becoming a mother and any positive message about making it in the world has got to be helpful.

  20. Jennifer
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 8:41 am

    First just want to say you are doing a great job 🙂 You’re a wonderful mommy & you’re doing what you need to do for both yourself & your son.

    I’d love to take a look at the book you mentioned & will put it on my wishlist for future purchase 🙂 Right now my husband & I are going through problems with his mother, who has a pretty serious mental condition she won’t seek treatment for as well as a serious heart condition. The quick version is that my husband doesn’t see how leaving our kids alone with his mother could be a very dangerous thing. And no matter what I tell him, he’s just not able to make that connection. So….not good times. Especially since we live 10 hours away from her, so it’s not like she lives down the street or something like that. Sigh.

    Anyhow, so happy you found a book that works for you 🙂

    Take care of you & that wonderful little boy of yours!

  21. Carey
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 9:13 am

    The hardest part of being a working mom for me is always feeling like everything in my life needs work. I need to be nicer to my kids, I need to focus better when I’m at work, I need to find time to exercise, find time to see my friends, find time and plan for date nights with my husband. Oh, and the house needs to be cleaned and organized, and so does the garage and so does the playroom… Argh! It just feels like every area of my life needs serious attention and I’m failing at it all… Sigh…

  22. Alecia
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 10:17 am

    This book sounds like a life saver. Sometimes we all need someone to just come along out of the blue and say…you are doing OK. Let yourself laugh, live and experience life. Not everything is perfect.

    Ok…so I’m going to have to add this to my reading list. I so need that person to remind me today, Monday May 23rd…that I’m on the right path.


  23. Shelly
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 10:35 am

    I really need to read that book. I have yet to figure out a way to accept that OK is good enough. That I can pack melon for my son’s lunch and that’s fine…I don’t need to run out to the grocery store at 10pm to get blueberries because they are his favorite and we are out of them. His second (or third, or fourth) favorite is OK. I don’t need to be perfect. I can type that last line, I just need help making myself belive it.

  24. Melissa
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 10:48 am

    I didn’t know that when you changed jobs, you left the dark side! As an insurance lawyer turned plaintiff’s attorney, I say WELCOME! Life is so much better this way 🙂

    Also, I’ve been dying to read this book. Its next on my list after Bossypants.

  25. Chandler Francis
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 11:00 am

    having 3 kids, 2 dogs, a full time job (outside the home) and a full time job INSDIE the home, (not to mention a mother who finds my housecleaning skills abysmmal), I am constantly stressed. I want to have the perfectly spotless home, well mannered children, and a fabulous life, but it just doesn’t work that way! I find myself saying I didn’t sign up for this…. sounds like this book is the perfect answer!

    so in a nutshell, pick me pick me!!

  26. Heather
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 11:02 am

    The thing I struggle most with is the feeling of being torn between jealousy of my children’s caregivers (that feeling that I’m missing out on those first – those special moments that someone else got to experience with my children) and breathing a sigh of relief on days I’m in the office because I have a moment to just be me.

  27. Kristin
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 11:08 am

    I’m a working full time from home mommy, meaning I’m a stay at home mommy who happens to have to full time job as well. I need some help! I feel like I’m drowning right now between these 2 little people who need me, and my own mother who is relying on me too much in dealing with her father, who’s health is failing.

  28. Delia
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 11:58 am

    I started a new job right before the end of the year that takes me away from home for an extra hour each day. I get to see my son awake for about 2 hours a day, if he doesn’t go to bed early. I know that it was the right thing for me to do for my career. I just need to accept that it isn’t about this or that – my career has a direct impact on my home life. If I’m happy at work, then I’m happy at home. If I’m unhappy at work, it won’t matter how much time I spend at home because I’ll be grouchy. Sounds easy, but I still can’t quite convince myself that it is ok to be gone that long from my son each day.

  29. Marlo
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 12:08 pm

    I am a chorus and theater teacher. For all of my married life I always wanted to stay home with my children, at least until they were school age. I am unable to do that, because we can’t afford it, and I’ve had to give up doing community theater, at least while my son is so young. I feel like all I do is work, eat, sleep, and wash bottles. The best part is the time I spend with my son… which is only 2 hours or so after work/daycare before he goes to bed.

  30. Erin
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 12:08 pm

    What don’t I struggle with is the question? I wanted kids for longer than I can remember and thought I would handle becoming a mother with ease. It was when I went back to work the snit hit the fan. I feel there is just not enough of me for any of the things I want to be. Most days I want to chuck the whole work thing even though that would not really solve the problem and only create others. I need something to change. For myself, for my son, for my marriage and for the little girl I will (hopefully) carry for another 10 wks.

  31. Toni
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 12:13 pm

    I would definitely like to give this book a shot! I’m a full-time working mom as well, and it’s definitely hard to find balance.

  32. Christina
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 12:25 pm

    I work a full time job outside the home and struggle daily on trying to be the best at being an employee, a mother and a wife. I don’t want to just balance and go through the motions, I want to live each moment! I am a perfectionist about my house – I go home a vacuum daily during my lunch break. Why? HELP

  33. TarynE
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 12:31 pm

    Struggling with my entire life right now… being pregnant, taking care of my son and myself and my dog and my house… trying to get by day-to-day, living with the man who wants to divorce me once our daughter is born. It is a constant struggle to just keep my head above water.

  34. Kitty
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 2:55 pm

    I just ordered one for me and 3 of my friends. Thanks for the recommendation!

  35. Mary
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 3:22 pm

    Glad to hear it’s working for you. I don’t need the book, already made all my mistakes. Ha. And the one thing I wish is that I had spent the day with the boys at the park and not dusting and cleaning everything! Now they are all grown and moved out, I have great memories but some regrets. Good luck with the new job, happy for you. Mary

  36. Casey
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 3:32 pm

    My greatest struggle being a mother is one that so many people overlook or just don’t realize how confusing it can be. I am a stepmom to my husband’s 7 year old son and have been for almost 5 years. I have deeply loved and helped raise this precious little boy for as long as he can remember. He does not remember his biological parents being together. We have 50/50 physical and legal custody. I have changed his diapers, I drive him to school, I help him with his homework, I dry his tears, I do his laundry, I make him practice the piano and do his homework, and I love him and his father more than I could ever express. I have always wanted children, and find myself now 41 still not pregnant and trying to come to terms with that. This beautiful, funny, sweet little boy may be my only chance to be a parent, and I am so deeply grateful that he is in my life. The struggle is finding my “place” in the equation. His biological Mom, who has never met me, hates me. She calls me names, worse than whatever names you are coming up with. One time in 5 years our paths crossed. At a soccer game when he was just 5, she saw me and while holding on to this little boy’s hand and in front of thirty adults and children, she started yelling at me and calling me a f***ing c**t! among many other things. I watched as the most precious boy in the world who loves me “to the moon and back and even more!” experienced the most horrifying scene. The look on his face, the shock, fear, and disbelief. He was crushed and has paid a very high cost for her behavior toward me. (Apparently this goes on quite frequently in her home. She only refers to his father as Loser to him….I’m even worse.) She doesn’t know the damage she causes. It has not made him feel negatively about me; if anything, he is very protective of me (which should not be a little boy’s job!). I have forgone soccer games, piano recitals, school plays, and many other events that his Mom will be at so that he will not be at risk. (She makes it VERY CLEAR that I am NOT to be at ANY of his activities…EVER!) And, let me tell you, it HURTS!! I want to be there for him; I want to see him grow and thrive and experience things, but I am “not allowed” because she is volatile and unpredictable. It’s been 5 years….I thought it would get better. Am I his parent? He thinks so; I think so. But….I’m not. It’s a horrible struggle and one that I grapple with constantly. Who am I? Where do I fit in? Ninety percent of the time, we are a family…one loving unit; but then suddenly I find myself outside…of my family, and it SUCKS. Geez, sorry, I didn’t mean to go on like this. I’m not really expecting to get the book, because I’m not a “real” Mom. I’m something less than. And that’s a struggle….every. damn. day.

  37. Roxanne
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 3:59 pm

    I’m a single mama, divorced for a year with the ex-husband finally moving into his own place (literally. today is moving day). I think my biggest struggle is with comparing myself to the other mamas around me. I am constantly comparing myself to what (I perceive) they have, and what I don’t. I struggle with constantly needing to know if what I’m doing for my kiddo is perfect, or good enough, for him. I tell myself that I am trying my best and that he is smart & wonderful no matter how I feel about my mothering, but I don’t always believe myself.

    In fact, I rarely believe myself.

    In my 4+ years of being a mother, I have never gained the confidence in my abilities that I thought would come to me instantly, as it seems to have happened for other mamas I know. I constantly struggle and beat myself up over the fact that I am an imperfect person, an imperfect mother, and was an imperfect wife. And now that I’m doing it pretty much all on my own, I know that I am going to struggle even more with knowing whether I’m doing good enough by my son.

  38. Jenn
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 7:02 pm

    Ha! This post could be a reflection of my life (minus the book…. and the divorce). I’ve been a practicing attorney (working hellacious hours) for the last eight years and a mom for the last three. Over those three years, it has become painfully obvious that being able to “have it all” is, in fact, a myth. It is for that very reason that I quit my job, and my family and are are packing up and leaving a house and state that we love, and traveling 2,200 miles across the country (to a job that I will hopefully love, and a state that I’m not sure we will even like) in hopes of getting more “life” in our work-life balance. I’ll let you know how it goes. :o)

  39. Hollee Temple
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 7:52 pm

    Just wanted to say thank you to all of you for your enthusiasm for Good Enough Is the New Perfect! I wish everyone could win:) If not, it’s only $11 on Amazon. I love all of the reviews we’ve been getting, but this just might take the prize. Thank you!

  40. Becca
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 8:20 pm

    I seriously JUST finished a conversation about this then read this post! weird. I was saying how I had felt bad that i bought cupcakes for my son’s birthday party when my mom used to make elaborate cakes. but he is healthy and happy and knows he is loved and I am sane and not suffering from stress-related sickness like my mom has, so I was going to decide this was good enough and stop beating myself up.

  41. Becca
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 8:22 pm

    and hug to Casey above^^

  42. Casey
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 9:31 pm

    Thank you, Becca, that’s exactly what I needed.

  43. MamaMeg
    May 23rd, 2011 @ 10:54 pm

    I need this book TODAY! I cried in my office this morning after leaving a wailing 2 year old at a new class in daycare, mainly because I couldn’t imagine that the discovery I was answering was worth my baby girl’s tears. Maybe it would help lessen the guilt, all the time, of not being good enough at home or at work.

  44. Jennifer
    May 24th, 2011 @ 8:26 am

    This book sounds like something I need. My husband lost his job at the end of January and we now have to rush to be able to move. I am a SAHM, but his job requires him to travel which adds stress to my life. This move is much bigger then the last because of having a child and moving over 1,000 miles from where we are now. Thanks for the opportunity to share a good book.

  45. facie
    May 24th, 2011 @ 12:16 pm

    I struggle a lot of days. I need a steady income b/c w/o it we are in danger of not being able to pay our bills in a few months, not to mention we do so little fun stuff b/c we cannot afford it. Yet I want to be there for my kid, be at her events, volunteer at her school, etc., which I can do now.

    I hate the thought of my next job paying so much less than what I made before, requiring sitting in 45 to 60 minutes of traffic, and making me miss my kid. I need help!

  46. Tera Cruz
    May 24th, 2011 @ 5:25 pm

    I struggle most days at trying to make my energy equal the things that need to be finished. I am a working mom of two that must commute 30 miles one way to work. I also have an autoimmune disease that makes me super fatigued. I have trouble making myself save energy for the important things like my family instead of making sure I have a super clean house. Sure home I win the copy of the book because I need all the help I can get!

  47. Missy
    May 24th, 2011 @ 10:20 pm

    It’s all a struggle. Isn’t it? Everything. Working, trying to find work. Caring for your child(ren) full time, or leaving them in someone else’s care because you have to earn a living. Being a wife to someone who isn’t supportive or good for you, or being single & trying to be supportive enough & good for yourself. It’s just hard. Some days it comes easy, or easy enough that we have hope that it will continue to get better. Some days are so goddamn hard, it’s all we can do to just keep moving through it.

  48. Jennifer
    May 25th, 2011 @ 9:32 am

    I struggle because I loathe myself for my imperfections. Instead of giving myself a pass for a house that’s not worthy of a spread in Better Homes and Gardens, I fall into the trap of blaming myself for not being able to do it all. I take that frustration and self loathing out on everyone else around me. I know that I SAY that it’s OK to be good enough, but I need something to really make me BELIEVE it. It sounds like this book could do the trick.

  49. Wendy
    May 25th, 2011 @ 9:50 am

    I struggle a lot with finding balance and just trying to spend more time enjoying life and my kids, instead of the constant rat race of trying to get it all done. I have a hard time relaxing at my house, because if it’s messy I feel like I have to clean. I’ve learned to let it go some, but I could definitely do better.

  50. Anne R.
    May 25th, 2011 @ 10:08 am

    This book sounds spot-on with what so many of us are going through. I struggle with wanting to be SUPER-WOMAN, but between working, a semi-long commute, daycare, being a single mom half the month b/c of H’s work schedule, trying to be a good Mom/Wife/friend/family member….you just really have to let go of being Super Woman and just settle for being a Super Mom to your kid. 🙂 This book sounds like a great read!

  51. JD Momma
    May 25th, 2011 @ 1:03 pm

    I am also a law momma with 3 boys(14, 2, and 8 months) and would love to find a way to beleive that I can be good enough w/o being super mom/wife/atty…
    And I don’t normally read books like that either – give me something light, funny, deadly, crazy, haunting, and i am good to go to a new land/world, but think that this might actually help. If I donn’t win, I am just have to figure out how to afford a copy (state employee salary supporting 5 people due to hubby being unemployed 🙁 )

  • Creative Commons License
    Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) by Law Momma is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    Based on a work at
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